Joseph (Old Testament)

"You look bloody gorgeous, Joseph!"

Light iron-age reading
The Bible

Gabbin' with God

* Old / New Testament
* Apocrypha
* Annotated Bible

Analysis

* Authorship of the New Testament
* Evidence for the Exodus
* King James Only

Woo

* Jesus diet
* Zion Oil and Gas
* Kabbalah Center

Figures

* Amalekites
* King David
* Nimrod

v \- t \- e

The Old Testament character Joseph grew up in a family which had been dysfunctional for several generations.

## Contents

* 1 Joseph's ancestors
* 2 Joseph's story
* 3 See also
* 4 Don't see also
* 5 Notes

## Joseph's ancestors[edit]

The great grandfather of Joseph, Abraham, was a God-fearing man. According to Judeo-Christian theology, Abraham drove one son, Ishmael, into the desert with his mother, Hagar, and came close to sacrificing the other son, Isaac, to Yahweh. Muslims believe that Ishmael was the intended sacrifice.

Isaac, Joseph's grandfather, having escaped his father's sacrificial knife by a hair's breadth, lives a low-key PTSD life on the edge of the desert. As classic case of monotheist-flavored passive aggressive behavior, he promotes the son who marries polytheistic women from other tribes (Esau) and ignores the one who is faithful to the ancestral god, El (Jacob). To the great relief of monotheists, Jacob successfully deceives his father and brother, gaining the tribal patriarchal blessing from Isaac and fathering another generation of viciously competitive sons, one of whom is Joseph the Dreamer.

## Joseph's story[edit]

Joseph's father, Jacob, loved Joseph's mother Rachel and Joseph more than he loved his other wives and sons. Furthermore, Joseph was a fortune teller. He could also interpret dreams. Joseph had two dreams predicting that his father Jacob and two brothers would bow down to him. Despite this, Jacob loved Joseph and gave him an Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat™. All his bad brothers envied Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat™. They envied the prediction that they would have to bow down to him. The bad brothers attacked Joseph. He was sold as a slave in Egypt.

Joseph became an overseer to an important Egyptian called Potiphar. Potiphar’s wife wanted to have an affair with Joseph, but Joseph loved Yahweh more than Potiphar’s wife (or so we are told, after all, you know, who really knows?).[note 1] Potiphar's wife was humiliated that Joseph liked Yahweh more than he liked her. She had Joseph thrown into prison.

Joseph's fortune telling got him released, and he became an overseer to Pharaoh. Joseph foresaw that there would be seven years of plenty. Afterwards, lovable Yahweh planned seven years of famine. Joseph got to oversee storing corn to last the seven years of famine. The famine affected Canaan, where Jacob and his family were, as well as Egypt. The family found out that there was corn in Egypt. Joseph, as overseer to Pharaoh, got to see his brothers when they came to buy corn.

The brothers did not recognize Joseph and bowed and grovelled. It looks like Joseph was feeling vindictive. He hid a silver cup among the belongings of his younger brother, Benjamin. Then he accused his innocent brother of theft and threatened to enslave him. Such things happen in dysfunctional families. Later, Joseph revealed his true identity, and they all forgave the wrongs that they had done to each other.

## See also[edit]

* Book of Genesis: What led up to this
* Book of Exodus: The exciting sequel to this story

Four men called "Joseph" are relevant to Abrahamic religions:

* Joseph (husband of Mary), one of several possible fathers of Jesus
* Joseph of Arimathea, who may have buried Jesus, if he was dead
* Josephus, a Romanised Jewish historian misquoted by Christians.
* Some wingnuts believe that Joseph was Imhotep.
* Moses is the next important character.

## Don't see also[edit]

* The Ballad of Little Joe – the story of Joseph turned into a Western with the characters turned into produce.
* This take on the story by Jack Chick. Notice Panel 15.

## Notes[edit]

1. ↑ This was a bit paradoxical, as Yahweh was inclined to do things like drowning most of mankind, including innocent children and babies, because he thought they were sinners.

v \- t \- e

Articles about the Bible

Old Testament: |  Goliath • Tamar • Tower of Babel • Abel • Firmament • Baal • Noah • Isaac • Ishmael • Amalekites • Curse of Ham • Jacob • Sodom and Gomorrah • Ezekiel's wheel • Lot • Nephilim • G'Tach • Joseph was Imhotep • Moses • Global flood • Cain • Gibeah • Abraham • Old Testament • Incubus and succubus myths • King David • Serpent seed doctrine • Leviathan • Messiah • Mark of Cain • Asherah • Nimrod • Sirach • Jezebel • Adam and Eve • Moloch • Book of Joel • Garden of Eden • Satan • List of actions prohibited by the Bible •
| Torah: |  Torah • Book of Exodus • Book of Genesis • Book of Leviticus • Book of Numbers • Book of Zechariah • Book of Deuteronomy •
| Old Testament History: |  Book of Esther • Book of Ezra • Book of Judges • Book of Ruth • Books of Chronicles • Books of Kings • Books of Samuel • Book of Joshua •
| Old Testament Wisdom: |  Ecclesiastes • Song of Solomon • Book of Job • Book of Proverbs • Book of Psalms •
| Major and Minor Prophets: |  Book of Daniel • Book of Ezekiel • Book of Isaiah • Book of Lamentations • Book of Jeremiah •
New Testament: |  Mary Magdalene • New Testament • Mary (mother of Jesus) • Joseph of Arimathea • Paul of Tarsus • Good Samaritan • Authorship of the New Testament • Magi • John the Baptist • Principalities and powers • Joseph (husband of Mary) • Nag Hammadi library • Messiah • Jesus • Gospel of Barnabas • Peter the Apostle • Pontius Pilate • Judas Iscariot • Book of Revelation •
| Gospels and Acts: |  Acts of the Apostles • Gospels • Q gospel • Gospel of John • Gospel of Mark • Gospel of Luke • Gospel of Matthew •
| Pauline Epistles: |  Corinthians • Galatians • Ephesians • Colossians • Epistle to the Philippians • Epistle to Philemon • Epistle to the Romans • Epistle to Titus • First Epistle to the Thessalonians • Second Epistle to the Thessalonians • Second Epistle to Timothy • First Epistle to Timothy •
| General Epistles: |  Epistle of Jude • Epistle of James • Epistle to the Hebrews • First Epistle of John • First Epistle of Peter • Second Epistle of John • Second Epistle of Peter • Third Epistle of John •
Bible analysis: |  Apocalyptic literature • Authorship of the New Testament • Bible interpolation • Biblical sexism • Bibliolatry • Documentary hypothesis • Evidence for the Exodus • Gospels • Horizontal reading • King James Only • Pesher • Q gospel • Septuagint • Skeptic's Annotated Bible • Ten Commandments • Torah • Bible translation • Word of God • Biblical literalism • Biblical contradictions • List of mistakes made by God • Abomination • Firmament • G'Tach • Arsenokoites • Genealogy of Jesus • Nag Hammadi library • Noah's Ark • Annotated Bible • Slavery in the Bible • Examples of God personally killing people • Herod • The Brick Testament • Evidence against a recent creation • EvilBible.com • List of actions prohibited by the Bible • Biblical scientific errors •
| Bible translations: |  Cockney Bible • Douay-Rheims • Jefferson Bible • King James Only • Septuagint • Vetus Latina • Bible translation • Annotated Bible •
| Apocrypha: |  Didache • Apocrypha • Nag Hammadi library • Book of Judith • 2 Maccabees • 3 Maccabees • 4 Maccabees • Books of Enoch • Books of the Maccabees • Gospel of Judas • Gospel of Mary • Gospel of Philip • Gospel of Thomas • Infancy Gospel of James • Infancy Gospel of Thomas • 1 Maccabees •
Biblical figures: |  Abel • Cain • Ishmael • Jacob • Joseph of Arimathea • Mary (mother of Jesus) • Noah • Paul of Tarsus • Mary Magdalene • Lot • Goliath • Nephilim • Moses • YHWH • Amalekites • Baal • King David • Joseph (husband of Mary) • God • Jesus • Asherah • Nimrod • Habakkuk • Adam and Eve • Herod • Pontius Pilate • Jezebel • Tamar • Judas Iscariot • Satan •
Bible woo: |  Jesus diet • Name it and claim it • Snake handling • Speaking in tongues • Spiritual warfare • The Bible Code • Gematria • Stigmata • Biblical longevity • Hanzi of Genesis • Dr. Bronner's Soap • Presidential Prayer Team • Trinity Broadcasting Network • Zecharia Sitchin • James Ussher • Creation Week • Zion Oil and Gas • The Drama of the Lost Disciples • Roman Piso • Jose Luis de Jesús • Prayer • Black Hebrew Israelites • Jonathan Otto • Benny Hinn • Presents Of God Ministry • Solfeggio frequencies • Ken Ham • Harold Camping • Institute for Creation Research • Steve Quayle • Kabbalah Center • Acharya S • Christian Identity • Peter J. Peters • Ezekiel's wheel • Creation Research • Biblical scientific foreknowledge • British Israelism •
| Scientific foreknowledge: |  Gaps between Science and the Bible • Scientific Facts in the Bible: 100 Reasons to Believe the Bible is Supernatural in Origin • Science Confirms the Bible • Eternal Productions: 101 Scientific Facts and Foreknowledge • Modern Science in the Bible • Biblical scientific foreknowledge •