Human mating strategies

Short description: Courtship behavior of humans

A human couple Part of a series on

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Darwin's finches by John Gould

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Human mating strategies are a topic of interest in (evolutionary) psychology, behavioral ecology, and anthropology. Strategies used to seek and retain mates often overlap with reproductive strategies.

Humans may seek out individuals with the intention of forming a long-term intimate relationship, marriage, casual relationship, or (romantic) friendship. The desire for companionship and sex drive are some of the strongest motivations of human behavior. Relative to those of other animals, human mating strategies are unique in their relationship with cultural variables such as the institution of marriage.[1] Except in cases of arranged marriages, the human mating process involves one person meeting another to assess his or her suitability, courtship, and the formation of an interpersonal relationship. Commonalities, however, can be found between humans and nonhuman animals in mating behavior, as in the case of animal sexual behavior in general and assortative mating in particular.

Human mating strategies also affect and are affected by sexuality, religion, culture, politics, and economics.

## Contents

* 1 Theoretical background
* 1.1 Parental investment
* 1.2 Life history strategies
* 1.2.1 Challenges with applying life history strategies to humans
* 2 Mating strategies
* 2.1 Sex similarities
* 2.1.1 Assortative mating
* 2.1.2 Dating
* 2.1.3 Double standards and infidelity
* 2.1.4 Flirting
* 2.1.5 Kissing
* 2.1.6 Matchmaking
* 2.2 Sex differences
* 2.2.1 Short-term and long-term mating
* 2.2.2 Determination of mate value
* 2.2.3 Relevance of the sex ratio
* 2.2.4 Sexual desire
* 2.2.5 Mate retention
* 2.2.6 Intrasexual competition
* 2.2.7 Abuse and violence
* 2.3 Individual differences
* 2.3.1 Sociosexual Orientation Inventory
* 2.3.2 Short-term vs. long-term mating
* 2.3.3 Differences among males
* 2.3.4 Differences among females
* 2.3.5 Mating plasticity
* 2.4 Alternatives to opposite-sex pair-bonding
* 2.4.1 Asexuality, aromanticism, and celibacy
* 2.4.2 Homosexuality
* 2.4.3 Platonic relationships and friendships
* 2.4.4 Polygamy
* 2.4.5 Prostitution
* 2.4.6 Solitary sex
* 3 Effects of modernity
* 4 Impact of and on culture
* 4.1 Adolescent behavior
* 4.2 Cultural traditions and popular culture
* 4.3 Consumer psychology
* 4.4 Sensational journalism and gossip
* 4.5 Romantic novels, fan fiction, and pornography
* 4.6 Music, film, television, and graphic arts
* 4.7 Online dating
* 4.8 Politics
* 4.9 Religion
* 5 See also
* 6 References
* 7 External links

## Theoretical background

### Parental investment

Research on human mating strategies is guided by the theory of sexual selection, and in particular, Robert Trivers' concept of parental investment. Trivers defined parental investment as "any investment by the parent in an individual offspring that increases the offspring's chance of surviving (and hence reproductive success) at the cost of the parent's ability to invest in other offspring."[2] The support given to each offspring typically differs between the father and mother. Trivers posited that it is the differential parental investment between males and females that drives the process of sexual selection. In turn, sexual selection leads to the evolution of sexual dimorphism in mate choice, competitive ability, and courtship displays (see secondary sex characteristics).

Maternal Admiration (1869) by William-Adolphe Bouguereau. Females have a higher minimal investment in offspring than males.

Minimum parental investment is the least required care for successful reproduction. In humans, females have a higher minimum parental investment. They have to invest in internal fertilization, placentation, and gestation, followed by childbirth and lactation.[3] While human males can invest heavily in their offspring as well, their minimum parental investment is still lower than that of females.[4]

This same concept can be looked at from an economic perspective regarding the costs of engaging in sexual relations. Females incur the higher costs, as they carry the possibility of becoming pregnant among other costs.[5] Conversely, males have comparatively minimal costs of having a sexual encounter. Therefore, evolutionary psychologists have predicted a number of sex differences in human mating psychologies.

Women tend to appreciate men who are chivalrous despite their sexist attitudes towards them. Because such men are more likely to invest in these women and their children, it makes evolutionary sense for women to be drawn towards them. They are likely to be more dependent on such men, to limit their own ambitions, and to submit to them.[6][7]

### Life history strategies

Life history theory helps to explain differences in timing of sexual relationships, the quantity of sexual partners, and parental investment.[8] According to this theory, since organisms have only a limited supply of energy, which they use to develop their bodies, they must prioritize energy use and they do so on a spectrum. At one end of the spectrum, the organism chooses rapid physical development and reaches sexual maturation quickly, which is deemed a "fast" strategy.[9] Organisms implementing a "fast" strategy seek to have sexual relationships earlier, multiple mates, and to invest less in their offspring. On the other end of the spectrum is the "slow" strategy, in which organisms have sexual relationships later, fewer mates, and invest more heavily in their offspring.

Generally, fast strategies are pursued in populations that are r-selected (where r is the maximal intrinsic value of natural increase), and slow strategies are developed in populations that are K-selected (K being the carrying capacity of the local environment, or how many individuals within a population that their environment can support). Species that are r-selected tend to reproduce faster, be specialists, and to be smaller. K-selected organisms have fewer offspring over the course of their lifetimes and tend to live longer; they are more likely to be larger and to be generalists. Species exist along an r-K continuum, rather than being one or the other. Humans are considered a K-selected species, meaning that on the whole, they pursue "slow" strategies relative to other species.[10]

Life-history characteristics include age at sexual maturity, gestation period, birth weight, litter size, postnatal growth rates, breastfeeding duration, birth spacing, length of juvenile dependence, level of parental investment, adult body size, and longevity. Variation in these traits between individuals, according to life-history theory, is due to homeostasis, reproduction, and growth. For example, if more of one species' resources are going towards reproduction than physical growth, then the age at which they reach sexual maturity will be earlier than a species that devotes more energy to physical growth.[11]

These strategies are unconscious and help increase the organism's reproductive success in a given environment. Early childhood environments may play a part in which strategy a person unconsciously pursues.[12] In a hostile environment, risk and unpredictability is increased and therefore survival is a higher priority. A "fast" strategy is more likely to be pursued by populations living in hostile environments in order to reach maturity and reproduce quickly.[13] In less risky environments, populations are more likely to pursue a "slow" strategy to physically develop first and then reproduce. This concept has been applied to humans as well, though there are differences in life history strategy application both between and within species.[9]

#### Challenges with applying life history strategies to humans

Human life history theories in psychology focus on behavioral choices like mate choice and parenting effort (see evolutionary anthropology), while in evolutionary ecology, they focus on allocation of energy to maximize success and reproduction.[14] Evolutionary psychologists use three metrics to describe environments that predict which life history strategy people will choose: resource availability, harshness, and unpredictability.[15] For example, food insecurity is an example of low resource availability, and frequent relocation or switching schools are signs of unpredictability. Harshness and unpredictability come into play when resource availability is satisfied, because without resources, individuals have few opportunities to mature and reproduce. Smoking, weak health, and poor personal care are all traits that are correlated with earlier sexual experiences, earlier births, and having more short-term sex partners.[16] However, sexual behaviors can vary across cultures and classes, and might not have a simple relationship with childhood experiences.[17] Extrinsic mortality (the harshness of an individual's environment) does not directly affect whether people adopt a fast or slow strategy.[18] Pace-of-life studies indicate that the link between individuals experiencing difficult environments growing up and their later sexual behavior may be tenuous, or else too muddied with confounding variables to track.[19]

Behavior sciences might not, in general, be a good framework in which to consider life-history theory. Biological life-history theory is based on tradeoffs between energy expenditure and the benefits of reproduction, and these tradeoffs are difficult to measure in humans due to the inability to ascertain tradeoffs among phenotypically different individuals, poor models for tradeoffs, and a reliance on allo-parental investment.[20] Life-history theory could be made more applicable in humans by incorporating the recognition that individuals tend to discount the future, meaning they see their assets as more valuable in the present than in the future.[20] Individuals who place a higher "discount rate" on their reproductive abilities, or see it as much more valuable now than later, are more likely to mate earlier and pursue fast strategies.[20]

## Mating strategies

There is vast variety in mating strategies across genders, cultures and environments.[21] Similar mating strategies are used by both men and women. They have also evolved to use broadly distinct strategies.[22]

### Sex similarities

#### Assortative mating

Main article: Biology:Assortative mating

Human mating is inherently non-random.[23] Despite the stereotype that "opposite" people attract one another, humans generally prefer mates who share the same or similar traits,[24] such as genetics,[25][26] quantitative phenotypes like height or body-mass index,[27][28][29] skin pigmentation,[30] the level of physical attractiveness,[31] disease risk (including cancers and mental disorders),[28][32] race or ethnicity,[33][34][35] facial features,[31] socioeconomic factors (such as (potential) income level and occupational prestige),[36][37][38] cultural backgrounds,[35][39] moral values,[39][40] religious beliefs,[31][41] political orientation,[31][42] (perceived) personality traits (such as conscientiousness or extraversion),[28][33][43] behavioral characteristics[42] (such as the level of generosity or the propensity for alcoholism),[31] educational attainment,[33][42][44] and IQ or general intelligence.[37][45][46] Furthermore, in the past, marriage across status lines was more common. Women typically looked for a man of high status (hypergamy), a sign of access to resources. Men, for their part, were usually willing to marry down the socioeconomic ladder (hypogamy) if the woman possessed domestic skills, or was young and good looking (proxies of fertility).[33][34] In the modern world, people tend to desire well-educated and intelligent children; this goal is better achieved by marrying bright people with high incomes, resulting in the intensification of economic assortative mating.[37][45] Indeed, better educated parents tend to have children who are not only well-educated but also healthy and successful.[47] For this reason, when judging the value of a potential mate, people commonly consider the other person's grasp of grammar (a proxy of socioeconomic status of educational level), teeth quality (indicators of health and age), and self-confidence (psychological stability).[48] Furthermore, the age gap between two partners has also declined.[35] In other words, men and women became more symmetrical in the socioeconomic traits they desire in a mate.[33] Among the aforementioned traits, the correlations in age, race or ethnicity, religion, educational attainment, and intelligence between spouses are the most pronounced,[46][49][50] while height is one of the most heritable,[49][51] with mating partners sharing 89% of the genetic variations affecting the preference for height.[51]

It is not unusual for couples to look alike (as if they were related). Besides assortative mating, some people are unconsciously attracted by their own faces or prefer familiar-looking ones for ease of cognitive processing. People who are emotionally close to their opposite-sex parents may be prone to unknowingly selecting mates bearing resemblance to said parents, who served as role models for what a desirable mate should be like, a phenomenon called sexual imprinting.[52]

Public secondary school is the last time people of various backgrounds are lumped together in the same setting. After that, they begin sorting themselves out by various measures of social screening.[53] Among those marrying late (relative to the time when they left school), socioeconomic status is especially important. In societies where the numbers of highly educated and career-minded women are increasing, the role of socioeconomic status is likely to be even more important in the future.[39] These women generally do not choose to mate with men who are less occupationally and educationally accomplished than they are. For this reason, in societies where they outnumber men, the competition for those desirable males has been intensifying. This trend first emerged in Europe and North America but has been spreading to other places as well.[54] However, a growing number of women are avoiding relationships with men altogether.[55]

Positive assortative mating raises the chances of a given trait being passed on to the couple's offspring,[42] strengthens the bond between the parents,[43][56] and increases genetic similarity between family members, whereupon in-group altruism and inclusive fitness are enhanced.[56] That the two partners are culturally compatible reduces uncertainty in lifestyle choices and ensures social support.[39] In some cases, homogamy can also increase the couple's fertility[35][56] and the number of offspring surviving till adulthood.[57]

Prevalence of consanguineous marriages (second-degree cousins or closer) by country.

On the other hand, there is evolutionary pressure against mating with people too genetically similar to oneself, such as members of the same nuclear family.[56] In addition, children born into parents who are cousins have an increased risk of autosomal recessive genetic disorders, and this risk is higher in populations that are already highly ethnically homogeneous.[58] Children of more distantly related cousins have less risk of these disorders, though still higher than the average population. Therefore, humans tend to maximize the genetic similarity of their mates while avoiding excessive inbreeding or incest.[56] First-cousin marriages nowadays are rare[57] and are in fact prohibited in a number of jurisdictions worldwide.[59][60] In general, humans seem to prefer mates who are (the equivalent of) second or higher-parity cousins.[61] Genetic analyses of the United States suggest that the genomic correlation between spouses is comparable to that between second cousins.[62] Another study indicated that between 1800 and 1965 in Iceland, more children and grandchildren were produced from marriages between third or fourth cousins (people with common great-great- or great-great-great-grandparents) than from other degrees of consanguinity.[63] In the past, there was indeed some awareness of the dangers of inbreeding, as can be seen in legal prohibitions in some societies, while in the current era, better transportation infrastructure makes it less likely to occur.[35] Moreover, modern transportation has diminished residential propinquity as a factor in assortative mating.[35] But cultural anthropologists have noted that avoidance of inbreeding cannot be the sole basis for the incest taboo because the boundaries of the incest prohibition vary widely between cultures and time periods, and not necessarily in ways that maximize the avoidance of inbreeding.[64][65][66][67] In Roman Egypt, marriage between (biological) siblings was accepted.[68] France dropped incest from its legal code during the Napoleonic era, though it remains illegal for siblings to marry.[68] In the Middle East, marriage between cousins is common.[69] On the other hand, many parts of the United States have proscribed first-cousin marriage since the nineteenth century.[70] There is no evidence that the actual prevalence of incest is affected by its legal status.[68]

While human assortative mating is usually positive,[28] in the case of the major histocompatibility complex (MHC) on chromosome 6, humans tend to be more attracted to those who are genetically different in this region, judging from their odors.[71][72] This promotes MHC heterogeneity in their offspring, making them more resistant to pathogens.[73][74] Another example of negative assortative mating is among people with traits linked to high testosterone (such as analytical thinking and spatial reasoning) and those traits due to high estrogen (empathy and social skills). They generally find each other appealing.[48]

Assortative mating is partly due to social effects. For instance, religious people are more likely to meet their potential mates in their places of worship while highly educated people typically meet their future spouses in institutions of higher learning.[31] Nevertheless, it can have a quantitatively discernible impact upon the human genome and as such has implications for human evolution even in the presence of population stratification.[75] Pleiotropy, or the phenomenon in which a single gene can influence multiple traits, and assortative mating are responsible for the correlations between some sexually selected traits in humans, such as height and IQ, which are weakly positively correlated.[76] In a knowledge-based economy, educational and socioeconomic assortative mating contributes to the growth in household income inequality, as parents with higher incomes and levels of education tend to invest more in their offspring, giving them an edge later in life.[54][36][37][45][77]

#### Dating

Main article: Social:Dating

The Sailing Signal Gun (1880) by Arthur Hughes. Humans engage in dating or courtship in order to assess their suitability as potential mates.

People date to assess each other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. Dating rules may vary across different cultures, and some societies may even replace the dating process by a courtship instead.

#### Double standards and infidelity

See also: Social:Hypocrisy

Both men and women apply one set of standards for themselves and another for their partners. They disapprove of their partners examining other options, but may very well do so themselves. Some even get worried if their partners are not jealous enough.[78]: 238 In particular, what counts as sexual contact is different depending on the person engaging in the act, oneself or one's partner. If the person in question is the one to do it, they are unlikely to consider it infidelity compared to when their partner does it. Nevertheless, women are more likely than men to be judged harshly for their promiscuity, even in the most gender-egalitarian of modern societies like Norway. In fact, women are the most aggressive in shaming other women for being promiscuous.[79] This sexual double standard can be explained by the biological sex difference between men and women; no matter how he acts, a man can never become pregnant.[80]: 16

#### Flirting

Although sexual intercourse is a motivation for flirting,[81] humans sometimes flirt just for fun.[82] They may also flirt in order to consolidate or maintain a romantic relationship with their partner.[82] Sociologist David Henningsen identified six main motivations for flirting: sex, relational development, exploration, fun, self-esteem, and as a means to an end. Henningsen further noted that many instances of flirtation may have multiple motivations.[82]

#### Kissing

Prevalence of romantic or sexual kissing among indigenous cultures worldwide

Kissing is an activity found in many different species of animals. Although romantic or sexual kissing confers no known benefits for survival and reproduction, it is hypothesized that, like other primates, humans kiss to determine the health and suitability of a potential mate, for example by olfactory signals.[83][84] It is possible that there was kissing between anatomically modern humans (Homo sapiens) and the now extinct Neanderthals,[83][84] with whom they interbred,[85] perhaps as early as 100,000 years ago, as suggested by studying the spread of the orally transmitted microorganism Methanobrevibacter oralis.[86]

But while friendly or familial kissing was common in different places throughout human history, romantic or sexual kissing was by no means universal.[87] Written historical evidence suggests that this practice arose independently in different complex or stratified societies, such as India, Mesopotamia, and Egypt during the early Bronze Age, some centuries after the invention of writing, but did not necessarily spread to other places. Kissing is also more common in colder climates.[86][88][89] As of 2024, the oldest known textual reference to romantic or sexual kissing is a clay tablet from the Sumerian city of Nippur (in modern-day Iraq), dated 2,400 B.C., depicting the copulation of deities—Enlil, king of the gods, and the mother goddess Ninhursag.[90] Another early description of kissing in the mating context comes from India in 1,500 B.C. when the oral tradition of the Vedic Sanskrit was being transcribed.[90] By the end of the fourth century B.C., kissing had spread across the Mediterranean, following the return of Greek and Macedonian soldiers from the campaign of Alexander III of Macedon in Northern India.[90] In the Roman Republic, different types of kissing were recognized, one of which was open-mouth kissing with tongue-to-tongue contact, now known as French kissing.[90] However, the depiction of romantic or sexual kissing in some known prehistoric sculptures indicates that this kind of kissing may in fact predate writing itself.[86]

Kissing on the mouth is often a prelude to copulation (foreplay) or itself a sexual activity.[91]: 169 In the aforementioned Sumerian clay tablet, however, kissing is done post-coitus.[90] Various cultures have different standards of social acceptability towards romantic kissing. In ancient Mesopotamia, romantic kissing might be something lovers yearn for,[87] but could not do outside of marriage, because doing so was deemed a crime as serious as adultery.[90] In the Roman Empire, two lovers kissing in public was considered indecent. This was partly because of a health risk posed by kissing, which was known to spread cold sores, caused by the herpes simplex virus.[90] In medieval Europe, kissing was done on both the cheeks and the mouth, with a certain level of ambiguity as to whether it was a simple greeting or an expression of romantic interest. But kissing on the mouth as a greeting gesture disappeared following the Black Death.[92] Indeed, in many cultures today, such as Sudan, kissing on the mouth is thought to be rude or unsanitary.[92] It is hypothesized that despite the risk of pathogen transmission, romantic and sexual kissing evolved from parental care-giving (premasticating and oral feeding) to something that could help strengthen social ties and facilitate pair-bonding.[93]

#### Matchmaking

See also: Social:Marry-your-rapist law

Since the dawn of agriculture, marital norms have been centered on the accumulation and preservation of the family fortune.[94]

Historically, one of the roles of the family was to select (potential) spouses of the opposite sex but from the same race or ethnicity and religion for the children.[95][96] It was also common for families to arrange a marriage as a transaction for the sake of political or economic expediency.[97] In many cultural traditions, a date may be arranged by a third party, who may be a family member, acquaintance, or (professional) matchmaker.[98]

In China, for instance, single women in their late 20s and up—pejoratively called "leftover women" (Sheng nu)—tend to use matchmaking services. Women who prefer not to ask potentially embarrassing questions—such as whether both spouses will handle household finances, whether or not they will live with his parents, or how many children he wants to have, if any—will get a matchmaker to do it for them. Both sexes prefer matchmakers who are women.[99] Such a matchmaker could be also a religious leader in a community where religious attendance is common.[96] In some cultures, such as India, a marriage may be arranged by the couple's parents or an outside party.[98] Yet even here, couples in the early twenty-first century are increasingly making their own decisions about marriage.[100] According to a 2014 report from the United Nations Children's Fund, a quarter of a billion females were forced into marriage before the age of 15, especially in South Asia and sub-Saharan Africa.[101][102] In these cultures, the onset of puberty remains a marker of readiness for marriage. According to their traditional viewpoints, marrying off a young teenage girl is a way to prevent her from having premarital sexual intercourse and to "protect" her from sexual assault.[101]

From the 2000s onward, internet dating—a new form of matchmaking—has become increasingly popular.[95][96][98] This service feeds data shared by users into machine-learning algorithms to find the optimal match.[103]

### Sex differences

#### Short-term and long-term mating

Evolutionarily speaking, due to differential parental investment, the less investing sex displays more intrasexual competitiveness.[2] This is because they can invest less in each offspring and therefore can reproduce at a higher frequency, which allows them to compete for more mates. Additionally, the higher investing sex is more choosy in their mate.[2] Since they have a higher minimum parental investment, they carry greater costs with each sexual encounter. These costs lead them to have higher selection standards and therefore they are more choosy.

In humans, females have the higher obligatory biological parental investment. In short-term mating, females are choosier as they have the bigger parental investment. In long-term mating, males and females are equally choosy as they have the same amount of parental investment. Therefore, female and male intrasexual competition and female and male choosiness is equally high in long-term mating but not in short-term mating.

Sacred and Profane Love (1514) by Titian. Men pursue different types of women depending on whether they desire a long-term or short-term mate.

Since males have the lower obligatory parental investment, they should pursue a short-term mating strategy more often than females.[5] Short term mating is characterized by casual, low commitment sexual relationships with many partners that do not last a long time. Additionally, males benefit more from short-term mating than females do.[104] Because males generally pursue short-term mating strategies, their overall reproductive success is higher than that of females, however it is also more variable. This means that males are able to have more offspring on average, however only relatively few males are able to have a very large number of offspring. Due to this short-mating strategy, males have a greater desire for sexual variety, need less time to consent to intercourse, and seek short-term mates more than females.[5][105]

However, females also pursue short-term mates, but the motivations differ from males. Females can benefit from short-term mating in numerous ways.[106][107] First, it allows for a quick extraction of resources. Women in a stressed situation may benefit from protection from a male and short term mating is a way to achieve this as is seen in contemporary asylum seeker anthropological studies.[108]

One prominent hypothesis is that ancestral women selectively engaged in short-term mating with men capable of transmitting genetic benefits to their offspring such as health, disease resistance, or attractiveness (see good genes theory and sexy son hypothesis). Since women cannot inspect men's genes directly, they may have evolved to infer genetic quality from certain observable characteristics (see indicator traits). One prominent candidate for a "good genes" indicator includes absence of fluctuating asymmetry, or the degree to which men have perfect bodily symmetry. Other candidates include masculine facial features,[109] behavioral dominance,[110] and low vocal pitch.[111] Evolutionary psychologists have therefore indicated that women pursuing a short-term mating strategy have higher preferences for these good gene indicators, and men who possess good genes indicators are more successful in pursuing short-term mating strategies than men who do not. Indeed, research indicates that self-perceived physical attractiveness,[112] absence of fluctuating asymmetry,[113] and low vocal pitch[114] are positively related to short-term mating success in men but not in women.

Conversely, long-term mating is marked by serious committed sexual relationships with relatively few partners. While males generally pursue a short-term mating strategy when possible, females typically pursue a long-term mating strategy.[5] Long-term strategies are characterized by extended courtships, high investment, and few sexual partners. While pursuing a long-term strategy, females are able to get resources from males over the course of the relationship. Female mating psychology is generally more focused on finding high quality mates rather than increasing the quantity of their mates, which is reflected in their pursuit of a long-term strategy.[115] Additionally, they also benefit from higher parental investment by males. Women are thought to seek long-term partners with resources (such as shelter and food) that provide aid and support survival of offspring.[116] To achieve this, women are thought to have evolved extended sexuality. The key benefit for males pursuing a long-term strategy is higher parental certainty.[5] However, both sexes pursue both strategies and get benefits from both strategies.[117] Additionally, humans typically do not pursue the extremes of either short or long-term mating strategies.

It is possible that females are more prone to psychological depression than males if they are subject to K-selection.[118] Because women's reproductive decisions are made with more risks then men's, postpartum depression could be a signal to women that they faced a bad investment opportunity, would be evolutionarily adaptive.[119] By the same token, some researchers hypothesized that postpartum depression is more likely to occur in mothers who are suffering a fitness cost, in order to inform them that they should reduce or withdraw investment in their infants.[120][121] Moreover, there is some evidence that postpartum depression could function as a bargaining strategy, in which parents who were not receiving adequate support from their partners withdrew their investment in order to elicit additional support. In support of this, Hagen found that postpartum depression in one spouse was related to increased levels of child investment in the other spouse.[122]

#### Determination of mate value

The Wedding Register (1920) by Edmund Blair Leighton. Male mate value depends on his access to resources while female mate value lies in her youth and fertility.[23]

An individual's mate value corresponds to the likelihood of his or her future reproductive success,[123] determined by ability of said individual to produce healthy offspring in the future, based on his or her age and sex.[123] Mate value is determined by sexual selection, that is, what each sex considers to be desirable in a mate.[5] Over evolutionary time, the individuals with higher mate values generally have greater reproductive success. These qualities that comprise mate value evolved into what is considered physically attractive,[124] meaning individuals with a high mate value are perceived to be more attractive by the opposite sex than those with low mate value.[124] Furthermore, individuals with a high mate value can afford to be stricter in mate selection and may reproduce more often than those with a low mate value. Biological sex differences suggest that there are differences between the sexes in mate value as well.[5]

Mate value is perceived through signals and cues. Signals are characteristics that have been selected for because they offer reliable changes in receiver behavior that lead to higher reproductive success for the receiver.[125] Conversely, cues have not been selected for to carry meaning, but instead are byproducts.[125] But with sexual selection, cues can become signals over time.[124] Costly signals are ones that require intense effort for the signaler to send. Because they require high investment, costly signals are typically honest signals of underlying genetic qualities.[126] One the other hand, signals that are not costly enough can be faked and therefore are not associated with the underlying traits.

Philosopher Jean de La Bruyère argued that it was better to be "a beautiful girl from the age of thirteen to the age of twenty-two and then after that to be a man."[127]: 9 Indeed, evolutionary psychologists have evidence that men generally place a greater value on youth and physical attractiveness in a mate than do women. Youth is associated with greater reproductive value in women, because their ability to have offspring decreases dramatically over time compared to men. Therefore, males typically prefer to mate with females who are younger than themselves, except when they are maturing in their teens.[128] The features that men find physically attractive in women are thought to signal health and fertility,[5][129] as well as high estrogen and low testosterone.[127]: 192 Examples of the determinants of female attractiveness include curvaceousness,[130] the fact that her breasts do not yet sag,[131]: 58–9 and having a low waist-to-hip ratio (WHR).[132] In general, the female body shape is largely due to her bodily fat distribution, spread across much of her body. On average, about a quarter of a woman's body consists of fat, twice as much as a man's. This body fat was a valuable asset for childcare in ancestral times when humans spread across the globe and had to confront novel environments as well as frequent famines.[131]: 16–7

In fact, woman's lower-body or gynoid fat distribution, where the energy is stored for pregnancy for early infant care, including breastfeeding, is a determinant of her WHR.[133] A mother's WHR before pregnancy is correlated with her child's cognitive ability, as hip fat, which contains long chain polyunsaturated fatty acids, critical for the development of the fetus's brain.[134] Another reason is the fact that women, not men, give birth, and they do so between their legs. As a result, women's pelvic girdles—evolved to be a compromise between the ease of childbearing and mobility—are wider on average than men's.[131]: 17–8 A woman's wider hips are universally recognized as a sign of her sex, even if they did not originally evolve as a sexual signal.[131]: 25 A female human's WHR is at its optimal minimum during times of peak fertility—late adolescence and early adulthood—before increasing later in life.[135] For men, women with the hourglass figure, that is, low WHRs, are the most attractive.[131]: 56–7

Venus de Milo at the Louvre has a waist-hip ratio of 0.76.[136][137]

Michelangelo's David is considered a symbol of young male beauty and strength.

But while the association between perceived beauty and the WHR is found across cultures,[138] there are differences with regards to what the ideal WHR is, ranging from 0.6 in China, South America, and some of Africa[139] to 0.8 in Cameroon and among the Hadza tribe of Tanzania.[140][141][142] In the United States, divergent preferences of African- and European-Americans have been observed.[143] However, this gap has narrowed in the early twenty-first century, suggesting a degree of flexibility.[144] Indeed, there is evidence of variation across time, even within a single culture or civilization. In the Western world, the ideal WHR, as seen in artworks, was approximately constant at around 0.74 in ancient times (500 B.C. to A.D. 400) but declined between the early modern period to the early twentieth century. (Women are rarely depicted in the nude in medieval European art due to a ban by the Church.) From around 1960 to present, this decline has slowed or even reversed, judging from the WHRs of Playboy models and Miss America contestants. Nevertheless, they have never exceeded 0.85, which is what the World Health Organization currently recommends for women.[136][137] Medical research indicates that the WHR is a more accurate measure of bodily fat and predictor of mortality than the body mass index.[145] In general, however, perceived physical beauty is a matter of biology, rather than simple proportions or ratios of integers (rational numbers).[127]: 18

Only one third of the tissues comprising the breasts of adult humans are involved in lactation; the rest, mostly fatty tissues, help give the breasts their round shape. While other female mammals mostly have flat chests when they not breastfeeding their young, human females of reproductive age typically maintain their protruding breasts during their entire period of fertility.[131]: 26 Breasts are also noticeable among teenage girls, many of whom are not yet fertile.[78]: 52 This suggests that human female breasts have also been a result of sexual selection, that is, they are sexual signals.[131]: 26 Nevertheless, it is not clear why men would find breasts attractive or sexy, nor is there an "optimal" breast size that men prefer.[78]: 53–5

Besides health and fertility, men also desire younger women because they tend to have less experience, lower expectations of prospective mates, and are more psychologically pliant.[146]

On the other hand, male mate value depends on social status and access to resources, which come with age,[23][146] because one of the costs of pregnancy is the limited ability to get resources for oneself.[147] Indeed, a man's mate value generally increases until later in middle age.[129] A high-status and resource-rich male is more likely to be willing and able to invest in a female and her offspring,[23] enhancing the likelihood that the offspring will survive until reproductive age.[128] Evolutionary psychologists have speculated that women tend to prefer men of ambition and social status because they associate these characteristics with men's access to resources.[23][148] Ancestral women who opted to mate with such men would have left more descendants than those who did not.[5] Male mate value is also determined by his physical and social dominance, which are signals to high quality genes.[5] Women typically feel attracted to men who are taller than they are and who display a high degree of facial symmetry, masculine facial dimorphism, upper-body strength, broad shoulders, a relatively narrow waist, and a V-shaped torso.[149][150] Indeed, on average, a man has greater muscle mass than a woman,[131]: 16 and his broader shoulders evolved to accommodate greater upper-body strength.[131]: 25 A key sexual signal for men is their beards, universally recognized as signs of masculinity. Boys do not have them before reaching puberty.[131]: 26

Human penis size is an important sign of male sexual desirability, as the Cerne Abbas Giant in Southern England indicates

Unlike in other animals, human genitals or pubic regions have not evolved to be (visual) sexual signals. Their sizes and shapes are merely what is necessary for copulation, and, in the case of women, childbearing.[131]: 25 However, in the case of the male penis, size, when combined with other characteristics of body size and shape (such as the shoulder-to-hips ratio and height), is a determinant of male attractiveness.[150]

Body odor is another crucial criterion in assessing the suitability of a mate. In humans, some olfactory receptors are directly connected to the parts of the brain controlling reproductive behavior. Men are able to detect women's sexual arousal by the sense of smell, and a woman's smell may increase a man's level of arousal.[151] Among women not taking the hormone contraceptive pill, their olfactory and visual senses convergently guide them towards men exhibiting the least amount of fluctuating asymmetry during the most fertile periods of their menstrual cycles.[152]: 79 However, the existence of pheromones in humans has never been reliably demonstrated.[153][154]

Whereas in the past, women usually had shorter lives because many of them died during childbirth, this is no longer the case thanks to modern medicine, which has made the sexes more equal by causing maternal mortality rates to plummet.[131]: 164 Evolutionary theory predicts that males, as the sex having to take risks in order to acquire resources and status to impress potential mates, tend to have a shorter life expectancy. This is in fact what happens.[78]: 308 From an evolutionary point of view, women are far more valuable as reproductive units than men. For this reason, although men tend to be physically stronger, women generally have better immune systems and are less likely to suffer from (acute) depression and to commit suicide.[131]: 16

#### Relevance of the sex ratio

Hylas and the Water Nymphs (1909) by Henrietta Rae. Human mating is dependent on the operational sex ratio.

The local operational sex ratio has been shown to have an impact on mating strategies.[155] This is defined as the ratio of marriage-age males to marriage-age females, with a high ratio representing more males and a low ratio representing more females in the local area. When there is an imbalance of sexes, the rare sex typically has more choice, while the plentiful sex has to compete more strategically for the rare sex. This leads to the plentiful sex competing on specific areas that the rare sex finds attractive.[156] Additionally, the plentiful sex will adopt more of the rare sex's mating strategy. In a population with a low sex ratio, females will adopt a more short-term mating strategy and will compete more intensely on things like physical attractiveness. On the other hand, in a society with a high sex ratio, males will adopt a more long-term strategy to attractive females. (See going steady.) For example, in the major metropolitan areas of China, females are generally in short supply and as such are more likely to be fulfilled should they find a mate while many men are simply left out of the dating market. On the other hand, on the Island of Manhattan and in some Western university campuses, females are in excess and as such they compete intensely for male attention, giving rise to hookup culture and short-term mating websites such as Tinder.[54]

In 2005, the evolutionary psychologist David Schmitt conducted a multinational survey of sexual attitudes and behaviors involving 48 countries called the International Sexual Description Project (ISSR).[157] Schmitt assessed relationships between several societal-level variables and average scores on the SOI. One variable that was shown to significantly predict a nation's average SOI score was the Operational Sex Ratio (OSR). This prediction was confirmed; OSR was significantly positively correlated with national SOI scores.[157] Another variable that Schmitt predicted would influence SOI scores was the need for biparental care. In societies where extensive care from both parents is needed to ensure offspring survival, the costs of having sex with an uncommitted partner are much higher. Schmitt found significant negative correlations between several indices of need for biparental care (e.g. infant mortality, child malnutrition, and low birth-weight infants) and national SOI scores.

#### Sexual desire

The Golden Age (1863) by William-Adolphe Bouguereau. Extended sexuality facilitates and reinforces pair-bonding. The woman shown here may also be taking advantage of lactational amenorrhea.

Sexual selection theory states that because of their lower minimum parental investment, men can achieve greater reproductive success by mating with multiple women than women can achieve by mating with multiple men.[158] Evolutionary psychologists therefore argue that ancestral men who possessed a desire for multiple short-term sex partners, to the extent that they were capable of attracting them, would have left more descendants than men without such a desire. Ancestral women, by contrast, would have maximized reproductive success not by mating with as many men as possible, but by selectively mating with those men who were most able and willing to invest resources in their offspring. Gradually in a bid to compete to get resources from potential men, women have evolved to show extended sexuality, that is, the ability and willingness to copulate despite being infertile. Like a number of other primates, humans do engage in non-procreative sexual intercourse in different ways and can do so multiple times per day without conceiving offspring. According to anthropologists and psychologists, the reasons why people have sex other than reproduction are to signal affection, to provide pain relief and comfort, to authenticate a romantic relationship, to derive economic or political benefits, to engage in athletic activity, to offer and receive pleasure, or to cure boredom. Unlike other species, it is even possible for a human couple to copulate while the woman is pregnant.[78]: 255–6 Indeed, (anonymized) Internet search data shows that people around the world are interested in or curious about having sexual intercourse during pregnancy.[159]: 188–90

Men as a group have a stronger desire for casual sex than women.[160] It makes evolutionary sense for men to want to copulate with as many female partners as possible in order to spread their genetic materials a widely as possible, thereby maximizing their reproductive success,[161] regardless of whether or not they are interested in committing to a new family.[131]: 91–2 Indeed, across cultures, men exhibit a greater openness to non-committal and uncomplicated sex;[157] a stronger desire for numerous sexual partners,[162] and an interest in earlier fornication in a relationship.[162] These sex differences have been shown to be reliable across various studies and methodologies.[163][164] Evolutionary mechanisms for short-term mating can be observed today. Mate-guarding behaviors and sexual jealousy point to an evolutionary history in which sexual relations with multiple partners was frequent.[165] Meanwhile, the general willingness of modern-day men to have sex with attractive strangers,[160] and the prevalence of extramarital affairs in similar frequencies across different cultures, are evidence of an ancestral past in which polygamous mating strategies were adopted.[166]

Despite having to bear the costs of pregnancy, childbirth, and nurturing offspring, and to face the danger of single parenthood, females do not always resist the sexual advances of males.[131]: 91 Except in cases of coercion, males could not pursue polygamy without willing female partners. Every time a man has a new sexual partner, so does a woman. It is plausible, therefore, that casual sex and numerous sexual partners may also confer some benefit to females. That is, they would produce more genetically diverse offspring as a result, which would increase their chances of successfully rearing children to adolescence, or independence.[161] Provided that her adultery is not caught, an ancestral woman who mates with men other than other main partner could benefit from having a protector and a provider, as well as a younger and healthier source of genetic materials for her offspring. But if her partner were a man of high status and good health, she would likely remain faithful.[131]: 92 Compared with other primates, human males do not have very large testicles, suggesting only a moderate level sperm competition during the course of human evolution. In other words, women tend to be fairly, but not entirely, faithful, which is what is observed in human societies.[131]: 24–5

Error management theory states that psychological processes should be biased to minimize costs of making incorrect judgments and decisions. Since males lean towards short-term mating, the costs of not having sexual intercourse is higher than doing so. Conversely, since females generally pursue a long-term strategy, the costs of having sexual intercourse is higher than not. Due to these different costs and benefits, males have the proclivities for overestimating female interest or desire for sex whereas females tend to underrate male commitment. However, males accurately perceive female commitment and females accurately perceive male sexual interests.[167]

By comparing the actual numbers of condoms sold each year, the percentage of women of child-bearing age using contraception, and the number of new pregnancies in the United States, data scientist Seth Stephens-Davidowitz came to the conclusion that self-reports tend to overestimate how often people were engaging in sexual intercourse.[159]: 122 He also found that according to Google search data, it may be more frequent for boyfriends or husbands to withhold sex from their girlfriends or wives than commonly realized.[159]: 123 Indeed, one of the top complaints about marriages or romantic relationships is the lack or low frequency of sex.[159]: 5–6

#### Mate retention

Mars abandoning Venus (circa 1820) by William Etty. Mate retention is a recurring adaptive problem.

After attracting and acquiring mates, humans need to retain their mates over a certain period of time, especially in long-term monogamous relationships.[168] Feelings of love motivate individuals to stay with their current partners and forego from alternatives.[169] Proclamations of love and commitment increase the level of oxytocin, a hormone associated with social bonding and love, in the bloodstream.[170]

Nevertheless, remaining a bonded pair can be difficult, especially in the presence of alternative mates. In the presence of desirable alternatives, humans tend to view their current relationships less favorably.[171] Yet there are psychological counter-measures to these processes. First, individuals in a committed relationship tend to devalue alternative mate options, thus finding them less attractive.[172] Second, humans do not always consider potential alternatives. Instead they pay less attention to alternative mates and therefore do not undergo the devaluation process.[173] These mechanisms tend to happen unconsciously and help them maintain their current relationships.

There are several strategies that an individual can do to retain their mate, especially if their mate is of high value.[168] Males undertake resource displays and females enhance their physical appearance.[174] From an evolutionary perspective, jealousy is a cognitive adaptation to deal with the possibility of mate loss, motivating an individual to take actions in order keep their current mate.[175] But there are sex differences on what make humans jealous.[176] Since males have issues confirming parental certainty, something that does not happen to females, they become more jealous than females for sexual cheating. Indeed, the majority of adult women who fall victim to felonious homicide were murdered by their husbands or boyfriends, with the most frequent reason being real or suspected infidelity.[152]: 16 Females, on the other hand, have historically needed male resources for offspring investment. Therefore, females are more concerned with emotional cheating, as it threatens the devotion of resources to them and their offspring. As previous mentioned, sexual intercourse can facilitate pair-bonding.[78]: 255–6 However, females tend to be more sexually generous than males. For example, Internet search data reveals that women are twice more likely to look up how to please their partners with their mouths than men. By contrast, men are equally interested in performing oral sex on their partners and on themselves.[159]: 127–8

In feudal China, a highly patriarchal society, men (and their parents) bound the feet of their wives to prevent them from fleeing. Even songs and poems in Nüshu (literally "women's script"), used by Yao and Miao women in Hunan Province, taught women to endure, obey, be loyal to their father-in-laws and their husbands.[177]

As previously mentioned, human genitals have not evolved to be sexual displays or signals, unlike in other animals. In the case of a male penis, however, while its length helps it deposit sperm further up the vagina, its width increases the friction with the vaginal walls, sexually arousing and pleasing the woman. In consequence, it enhances the coital experience and strengthens the emotional bond between man and woman.[131]: 24

In a typical romantic relationship, the man is more dependent on his partner for emotional support than the woman, whose friends and family can provide what she needs, a consequence of societal norms of masculinity, which dictate that man should limit the public display of his emotions. Women may focus on fulfilling the emotional needs of their socially isolated male partners in order to maintain household harmony, though at the cost of jeopardizing their own mental health, social relationships, and personal autonomy.[178]

Small but thoughtful gestures of affection may be employed by both sexes to demonstrate commitment and understanding.[179] Empirical data indicates that relationships with a relatively large age gap, despite popular conception, can be just as long-lasting and happy as those with smaller ones.[180] As of the mid-2020s, the average age gap was 2.2 years in North America, with the men being older, 2.7 in Europe, 4 in the Asia-Pacific region, and 8.6 in sub-Saharan Africa, the highest in the world. The global average age gap was 4.2.[180]

#### Intrasexual competition

Girls and women use social exclusion as a tool of intrasexual competition for mates.

For both sexes, high social status and ample access to resources are important for evolutionary success. But each sex has its own strategies for competing against members of the same sex. To safeguard their genetic interests, girls and women tend to form alliances with kin, affines (in-laws), and a few select female friends. Instead of direct competition, females tend to disguise their efforts to outclass their competitors in order to avoid physical harm and violence unless they are already of high status, in which case they can rely on greater protection and greater access to resources. Other strategies include enforcing equality within a social clique in order to minimize competition and excluding other females—that is, potential competitors—from one's social circles.[181]

#### Abuse and violence

As a society becomes more urbanized, that is, as population density increases, incidents of internecine violence become more common. Within a household or a romantic relationship, men are much more likely to physically assault or even murder women than the other way around. Pregnant women are even more likely to be beaten by their husbands or boyfriends. Battery is in fact a leading cause of injuries for women. Cases of domestic violence are often the result of (long-term) revenge, including redirected aggression. Men who beat their wives or girlfriends were likely beaten as children. Battered women, in turns, may beat their own children.[131]: 194–5 The risk of homicide is markedly higher if the men is at least 16 years older than the woman, or if the women is at least 10 years older than the man, though cases of such large age gaps are rare.[180] Despite the rising economic independence of women in modern countries, men's attitudes have not changed. Men who earn less than their wives or girlfriends are more inclined to verbally or physically abuse them, and such relationships are more likely to dissolve, though not necessarily among younger generations, who tend to hold more egalitarian views.[182]

As previously mentioned, this sex difference in proclivities towards violence is, according to evolutionary psychologists, a consequence of paternal uncertainty.[152]: 16 Furthermore, whenever the males of a human species monopolize the females of another, their sexual interactions are likely coercive, as was the case between Neanderthal males and Homo sapiens females, who, according to genetic evidence, preferentially mated with another.[183]

### Individual differences

#### Sociosexual Orientation Inventory

Just as there are differences between the sexes in mating strategies, there are differences within the sexes and such within-sex variation is substantial.[184] Individual differences in mating strategies are commonly measured using the Sociosexual Orientation Inventory (SOI), a questionnaire that includes items assessing past sexual behavior, anticipated future sexual behavior, and openness to casual sex.[185] Higher scores on the SOI indicate a sexually unrestricted mating strategy, which indicates an openness to casual sex and more partners. Conversely, lower scores on the SOI indicate a sexually restricted mating strategy, which a focus on higher commitment and fewer partners.

Several studies have found that scores on the SOI are related to mate preferences, with more sexually restricted individuals preferring personal/parenting qualities in a mate (e.g. responsibility and loyalty), and with less sexual restricted individual preferring qualities related to physical attractiveness and social visibility.[186] Other studies have shown that SOI scores are related to personality traits (i.e. extraversion, erotophilia, and low agreeableness),[187] conspicuous consumption in men as a means to attract women,[188] and increased allocation of visual attention to attractive opposite-sex faces.[189]

#### Short-term vs. long-term mating

Evolutionary psychologists have proposed that individuals adopt conditional mating strategies in which they adjust their mating tactics to relevant environmental or internal conditions, which is called strategic pluralism.[184] The concept of sexual pluralism states that humans do not pursue the same mating strategy all of the time. There are different motivations and environmental influences that determine the mating strategy which a person will adopt. The long-term and short-term mating behaviors are triggered in the individual by the current strategy being pursued.[106] Therefore, not only are there differences between the sexes in long-term and short-term mating, but there are also differences within the sexes. To the extent that ancestral men were capable of pursuing short-term mating strategies with multiple women, they tend to do so. However, not every male is able to pursue this option. Additionally, even though most women pursue a long term mating strategy, some females pursue a short-term strategy.

#### Differences among males

When possible, males will typically pursue a short-term mating strategy.[5] The ability to do this depends upon their mate value, so males with a high mate value are more likely to pursue a short-term mating strategy.[190] High mate value males have been shown to have sexual intercourse earlier and more often than low mate value males. Self-esteem and physical attractiveness have been shown to be related to male pursuing a short term mating strategy.[191] Additionally, males with more testosterone have been shown to pursue more short-term strategies.[192]

However, not all males pursue a short-term mating strategy. There are several reasons for this. First, long-term mating has its own advantages that have already been discussed. Second, while males of higher mate value and status have opportunities to pursue short-term mates, low mate value males typically do not have the same opportunities. Since females generally prefer long-term mating strategies, the few who would mate in the short-term are already paired with the high mate value males. Additionally, the benefits of short-term mating for females are only obtained through high mate value males. Therefore, low status males are more likely to pursue long-term mating strategy.

#### Differences among females

While more attractive males tend to pursue a short-term mating strategy, more attractive females tend to pursue a more long-term mating strategy. Additionally, younger females are more likely to pursue a short-term mating strategy, as well as those who are not satisfied with their current partner.[193]

The ovulatory cycle has been shown to influence a female's mating strategy. In the late follicular phase, women are the most fertile in the ovulatory cycle.[194] During this time, there is evidence that females tend to pursue a short-term oriented mating strategy over a long-term one.[195][196] Additionally, female sexual desires increase as well as their attraction towards more masculine males.[5]

Additionally, female mating strategies can change across their lifetime. In their early thirties, females experience a peak in sexual desire.[197] In turn, this increase influences females to pursue a more long or short term oriented strategy depending on the mate value of their current partner.[198]

#### Mating plasticity

Research on the conditional nature of mating strategies has revealed that long-term and short-term mating preferences can be fairly plastic. Following exposure to cues that would have been affected mating in the ancestral past, both men and women appear to adjust their mating preferences in ways that would have historically enhanced their fitness. Such cues include the need to care for young, danger from animals and other humans, and resource availability.[199] Additionally, there is evidence that the female sex drive is more plastic than male sex drive, because they are the selecting sex.[200] Since females typically chose when and with whom to engage in sex, this sex drive plasticity could be an effect of female mate choice.

### Alternatives to opposite-sex pair-bonding

#### Asexuality, aromanticism, and celibacy

While the general lack of sexual attraction—asexuality—has traditionally been viewed as a problem to be rectified, research since the 2010s has cast doubt upon this view. Research on how asexual individuals forge social relationships, including romantic ones, is ongoing.[201]

The Catholic Church has traditionally demanded a vow of celibacy from nuns and priests. Nuns may be formally married to Jesus Christ by ritual and may engage in various nurturing activities as they would in an ordinary household. Priests, on the other hand, may not marry and must abstain from sexual intercourse. However, many priests have left the Church in order to get married and many of those who remain fail to maintain their vows. Some have even been caught in scandals involving sexual misconduct, including pedophilia.[131]: 117–20

#### Homosexuality

A (Vietnamese) gay couple at their wedding ceremony in Canada (2006)

In the medieval Europe, homosexuality was deemed unacceptable, even a crime punishable by death.[202] However, by the late eighteen and nineteenth centuries, in the Great Britain, the severity of penalties for homosexuality was dramatically reduced.[131]: 121 In Western countries in the twenty-first century, homosexuality is no longer considered a crime, partly as a consequence of growing acceptance of the notion of the right to privacy.[202] In many jurisdictions today, a homosexual couple may choose to get married, in which case they would receive the same benefits as their heterosexual counterparts, including social security, pensions, discounted membership fees, medical decision-making, among others.[131]: 120

#### Platonic relationships and friendships

In a given society, whether it is feasible for men and women to be in a purely Platonic relationship or friendship depends upon the level of gender equality in said society, as measured in terms of female workforce participation, how common it is for girls to be married off to older men, how the law treats women in the context of inheritance and private properties, and whether rape, of which most victims are girls and women, is considered a property crime against men, among other factors.[203] As sociologist Alice Evans explains, "Where men's honor depends on women's seclusion, cross-gender friendships are rare."[203] In Turkey, due to the influence of conservative Muslims, opposite-sex friendships are deemed immoral because they are viewed as a slippery slope to adultery. In Nigeria, on the other hand, where women's participation in the labor force is almost on par with men, such friendships are ubiquitous, at least on Facebook.[203]

#### Polygamy

File:A Zulu and his wives, South Africa LCCN2017657661.tif

A polygamous Zulu warrior and his wives, 1890.

World map of the legality of polygamy (as of 2019).

Polygamy is only legal for Muslims

Polygamy is legal

Polygamy is illegal, but practice is not criminalised

Polygamy is illegal and practice criminalised

Legal status unknown

Culture also has a link to mating strategies in the form of marriage systems in the society. Specifically, pathogens have been linked to whether a society is more likely to have polygynous or monogamous marriage systems. Cultures with high pathogen stress are more likely to have polygynous marriage systems, especially exogamous polygamy systems.[204] This is helpful for both males and females, as males obtain greater genetic diversity for their offspring and females have access to healthy males, which are typically lacking in high pathogen societies.[4] Conversely, monogamy is often absent from high pathogen environments, but common in low pathogen environments.[205]

Polygamy takes two forms, polygyny (a husband having multiple wives) and polyandry (a wife having multiple husbands).[131]: 103 In some historical and current societies, it is permissible to have more than one mate at any one time, and this may be justified by religion. In the Old Testament, men with the highest status had the largest numbers of mates.[206] Islam permits polygyny—a Muslim may marry up to four women—partly because Islamic societies historically faced high mortality rates among males due to frequent interpersonal violence, including and up to warfare. This serves as a form of social welfare for women, because, according to Islamic tradition, they may not pursue their own careers or to be without a male guardian.[131]: 111–2 The Topkapi Palace, located in what is now Istanbul, Turkey, was home to a harem during the time of the Ottoman Empire. Women of the harem were isolated from the outside world but enjoyed a life of luxury. Court intrigue, sometimes with deadly consequences, were common, however.[131]: 104 Indeed, polygamous societies tend to be more unstable than monogamous ones, as men of high status in such a society tend to have more children, who may well aspire for positions of power and influence even though their sociopolitical structure may not be able to accommodate them, a phenomenon known as elite overproduction.[207]

While polygyny can be found in many different societies, polyandry is much rarer. One polyandrous society is the Toda people in Southern India. However, the co-husbands of a woman are always brothers. In such a union, all brothers have sexual access to their shared wife and the paternity of the children born is decided by ritual.[131]: 112–3

#### Prostitution

Regardless of its legality and social acceptability, prostitution exists across different times and cultures. In ancient Greece and Rome, prostitution was not only legal but also seen as a social good for preserving the family. It was thought to be an outlet for the sex drive of unmarried men, lest they seduce married women, and for married men, who might have felt unsatisfied in the bedroom despite being otherwise happy with family life. Of the former group, the Roman poet Horace wrote, "As soon as desire brings the blood in the veins of young men to a boiling point, it is right and just that they should go this way and not seduce respectable married women." In the ancient Mediterranean port city of Ephesus (now part of Turkey), there once existed a large brothel in its central area.[131]: 97–101

#### Solitary sex

Masturbation is a behavior found across the animal kingdom, including humans.[208] A person having sex in isolation can avoid commitment, relationship troubles, as well as venereal diseases. Due to rising demand, sex toys of a variety of shapes and sizes have become common in the Western world since the late twentieth century. Masturbation can be done with the aid of pornographic videos and magazines. Today, people may also have sexual intercourse with one another remotely via the Internet.[131]: 122–24

## Effects of modernity

During pre-industrial era, people most commonly married those living nearby, partly because meeting someone far away was not feasible given the transportation and communication technologies of the time. But the Industrial Revolution and various changes in politics and culture have led people to think more about their own personal choices. Women's growing workforce participation in modern industrial economies is one of the key factors responsible for how modern mating is different from the past.[103] In Germany, for instance, teenage boys who have girls as friends tend to have more egalitarian views, possibly because they wish to one day have a romantic relationship with them. Girls, by contrast, do not generally change their expectation of equal treatment and are unlikely to want to give up on their career dreams just to please the boys.[203]

During times of economic distress, women would be highly reluctant to commit to low-status men in long-term relationships and men would be delaying marriage, if they ever get married at all, in order to accumulate enough resources to attract attention. Consequently, both marriage and birth rates would drop.[209] During the early twenty-first century, young adults around the world are much more likely to be romantically unattached, either by choice or circumstance, than older generations, and the decline is steepest among the poor.[210] At the regional level, East Asia, the Middle East, North Africa, and Latin America saw the greatest drops compared to the 2000s.[210]

A Girl Defending Herself against Eros (1880) by William-Adolphe Bouguereau. People today are increasingly choosing to remain romantically unattached.

Historically, marriage was the best option to gain independence from one's parents, and people generally married early in life and after short periods of courtship. But this is no longer true in a modern society, where people are more independent from their parents and are willing to wait longer to find an ideal mate (a "soulmate").[211] Consequently, the average age at first marriage has increased,[211] while many individuals are choosing to remain single.[212] In the Scandinavian countries, single-person households have become commonplace.[213] In East Asia, urban and highly educated women are wary of the high opportunity cost of marriage in their patriarchal societies; they may have to give up on their careers and incomes to take care of their in-laws, parents, children, and do housework.[182] People value their independence more than in the past.[214] Furthermore, in a country where few children are born out of wedlock like Japan, those who are uninterested in having children tend to not get married.[215]

Some sex differences in mate preferences may be attenuated by national levels of gender equity and gender empowerment.[216][217] For example, as women gain more access to resources their mate preferences change.[218] While in the past, women typically need to get married in order to ensure their own financial security, modern women are more likely to be able to achieve this on their own and as such are in a position to set high standards for potential mates.[212][219] Finding a mate with access to material resources becomes less of a priority compared to finding someone with domestic skills and who can provide emotional support.[220][212] For this reason, female physical attractiveness and male access to resources can be labeled as "necessities" while other qualities, as such as humor, can be categorized as "luxuries" in finding a mate.[221] Nevertheless, instincts that evolved during the Pleistocene persist, and humans will continue to look for traits associated with good health and fertility in a mate, regardless of the era of history they live in or whether they wish to have children.[127]: 242

Since the late twentieth century, marriages across the developed world have become unstable. Divorces have become much more common while people increasingly choose to remain single.[222][223] In addition, as a culture becomes more individualistic, public support for traditional gender roles declines.[224] Marriage becomes increasingly viewed as an option, rather than an obligation,[224] and people are more open about the challenges of remaining married.[225] In fact, since the 1960s, marriage has stopped being primarily focused on having and raising children but instead, the fulfillment of adults.[226] Unmarried women were no longer considered "sick" or "immoral" the way they were in the past. In addition, neither working mothers nor single parenthood (what used to be called illegitimacy) was socially ostracized the way they used to be, at least in the Western world.[224] For instance, almost three fifths of children born in France in 2015 did not have married parents.[100] But while marriage rates have declined, the prevalence of cohabitation (formerly referred to as "living in sin") has gone up.[131]: 159 Cohabitation may help determine suitability of a mate before marriage.[39] At the same time, significant numbers deem marriage to be an outdated institution that reinforces the subjugation of women[131]: 159 and deem it unnecessary for a fulfilling or happy life, though they may remain open to that option.[227] But among those who choose to get married in the modern era, it is common to ignore various customs that signify the subordinate role of the woman. For example, in contemporary North America, wedding ceremonies tend to emphasize gender equality; the bride is no longer "given away" by her father.[131]: 158–9 Modern Western couples typically treat their wedding ceremonies as special and romantic occasions, a celebration of love and commitment between two individuals.[100] Western couples with higher levels of education and wealth tend to marry later, after choosing their mates carefully, and have more durable marriages; divorces are more common among the lower classes of society.[100]

Technological change has rendered traditional domestic skills less important in a potential mate.

Meanwhile, married men have become noticeably less willing to disrupt the careers of their wives.[223] Whereas in the past women had typically looked for men of high social status while men had not, by the late twentieth-century, men also looked for women of high earning potential, resulting in an even more pronounced educational and economic assortative mating. More generally, higher rates of university attendance and workforce participation by women affects the marital expectations of both sexes in that both men and women became more symmetrical in what they desired in a mate. The share of marriages in which both spouses were of the same educational level steadily rose.[33] Moreover, it was no longer possible for a couple with one spouse having no more than a high-school diploma to earn about the national average; on the other hand, couples both of whom have at least a bachelor's degree could expect to make a significant amount above the national average. People thus have a clear economic incentive to seek out a mate with at least as high a level of education in order to maximize their potential income. A societal outcome of this was that as household gender equality improved because women had more choices, income inequality widened.[44] Part of the reason why people increasingly married their socioeconomic and educational peers was technological change. Innovations that became commercially available in the twentieth century, such as the refrigerator or the washing machine, reduced the amount of time people needed to spend on housework, which diminished the importance of domestic skills.[37]

By the twenty-first century, young women in industrialized nations are more likely than young men to have tertiary education.[214] In some countries, such as the United Kingdom, they even have higher employment rates and higher incomes;[55][228] a growing number do not see a need for pairing up.[227][55] As sociologist Philip Cohen explains, "It's an advantage to not need to be married, in terms of economics or social pressure. People can improve their career status and happiness on their own terms, and they can set the terms for potential mates in the future."[212] A number of young adults are looking at artificially intelligent companions as alternatives to real-life people,[213] a form of parasocial bonding.[229]

Classic sexual positions, such as the missionary, shown here in an ancient Greek artwork (circa 470 B.C.), remain popular in the modern era.

In the modern era, the availability of reliable contraception, contragestation (colloquially "Plan B" or the "morning after pill"), and the legalization of abortion have severed the tie between sexual intercourse and reproduction, effectively making women equal to men, at least in the context of dealing with the biological consequences of a sexual encounter.[230][131]: 206–8 The modern concept of privacy has played a role in the legal arguments in favor of these measures.[202] Since the late twentieth century, young adults have been seeking sterilization procedures (vasectomies for men and tubal ligations for women) in growing numbers; some even do so as soon as they reach the age of majority.[131]: 189 On the other hand, classic sexual positions—the missionary, doggy, and cowgirl styles—remain popular even among couples in the modern era.[231]

Access to the combined oral contraceptive pill has been found to change a woman's taste in men. Women not on the pill tend to prefer men whose major histocompatibility complex (MHC) genes is different from their own, whereas those on the pill tend to find men with similar MHC genes more attractive.[232]

By the early twenty-first century, trends first observed in the Western world are now also seen in developing countries, though the pace of social change tends to be slower. For example, Asian couples who normally obey their parents nevertheless insist on their future spouses being compatible with them.[100]

## Impact of and on culture

### Adolescent behavior

For females, late adolescence is a crucial period in determining their reproductive success.

From the neurological perspective, the well-known tendencies of teenagers to be emotional, impulsive, and to take high risks are due to the fact that the limbic system (responsible for emotional thought) is developing faster than the prefrontal cortex (logical reasoning).[233] From the evolutionary viewpoint, this mismatch is adaptive in that it helps young people connect with other people (by being emotional) and learn to negotiate the complexities of life (by taking risks yet being more sensitive to rewards).[233][234][235] As a result, teenagers are more prone to feelings of fear, anxiety, and depression than adults.[235] In order to attract potential mates, males are especially prone to take risks and showcase their athleticism[234] whereas females tend to direct attention to their beauty.[53] In the context of mating, this group of humans is especially prone to having unwanted pregnancies and venereal diseases.[236]

Young males (who have the highest reproductive variance) take more risks than any other group in both experiments and observations.[237][238][239] By undertaking risky endeavors, males are thought to signal the qualities which may be directly related to one's ability to provision and protect one's family,[240] namely, physical skill, good judgment, or bravery.[237][240] Social dominance, confidence, and ambition could help in competition among other males, while social dominance, ambition, and wealth might alleviate the costs of failure.[238] In addition, traits like bravery and physical prowess may also be valued by cooperative partners due to their benefits in group-hunting and warfare, thereby increasing the potential audience for risk takers.[240] The tendency of adolescent and young-adult males to engage in risky and aggressive behaviors is known as the 'young male syndrome'. His self-worth is tied to being perceived as a 'real man'. His likelihood of committing or falling victim to a violent crime peaks between his late teens and late twenties.[241]

Young females, on the other hand, are under strong peer pressure to be physically attractive, potentially leading to problems with their body image.[242] A teenage girl or young woman's bond with her first sexual partner is often deep. In both sexes, intense adolescent intrasexual competition, amorous infatuations, and sexual experimentation are common.[243] Those who have been well-treated by parents of the opposite sex often (unconsciously) use said parents as model for what a desirable mate ought to be.[78]: 301 (See sexual imprinting.)

Psychological research indicates the existence of a "reminiscence bump" between the ages of 10 and 30, a period important in human development, when people receive a substantial amount of feedback on their social status and reproductive desirability.[53] Due to sex differences in mating strategies, it is more difficult for a female to alter the course of her reproductive career than it is more a male. In fact, females not only mature more quickly but also were historically more likely than males to marry and bear their first children before the age of 20. As a consequence, by late adolescence, it is, from the perspective of evolution, crucial that a girl finds herself a high-quality mate.[181]

Whereas ancestral humans lived in small bands of related people of all ages, modern secondary school students share the same social environment as people from the same age groups from diverse backgrounds, an evolutionary novelty. Back then, social competition during adolescence proved crucial to future social and reproductive success, hence the strong desire to be popular. Today, it is possible for people to relocate to a different place or transfer to another school. Still, the curiosity about how the lives of others for the sake of comparison remains. Teenagers are also quite conformist with regards to their peers, for under ancestral condition, social ostracism was generally deadly.[53] In 21st-century society, youths who rebel against the dominant culture or figures of authority tend become more homogeneous with respect to their own subculture, making their behavior the opposite to any claims of counterculture. This synchronization occurs even if more than two choices are available, such as multiple styles of beard rather than whether or not to have a beard. Mathematician Jonathan Touboul who studies how information propagation through society affects human behavior calls this the hipster effect.[244][245]

Youngsters who have a stressful childhood environment, due to, for instance, parental abuse or having divorced parents, tend to reach puberty early. It has been hypothesized that such early experiences prompts the body to mature quickly for the sake of early reproduction.[246] In the United States, for example, girls raised by single parents have higher than average rates of teenage pregnancy.[80]: 10

### Cultural traditions and popular culture

An illustration from the Kama Sutra, published in India in the 3rd century A.D.

It remains unclear how culture modulates sex differences in mate choice.[220][247] Cultural variations in mate preference can be due to the evolved sex differences in a given culture. Since physical attractiveness is thought to signal health and disease resistance, evolutionary psychologists have predicted that, in societies high in pathogen prevalence, people value attractiveness more in a mate, and cross-cultural data substantiates this claim.[248] Women in nations with high pathogen prevalence also show greater preferences for facial masculinity.[249] Furthermore, since sexual contact with multiple individuals increases the risk of disease transmission, thereby increasing the costs of pursuing a short-term mating strategy, higher pathogen prevalence is associated with lower national SOI scores.[250] Finally, several studies have found that experimentally manipulating disease salience has a causal influence on attractiveness preferences and SOI scores in predicted directions.[251][252][253]

For millennia, books have been written to share advice on mate acquisition Such books are generally products of their historical eras and societies. Most of them, however, have been aimed at men, who, as a group, are less socially adept than women.[254] But boredom can pose a threat to pair bonding. In response, many cultures have produced sex manuals over the centuries to help their married couples remain happily together. Such manuals feature a great variety of novel sexual positions that a couple may try together. One example of such a book is the Kama Sutra, written in India in the third century A.D. Unusual for its time, the Kama Sutra acknowledges female pleasure and agency.[131]: 93–6

Upper-class families in the West traditionally arrange for their children to attend debutante balls—such as this one from New South Wales, Australia—to ensure that they meet potential matches from the same background.

As children come of age, their parents and communities may organize social events to commemorate this important benchmark in their lives. In Latin America and parts of the United States with sizeable Hispanic communities, such as Houston, Texas, girls traditionally participate in the Quinceañera when they reach 15 years of age; this Catholic tradition affirms that they have become women and a commitment to chastity before marriage.[131]: 137–8 In the West, the upper class may arrange for their children to attend exclusives dances, such as a debutante ball, in order to ensure that they would meet potential mates who share the same background.[131]: 85 In the United States, a formal dance party for high-school students known as prom has its origins in the debutante ball. Prom may treated as a milestone event, similar to a wedding, in which the participants were taking an important step into a new stage in their lives.[255]: 7–10

Different cultures seek to emphasize a woman's physical beauty in different ways, so much so that in some cases, what is considered normal in one society may seem excessive in another. Among the Surma and Mursi tribes of Ethiopia, a young woman's attractiveness is determined by the size of the lip plate she can put on; the larger the plate, the higher the bride price, measured in terms of cattle, her family can demand.[131]: 41 For the Padaung people of Myanmar, women who can wear a large number of brass neck rings, up to 32, are beautiful.[131]: 44 In ancient China, the custom was to emphasize and exaggerate the smallness of female feet; the practice of foot binding, banned since the early twentieth century, began in childhood and was quite painful. But the view then was that women with such small feet—dubbed the "Golden Lotus"—were not only sexually attractive but also of high status, for only peasants had larger feet, or "duck feet" as they were pejoratively known. (The story of Cinderella originally came from China.) A similar trend today is the high-heel shoe, a Western invention, which also limits the mobility of the wearer.[131]: 45 High heels also make a woman appear taller, to have a raised backside (reminiscent of mammalian lordosis, a sign of sexual receptivity), and look perkier (a sign of youth).[152]: 82 Belly dancing, a tradition from the Middle East, draws the viewers' attention to the width of the woman's hips.[131]: 46–7 Cheerleading, first introduced in the United States, highlights the sexual appeal of teenage girls and young women with routines that demonstrate their youth and vigor, but are not sexually provocative like the movements of pole dancers, or physically strenuous like those of professional athletes.[131]: 59

Nevertheless, in all cultures, parents usually uphold a stricter dress code for their daughters than their sons, a phenomenon that can be explained by the parental investment theory.[152]: 113–4 Similarly, there is traditionally a greater emphasis on chastity and virginity for females than for males as a consequence of parental uncertainty, a recurring problem for the latter.[131]: 77

Cheerleaders—seen here at a soccer match in Monterrey, Mexico—direct attention to their physical beauty but without being too provocative.

Since social status is of great importance in terms of mate value for males, different cultures around the world have developed various traditions for men and boys to cultivate and display their status. Individuals and societies of lower status typically copy those of higher status. In the ancient eastern Mediterranean, for instance, the Jews and Arabs copied the tradition of male circumcision from the more affluent Egyptians.[131]: 58–9

As already mentioned, in humans, female breasts have partly been a consequence of sexual selection. Hence, concealing them—by clothing or hand bra, say—means attenuating a potent sexual signal.[131]: 26 Different cultures have vastly different views on female toplessness. It is considered normal or acceptable in certain tribal or traditional societies, such as the Aboriginals of Australia,[256] deemed indecent in others, such as the former Soviet Union.[257] In the modern Western world, attitudes towards public nudity, including of women, have relaxed, something seen in clothing-optional or nude beaches and other recreational locations.[258] However, sexuality activities may be illegal, even in these places.[259] For instance, at the naked parties organized at certain institutions of higher learning in the United States, sexual contact of any kind is strictly prohibited, even though nudity is required.[260] On the other hand, there are circumstances where sexual expression is acceptable or even expected, such as the wet T-shirt contest, originally from the United States.[131]: 58–9

Evolutionary biologist Charles Darwin reported there was a universal "passion for ornament" in the peoples he had countered during his voyage aboard HMS Beagle. While icons of beauty in popular culture are frequently imitated, beauty in fact thrives on variety. As Darwin noted, "If everyone were cast in the same mold, here would be no such thing as beauty."[127]: 5 While physical beauty may be dismissed as shallow or trivial in certain contexts, it plays an important role in human decision making and motivation.[127]: 7 Sexual appeal aside, a romantically unattached person may wish to signal his or her availability. In Tahiti, it is traditional for single people to wear a flower above the right ear. Those who are already in a relationship put their flowers on the left—that is, above the heart. Married men looking for an affair might temporarily relocate the flower from the left to right. The analogous Western practice is removing the wedding band.[131]: 77

### Consumer psychology

Fashion choices, such as short or minidresses, are partly shaped by mating behavior.

According to psychologist Gad Saad, consumer behavior can only be truly understood in light of evolutionary psychology because consumer behavior "is rooted in a shared biological heritage based around four key Darwinian factors: survival, reproduction, kin selection, and reciprocal altruism."[261][262] Consequently, products that can manipulate or enhance a person's body odor (perfumes and deodorants) and looks (cosmetics and plastic surgeries) are profitable businesses.[151] While trends may be ephemeral, certain evolved universal tendencies persist, and these are exploited by the fashion, cosmetics, and plastic surgery industries.[127]: 4 Sophisticated cosmetics have been used since antiquity, with some of the earliest known examples being found in Egypt.[131]: 57 In Brazil at the end of the twentieth century, for instance, there were more people selling Avon cosmetics than there were members of the armed forces. Similarly, in the United States, more money was spent on cosmetics and plastic surgeries than on education or social services.[127]: 6 By the mid-2020s, the global cosmetics industry was worth well over US$400 billion.[263] Even women with "natural beauty" actually spend considerable amounts of time and money on makeup.[127]: 13 Psychiatrist Peter Kramer calls cosmetic surgery a form of psychopharmacology because it can help people feel better about themselves.[127]: 20

As mentioned in the previous section, many women wear high-heel shoes in order to accentuate their beauty.

One way to signal one's socioeconomic status is conspicuous consumption, or when individuals purchase luxurious items which provide little to no utility over less costly versions,[264] thereby prioritizing self-promotion over economic sense.[188] For instance, in France, the hoarding of flour for cosmetic purposes was a common practice, even during times of food shortages, up until the French Revolution.[127]: 6 It is a common behavior of class and often involves strategic planning to maximize the audience of the display and the strength of the signal.[265] Most signaling explanations of conspicuous consumption predict the targets of the signal will predominately be potential mates.[188][266] Among males, the information signaled is thought to go beyond genetic quality and signal the potential for investment, which can be attractive to those seeking both long-term and short-term mating strategies.[188] Among females, a suggested to benefit from conspicuous consumption in mating contexts is its hypothesized ability to demonstrate the commitment of one's partner[267] and signal one's mate quality to rivals,[268] both of which may help in intrasexual competition and deter mate poaching.[268] However, the cost of a gift is not the only determinant of commitment. Women often prefer courtship gifts that are unique and thoughtful.[152]: 78

Models are thought to be sexy because they are taller, thinner, and curvier than the average woman, but still heavier than anorexics.

In cases where food shortages are frequent, weight is a sign of status. But in a society of abundance, dietary restraints, especially an among women, becomes prevalent, as upwardly mobile women, those who "marry up" the social ladder, tend to be thinner than average as they are willing and able to avoid junk food.[127]: 200–1 However, while supermodels and glamour models are taller and thinner than average women, they are also heavier than anorexics. They also tend to be more curvaceous, as indicated by their waist-to-hip-ratios of around 0.7, which men consider attractive. Although women go on a diet in order to make their bodies more attractive, this strategy does not help because their body shapes are not as curvy as those of models.[269]

Conspicuous consumption may also be useful for problems outside of acquiring mates. This can involve attempts at attracting other cooperative partners, who stand to gain from the signalers ability to confer benefits should they form an alliance.[265][270] As in mating contexts, there may also be benefits to intimidating rivals, thereby decreasing the likelihood of direct competition for resources in the future.[268] Its prevalence across cultures and social classes suggests that humans may be well suited to balancing the costs and benefits of the signal.[264][266]

The notion that "sex sells" is now commonly accepted and utilized by advertisers.[271][272] Nevertheless, some cultures (such as France) are more receptive to sex in advertising than others (such as South Korea).[273][274]

### Sensational journalism and gossip

Sharing the News (1904) by Eugene von Blaas. Sensational news may serve the same purpose as gossip.

Despite common objections, sensational news stories continue to attract a large audience. A 2003 analysis of 736 stories from 1700 to 2001 by Hank Davis and S. Lyndsay McLeod reveals that these stories could be categorized according themes with reproductive value, such as cheater detection and treatment of offspring. Davis and McLeod therefore propose that sensational journalism serves the same purpose as gossip.[275] Furthermore, much gossip concerns social affairs.[276] It is the sharing of both positive and negative information about a third person who may or may not be absent from the group, and as such is useful for acquiring potentially useful information about the social structure, rivals, as well as allies. It may also be used for the purposes of intrasexual competition, or the denigration of rivals in order to elevate oneself, with men gossiping about access to resources (wealth and achievement) and women about looks and reputations. However, women appear to be more likely to gossip than men and to think of it more positively than men.[277][278] Teenage girls are particularly vulnerable to malicious gossip or false rumors as a form of intrasexual competition for mates.[152]: 165

According to Frank T. McAndrew, the same psychological reasons that underlie more traditional forms gossip carry over to gossip about "celebrities" in the modern world because, on the evolutionary timescale, the birth of celebrity culture is a recent phenomenon.[279] Nevertheless, as Bertrand Russell observed, "No one gossips about other people's secret virtues, but only about their secret vices." Some of main themes of gossip include sexual transgression (such as infidelity or promiscuity) and sexual dysfunction.[152]: 165 Sociologists initially coined the term "parasocial" in 1956 to describe (one-sided) relationships people form with fictional characters on television, treating them as close friends or confidants, family members, or even lovers. In the twenty-first century, this term has been generalized to celebrity culture in general, as well as social media and artificially intelligent chatbots.[229]

### Romantic novels, fan fiction, and pornography

As defined by the Romance Writers of America, a romantic novel features "a central love story and an emotionally satisfying and optimistic ending."[280] Many also carry erotic undertones,[280] or are themselves erotica.[152]: 68 According to the same organization, only a minority of those who read this genre are male.[281] Indeed, evolutionary psychologists have gained valuable insights into women's mate choice by studying romance novels popular among women, such as those sold by Harlequin.[282] Popular contemporary female romance novels conform to strategies common among women, for example by avoiding short-term relationships, and as such pertain to their genetic interests.[283] Five of the most common words in such novels are, in order of decreasing frequency, love, bride, baby, man, and marriage; while the most common themes are commitment, reproduction, high-value—i.e. masculine—males, and resources.[283][284] Romantic novels sell rather well, with around 10,000 new titles appearing each year in the U.S. alone.[280] Romance is also one of the key themes in young-adult literature.[103] Furthermore, despite what people say in polite society, there is substantial interest in erotic literature featuring bondage, dominance, and sadomasochism (BDSM), as sales figures of novels such as Fifty Shades of Gray (2011) reveal.[159]: 157

Fan fiction is the online equivalent of romantic novels.[285] During the first two decades of the 21st century, writing and reading fan fiction became a prevalent activity worldwide. Demographic data from various depositories revealed that those who read and wrote fan fiction were overwhelmingly young, in their teens and twenties, and female.[286][287][288] For example, an analysis of the site fanfiction.net published in 2019 by data scientists Cecilia Aragon and Katie Davis showed that some 60 billion words of contents were added during the previous 20 years by 10 million English-speaking people whose median age was 15½ years.[288] Much of fan fiction concerns the "shipping" or romantic pairing of fictional characters of interests.[289] Fan fiction writers base their work on various internationally popular cultural phenomena such as K-pop, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Doctor Who, and My Little Pony—known as "canon"—as well as other things they considered important to their lives, like natural disasters.[286][287][288] Socially dominant men—the so-called "alpha males"—are the most popular among women.[285]

Erotic artworks—such as this sculpture from a 10th-century temple in Khajuraho, India—have been made throughout human history.

Males, by contrast, are generally more interested in pornography because it carries the same cues to female fertility they look for under mating conditions. In particular, the absolute majority of those who watch hardcore pornography are men, both straight and gay; women prefer "positive" or softcore materials instead.[152]: 247 Many new technological inventions—notably, the printing press, videotapes, cable television, and the Internet—were used to produce and distribute erotica soon after they became available, and the same thing is happening with (generative) artificial intelligence (AI) in the twenty-first century.[290] Online pornography is now ubiquitous and widely consumed. By the mid-2020s, of the 50 most visited websites, five were pornographic in nature. During the same period, the total revenue of the global pornographic industry was around US$100 billion, or twice that of AI, which was booming.[290]

In their book A Billion Wicked Thoughts (2011) analyzing search-engine results, cognitive scientists Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam wrote, "Men's brains are designed to objectify females. The shapely curves of female ornamentation indicate how many years of healthy childbearing remain across a woman's entire lifetime."[285] The top search categories included youth, breasts, cheating wives, penises, and gay;[285] mom is more commonly searched for than teens or cheerleaders.[291] Data scientist Seth Stephens-Davidowitz, who also examined search results, found that babysitter, teacher, and cheerleader were the top search terms for pornography among men of all age groups.[159]: 52 He also discovered a high level of interest in incest-themed pornographic materials featuring opposite-sex siblings as well as parents and their opposite-sex children. In particular, men who search for these videos enjoy watching mothers and sons whereas women prefer fathers and daughters.[159]: 50 But having a sexual liaison with mom commands a greater number of searches on both Google and pornographic websites than any other socially taboo relationships, including boss, employee, student, or daughter's best friend.[159]: 51 In Bangladesh and India, there is considerable interest in pornographic materials involving a woman breastfeeding her male partner, more than any other country in the world.[159]: 19

By letting her test subject watch erotic materials of various kinds—straight sex, gay sex, and bonobos—sexologist Meredith Chivers discovered an excellent agreement between the self-reported arousal of men and the amount of blood flow to their genitals. Men were only aroused by videos of straight sex. On the other hand, Chivers found a clear mismatch between the self-reports of women and what her devices measured. While women seemed easily aroused by videos of all three categories, increased blood flow alone was not enough to induce arousal, which explains why attempts to create the equivalent of Viagra for women have failed.[285] This seems to correspond with the different mating behaviors of men and women.[285] The sight of a muscular or otherwise masculine man is not enough to sexually arouse a woman; she also needs to view herself as desirable and to feel safe, comfortable, and emotionally connected.[291]

### Music, film, television, and graphic arts

Spring of Love (1917) by Franz von Stuck. While popular music is full of reproductive messaging, it remains debated whether or not musical talent is a sexually selected trait or a by-product of other evolved characteristics.

A 2011 study by Dawn R. Hobbs and Gordon G. Gallup of songs dating back over four centuries show that reproductive messaging has been a common theme among the most popular of songs. Hobbs and Gallup observe that their "content analysis of these messages revealed 18 reproductive themes that read like topics taken from an outline for a course on evolutionary psychology." An overwhelming majority (about 92%) of the songs that made it to the Billboard Top 10 in 2009 contained reproductive messages. In fact, "further analyses showed that the bestselling songs in all three charts featured significantly more reproductive messages than those that failed to make it into the Top Ten." Among contemporary English-language songs, country music tends to focus on commitment, parenting, and rejection; pop music on sex appeal, reputation, short-term strategies, and fidelity assurance; and rhythms and blues (R&B) and hip hop on sex appeal, resources, sex act, and status.[284][292]

Hobbs and Gallup classified the reproductive messaging of the songs into 18 categories, including genitalia (e.g. "Baby Got Back" (1992) by Sir Mix-A-Lot), courtship displays and long-term mating ("I Wanna Hold Your Hand" (1963) by The Beatles), short-term mating ("LoveGame" (2009) by Lady Gaga), foreplay and arousal ("Sugar, Sugar" (1969) by The Archies), sex act ("Honky Tonk Women" (1969) by the Rolling Stones), sexual prowess ("Sixty Minute Man" (1951) by Billy Ward and the Dominoes), promiscuity, reputation, and derogation ("Roxanne" (1978) by the Police), commitment and fidelity ("Love Story" (2008) by Taylor Swift), access to resources ("For the Love of Money" (1973) by the O'Jays), rejection ("Red Light" (2009) by David Nail), infidelity, cheater detection, and mate poaching ("I Heard It Through the Grapevine" (1966) by Marvin Gaye), and parenting ("It Won't Be Like This For Long" (2008) by Darius Rucker).[284]

In many developed countries today, women possess much greater economic power than in generations past, giving them the ability to become much choosier than in generations past. This trend is reflected in many contemporary songs by female musicians, such as "Manchild" (2025) by Sabrina Carpenter or "If He Wanted to He Would" (2025) by Perrie Edwards.[228]

Nevertheless, the evolutionary purpose of music, if such exists, remains unclear. Some researchers like Charles Darwin and Geoffrey Miller propose that it is a form of courtship that has evolved by means of sexual selection[284][293][294] whereas others, such as Steven Pinker and Gary Markus, reject it as "auditory cheesecake"—no more than a purely cultural invention that is a by-product of evolved traits such as cognition and language.[284][294][295] More broadly, it has been hypothesized that cognitive traits pertaining to "high culture" in general, including music, the visual arts, conversational skills, or humor, have been sexually selected for. But this claim also lacks adequate evidentiary support.[78]: 297–8

Pygmalion Praying to Venus to Animate His Statue (1786) by Jean-Baptiste Regnault. The desire for the perfect mate is found in numerous stories from ancient to modern.

A similar pattern is found in popular movies, where themes of survival (fighting epic battles), reproduction (courtship), kin selection (treatment of family members), and altruism (saving a stranger's life) are ubiquitous.[262] Indeed, as in the case with novels or mythology, the number of basic plots is rather small.[276] One such example is the love triangle, a common and, indeed, flexible dramatic device. It can be found not just in historical literature, such as the Trojan War in Greek mythology or Arthurian legend from the Middle Ages, but also in some modern television programs, like The Summer I Turned Pretty (2023–25), adapted from a novel series of the same name by Jenny Han.[296][297] However, even though the standard assumption in many movies and stories is that people are looking to get married or at least desire a long-term partner, this is not necessarily true in real life.[298] But finding—or even creating—the perfect mate, as can be seen films such as Blade Runner (1982) or Her (2013), is a plot that can be traced back to antiquity in the form of the myth of Pygmalion the sculptor from ancient Greece.[103]

Popular culture can also shape public perception of mating and matrimony. For example, the American television program Sex and the City (1998–2004), whose protagonists are single professional young women living in New York City, has made the idea of remaining unmarried more acceptable, even appealing, to Middle Eastern women.[299]

Various individuals—such as painter Albrecht Dürer, historian of art Kenneth Clark, and anthropologist Donald Symons—have recognized the universal existence of beauty ideals in the human mind. For instance, Zeuxis gathered five of the most beautiful living women in Croton as models for his painting of Helen of Troy from Greek mythology. Many famed beauties like Helen are not described in the original source materials. A modern example of a composite depiction of physical beauty is the film Flashdance (1983), in which close-up shots of the main character were not of her body. While the use of body doubles in case the main actor lacks the necessary athletic skills is nothing new, it is also common practice to match different bodies to different faces in order to create an ideal overall look.[127]: 11–2 Nevertheless, universal standards of beauty do not exist; as previously mentioned, they can change over time even within the same society or civilization.[127]: 15–8

### Online dating

In the past, using dating services, including those available via a computer, was seen as a measure of last resort, but things started to change in the late twentieth century.[131]: 85 Following the commercialization of smartphones in the late 2000s, the number of online daters has grown dramatically in Western countries.[182] Online dating services have made it much easier for those who would otherwise never meet because their social circles do not intersect (perfect strangers) to find one another and pursue a romantic relationship together.[298] They are especially useful for middle-aged individuals who have fewer options in real life, compared to those in their 20s,[298] as well as for those with highly unconventional lifestyle choices, small social circles, or extreme shyness.[94] Compared to heterosexual couples, same-sex ones are much likely to have met online.[298]

Allegory of Youth and Age (1771) by Louis-Jean-François Lagrenée. As in real life, men of high status or great wealth typically look for much younger women on online dating platforms.

Such platforms offer goldmines of information for social scientists studying human mating behavior.[300][301][302] Nevertheless, as of 2017, no new pattern has been identified; to the contrary, scientists have only found the strengthening of gender stereotypes,[303] namely the attention to a prospective mate's socioeconomic status among women,[146][300] and the preference for youth and beauty among men.[129][146] In particular, exceptionally wealthy men usually look for much younger women,.[99] while women who date online are much more picky than in real life.[94]

While ancestral humans had evolve to select mates from a relatively small community, modern online daters face a myriad of potential matches, making it difficult for them to choose. In response, they impose many arbitrary criteria such as minimum heights or professions.[94] Because online dating can be highly competitive,[182] both sexes commonly misrepresent themselves when it comes to attractive or undesirable characteristics,[304][305] such as being to short or too heavy.[182] Only a minority of online daters receive most of the matches. (See Pareto's rule.) Disclosing the number of matches received by other users was found to improve the supply and demand balance, that is, to reduce "congestion" and thus give users with lower mate value a greater chance of finding a match.[306] Social scientists have also been able to establish the existence of dating "leagues" (or hierarchies of mate value). People are unlikely to respond to suitors they deem to be less desirable than they are.[301] As sociologist Mark Newman explains, "There is a trade-off between how far up the ladder you want to reach and how low a reply rate you are willing to put up with."[307] No longer do people looking for a mate have to confine themselves to their own backgrounds, though in practice, the data still indicates assortative mating.[298]

Concerns that online dating makes people more "superficial" by giving them an incentive to judge one another based on looks are unfounded, since this is how humans normally behave. Moreover, while there are online dating sites geared towards short-term sexual relationships (hookups), others are designed to help those looking for a long-term arrangement, including marriage. Individuals who pursue the latter option are no less successful in finding the right mates.[298]

### Politics

In general, the emotion of disgust can be divided into three categories: pathogen disgust, sexual disgust, and moral disgust. Sexual disgust leads to the avoidance of individuals and behaviors that jeopardizes one's long-term mating success. Moral disgust is being repelled by socially abnormal behaviors.[308]

Some evolutionary psychologists have argued that mating strategies can influence political attitudes. According to this perspective, different mating strategies are in direct strategic conflict. For instance, the stability of long-term partnerships may be threatened by the availability of short-term sexual opportunities. Therefore, public policy measures that impose costs on casual sex may benefit people pursuing long-term mating strategies by reducing the availability of short-term mating opportunities outside of committed relationships. One public policy measure that imposes costs on people pursuing short-term mating strategies, and may thereby appeal to sexually restricted individuals, is the banning of abortion. In a doctoral dissertation, the psychologist Jason Weeden conducted statistical analyses on public and undergraduate datasets supporting the hypothesis that attitudes towards abortion are more strongly predicted by mating-relevant variables than by variables related to views on the sanctity of life.[309]

Weeden and colleagues have also argued that attitudes towards drug legalization are driven by individual differences in mating strategies. Insofar as sexually restricted individuals associate recreational drug use with promiscuity, they may be motivated to oppose drug legalization. Consistent with this, one study found that the strongest predictor of attitudes towards drug legalization was scores on the SOI.[310] This relationship remained strong even when controlling for personality traits, political orientation, and moral values. By contrast, nonsexual variables typically associated with attitudes towards drug legalization were strongly attenuated or eliminated when controlling for SOI and other sexuality-related measures. These findings were replicated in Belgium, Japan, and the Netherlands.[311] Weeden and colleagues have made similar arguments and have conducted similar analyses in regard to religiosity; that is, religious institutions may function to facilitate high-fertility, monogamous mating and reproductive strategies.[312]

With the development of the concept of privacy, legal arguments have been framed in favor of tolerance for, if not legalization of, abortion, homosexuality, and prostitution. In many jurisdictions today, adultery (by women) is no longer deemed a crime that warrants the death penalty.[202]

### Religion

See also: Biology:Patriarchy

Ruins of a mother goddess statue found at the Tarxien Temples (circa 3,000 B.C.) in what is now Malta

Prehistoric societies worshiped mother goddesses as symbols of fertility of the soil and of women. Figurines and even statues were made in honor of these deities. In the early days of agriculture, it was common for women to pray to mother goddesses in hope of bearing many children to till the land. Copulation was a feature in myths and legends from these ancient peoples.[131]: 196–200

But since human societies became more urbanized following the Agricultural Revolution, women have been commonly treated as possessions, a form of mate guarding frequently enforced by religion. In conservative Islamic countries, such as Afghanistan, women are expected to be veiled; they are strictly prohibited from showing their hair or skin in public. However, this cultural tradition actually came from the ancient Assyria and was used to label high-status females; slave girls were not allowed to be veiled.[131]: 205 In parts of the Middle East and North Africa today, female genital mutilation, often done to children, is justified on the grounds of that the elimination of female sexual pleasure would prevent them from straying from their (future) husbands or being promiscuous. Today, a woman may still be stoned to death for alleged adultery in some regions.[131]: 208–11

In India, before it was banned by British colonial authorities in the early nineteenth century, there was a Hindu custom called "satee" for a widow to be burned alive at the funeral pyre of her husband in order to keep him company in the after life. Many women voluntarily jumped in, but others were thrown in by their own families. Those who successfully avoided immolation were socially ostracized. On the other hand, men were not expected to show such devotion to their wives.[131]: 165–7

Sarah Presenting Hagar to Abraham (circa 1781) by Louis-Jean-François Lagrenée. There are numerous examples of high-status men acquiring multiple mates in the Abrahamic religions.

In the Old Testament, there are numerous examples of powerful men—kings, judges, and patriarchs—taking advantage of their high social status and their religion to acquire multiple mates, namely, wives, concubines, slaves, and other men's wives and consequently fathered many children.[206] In Orthodox Jewish communities, the word scholar is preserved not for mathematicians, scientists, or historians, but rather those dedicated to the study of the Torah and the Talmud, who have access to the most beautiful women.[152]: 174–5 In medieval Europe, Christianity, the supreme cultural force, required women to be modest and viewed sexual intercourse as sinful except for the purposes of procreation, in which case it was deemed a necessary evil. Indeed, women were treated as below men and potentially dangerous because of their carnal appeal.[131]: 236–7

On the other hand, there is evidence that as a society becomes wealthier, more urbanized, and more secular, religion is becoming increasingly irrelevant in the role of matchmaking or encouraging matrimony.[96] For instance, in Iran, an otherwise conservative Islamic theocracy, many women are prioritizing their education and autonomy.[299]

## See also

* Mate choice in humans
* Recent human evolution
* Parental investment in humans
* Sociosexuality
* Online dating service
* Alternative mating strategy

## References

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312. ↑ Weeden, J., Cohen, A.B., & Kenrick, D.T. (2008). "Religious attendance as reproductive support". Evolution and Human Behavior, 29(5), 327–334.

## External links

* Victorian mate choice by evolutionary psychologist Geoffrey Miller (8:46). Transcript.
* Muus, Harriet. "Evolutionary Ethics and Mate Selection". PsyArXiv (Center for Open Science). doi:10.31234/osf.io/c659q. https://osf.io/preprints/psyarxiv/c659q.

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