Baptism

A Christian priest using enhanced interrogation.

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For the evangelical denomination, see Baptist.

Baptism is the mystical ritual of of dipping, dunking, pouring, or sprinkling a person with water, an act which holds deep spiritual significance in some religions. It is usually a religious rite of passage implying entry into church membership, typically representing (literally or metaphorically, depending on who you ask) the "washing away" of "defects" in the "soul".

## Contents

* 1 Like affects like
* 2 Who baptises
* 2.1 Christianity
* 2.2 Judaism
* 3 Just add water
* 4 Holy water
* 4.1 Roman Catholic holy water
* 4.2 Holy shit water
* 5 Sacramentality
* 6 Gallery
* 7 See also
* 8 External links
* 9 Notes
* 10 References

## Like affects like[edit]

Baptism is an example of an assumption of like effects based on  symbolic similarity. Because water is an effective solvent for cleansing dirt from the outside of the body, theologians conclude that water also has some mystical effectiveness in cleansing the spirit, soul, or mind from internal "dirt" of the sinful kind. This belief is a prime example of an area best explained by the hermeneutic method, rather than by the scientific method.

## Who baptises[edit]

### Christianity[edit]

The method of baptism varies between Christian sects, ranging from a gentle splash of water on the head up to full immersion in water. Roman Catholics and Anglicans would typically use water blessed prior to the baptism, while other sects, such as Methodists, believe the water becomes holy during the rite of baptism.

Sects also differ on the age at which a person should be baptized. Many encourage baptizing people when they are infants, while the Baptists and Anabaptists believe only adults should be baptized, arguing that children are unable to fully consent to being induced into a faith. In the early years of the movement, the Anabaptists condemned infant baptism as "the highest and chief abomination of the Pope."[1]

In the moral theology of Roman Catholicism, anyone is able to perform the ritual of baptism and allowed to do so in an emergency. All that is required is that they say it in the name of the Trinity: "I baptize thee in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost."[2] Claims that Catholics had baptized Jews, believing that an emergency was present and that the ritual would gain them Heaven, have resulted in the kidnapping of Jewish infants from their families, as happened in the case of Edgardo Mortara.

### Judaism[edit]

In Judaism, a mikvah is a bath used for ritual immersion, vaguely resembling Christian baptism. In the times of the Temple, mikva'ot were used to achieve ritual purity before one could enter the Temple. In modern times, they're used for much the same purpose (despite the notable lack of an extant temple), most commonly by women after menstruation.[3] Interestingly, submersion in a mikvah is required for a conversion to Judaism, the reasons sounding a lot like those for Christian baptism.

## Just add water[edit]

Why is water necessary for baptism? Given all the talk about God washing away the sins of the world with the blood of Christ, such as in Revelation 1:5, why not that? Or, if blood is too icky, how about wine? That's used for washing too. So is oil; that's the whole idea behind anointing. Heck, why use a fluid at all? John the Baptist says in Matthew 3:11 that his successor will baptize with "the Holy Ghost and fire", not water.

According to Thomas Aquinas, yes, water is absolutely necessary. His reasoning basically follows the hermeneutic method (i.e. not the scientific method): water is necessary for physical life to grow, so it must be necessary for religious life to grow, and since water cleans stains, cools people down, and is transparent to light, it must also clean the stain of sin, cool "superfluous heat", and be transparent to the light of faith. Wine and oil are avoided for practical reasons: they're not as abundant, they leave behind a scent (or "contracts a certain smell therefrom" as he puts it), and simply are not as good at washing as water. The fire mentioned in Matthew could, evidently, be another name for the Holy Spirit or be referring to judgement or trials and tribulations.[4]

So, if water is absolutely necessary, that of course raises the question, what type of water? Aquinas states it must be "pure or plain water", but says it's okay if there are other things mixed in so long as it doesn't change the water's "nature" or "species". He particularly notes that sea-water, rain-water, water mixed with oil, and water exposed to lye or sulfur are fine, but not rose-water, mud, or any sort of liquid that comes from plants.[5] While Aquinas doesn't specifically mention it, that last one would, by extension, exclude perfumes, liquors, and broth.

Interestingly, Aquinas states that blessing the baptismal water into holy water isn't really necessary, but it should be done anyways, because it inspires faith and keeps Old Scratch from interfering.[4]

## Holy water[edit]

"Talk, you son of a bitch!"

“”What if a Catholic priest were to just bless the entire ocean would it turn the entire thing into holy water or do priests have an effective blessing range? Does that range increase based on your level? Can the pope bless the entire ocean?

—Westfailia, asking the real questions[6]

Holy water is usually common tap water which has been magically transformed through the blessing of a priest. Holy water has the power to cure the sick and ward off vampires and demons.[note 1] Oh, and it is a medieval melee weapon. When thrown on the ground, it creates a damaging flame that slides post-Rondo of Blood.[7] A vial of holy water costs 25 gold coins.[8]

In Christianity, holy water is usually associated with the Roman Catholic Church, but it is sometimes used in other sects. Holy water is also found in other religions, including Hinduism, Sikhism, Buddhism, and Jainism.

It's also helpful for keeping your sinful infant from going to hell.

### Roman Catholic holy water[edit]

Special blessed water has been important since early on in the Roman Catholic Church, where it's a continuation of traditions from the Greco-Roman religion.[9] Water can also be holy because of the place it comes from; you can even buy special holy water from Lourdes online, then keep a bottle in your home or carry it with you, and it will shield you from the powers of darkness.[10] And since business remains profitable, the church won't complain.

### Holy shit water[edit]

In spite of its supernatural properties, holy water becomes stagnant when kept in a container, and has the potential to spread bacterial and viral infections when people dip their hands into it on a continuous basis.[11] This issue was possibly nullified when some Italians used technology to create and install a motion-sensing, hands-free holy water dispenser in one of their churches.[12]

Studies have shown that holy water may contain bacteria like Escherichia coli and Salmonella.[13][14] A 2012 study found that only 14% of holy springs in Austria met biological and chemical standards for drinking water. The study also found that most of the holy water samples from churches and hospital chapels had high levels of fecal contamination indicators (holy shit!), coliform bacteria (76%), Escherichia coli (38%), and Enterococci (32%).[15] How often this affects hospital patients with weak immune systems is unknown.[16]

## Sacramentality[edit]

Most Protestant sects perform baptism as an ordinance, done merely because Jesus told his followers to do so. The Roman Catholic, Anglican, Lutheran, and Eastern Orthodox churches hold to the principle of sacramentality, which maintains that an infinite God interfaces with finite human beings through things like water, oil, and the laying on of hands, things which exist in fact rather than purely in the mindscape. Those Christians believe the water of baptism functions as a real channel of God's redeeming grace during the ritual, which is the sacrament of belonging, replacing the circumcision rite practiced by the Hebrews. Otherwise, the whole rite would just represent a typical infantilizing[17] and humiliating initiation ceremony.

## Gallery[edit]

* Not a shower head, a holy water sprinkler

* It's holy because of where it comes from, not where it goes.

* Holy water at Lourdes, France

* Perhaps not so sanitary (Mayo, Ireland)

* Bottled holy water from the Zamzam well in Mecca, Saudi Arabia

* Zamzam well in Mecca

* Blessing a Virgin

* Little vials of holy water, made freely available at a church.

## See also[edit]

* Homeopathy \- like cures like
* Jesus-only baptism
* Kabbalah water
* Raw water — the secular version
* Original sin
* Waterboarding
* Water woo

## External links[edit]

* Origin of Baptism by Water, Fire, Blood and the Holy Ghost
* Baptism: What is Baptism? How does one Baptize? What does the Bible say?

## Notes[edit]

1. ↑ 2d4 damage per pint on impact, plus 1 splash damage with a 5 foot radius (no splash in 5e).

## References[edit]

1. ↑ The Schleitheim Confession (Published February 24, 1527; Reprinted 1985) Anabaptists.org
2. ↑ How a Lay Person Should Administer Baptism, calefactory.org
3. ↑ Concerning Ritual Purity and Cleanliness
4. ↑ 4.0 4.1 Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica, p. 3, q. 66, art. 3.
5. ↑ Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica, p. 3, q. 66, art. 4.
6. ↑ http://imgur.com/gallery/jf8sX
7. ↑ http://castlevania.wikia.com/wiki/Holy_Water
8. ↑ http://www.frontiernet.net/~jamesstarlight/HolyWater.html
9. ↑ A Study of Primitive Elements in Roman Religion
10. ↑ http://www.discountcatholicproducts.com/Holy-Water-Bottles-C397.aspx?gclid=CLTNmMHHuqsCFYIMfAodGRfCdg
11. ↑ J.C. Rees and K.D. Allen, 1996 "Holy water -- a risk factor for hospital-acquired infection". Journal of Hospital Infection 32(1), pages 51-55.
12. ↑ http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=120340662
13. ↑ Daily Telegraph (18 Sep 2013): Holy water 'unsafe to drink'.
14. ↑ Reuters: Holy water at religious shrines and churches in Austria is often contaminated with fecal matter and bacteria (2013)
15. ↑ Holy springs and holy water: underestimated sources of illness? by Alexander K. T. Kirschner et al. J. Water Health 2012 Sep;10(3):349-57. doi: 10.2166/wh.2012.005.
16. ↑ "Holy Water May be Harmful to Your Health, Study Finds", Liz Fields, Sept. 14 2013, ABC
17. ↑ "Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven." - Matthew 18:3.