Acts of the Apostles

Light iron-age reading
The Bible

Gabbin' with God

* Old / New Testament
* Apocrypha
* Annotated Bible

Analysis

* Evidence for the Exodus
* Horizontal reading
* Herod

Woo

* Snake handling
* Dr. Bronner's Soap
* Christian Identity

Figures

* Noah
* Baal
* Jezebel

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The Acts of the Apostles is a New Testament book about how all those ancient Christians managed without Jesus. Its authorship is traditionally ascribed to Luke the Physician, companion of Paul of Tarsus, and is accepted by scholars as having been written by the same author as the Gospel of Luke.

## Contents

* 1 Summary
* 2 See also
* 3 External links
* 4 References

## Summary[edit]

Saint Peter preached in Jerusalem, and many people believed stories about resurrections and empty tombs, et cetera (sadly, they didn't leave any records). In Acts 1:18, Peter told a story about the death of Judas Iscariot, saying Judas bought a field and died in a fall and thus contradicted Matthew 27:5 which claimed Judas hanged himself.[1]

The second chapter tells of how The Holy Spirit came to the church with the rush of a mighty wind and flames of fire settling on each believer who partied like it was 1999, something which less  credulous observers ascribed to their being drunk (Acts 2:13). Acts 2:38, a verse Peter spoke during this time, is the favorite verse in the entire Bible of churches practicing Jesus-only baptism, but they somehow failed to read on for just a few verses where we hear the tale that Christians held all things in common and practiced ~~Communism~~ communalism.[2] Oops! Later, Ananias and Sapphira held back some of their real-estate earnings (while saying otherwise to look good to the crowd) and were promptly killed by divine heart-attack on Peter's command, a fate evidently missed by many Christians throughout history.

The enemies of Christianity sometimes persecuted the Christians. An enraged crowd stoned Stephen (subsequently Saint Stephen) to death. Saul of Tarsus looked after the coats of those who stoned him. Later, about 31-33 CE (due to ambiguities about which "Acts" visit to Jerusalem Galatians 2:1 is referring to, it could be as late as 38 CE), Saul of Tarsus had hallucinations on the road to Damascus. He became a Christian, and changed his name to Paul. Paul travelled as a missionary to many different countries and preached to many people of many different nationalities. Paul and his companions had many marvelous and supernatural adventures and became implicated in imagined miracles. Paul converted many people (especially  Gentiles), and wrote many letters to Christian groups he had visited in his travels (as it turns out just letting them run on their own wasn't working out), seven or eight of which later entered the New Testament under the overall title of the "Epistles of Paul" (along with several which weren't actually written by Paul).

In 43/44 CE, Peter fasted for a long time and had a “vision” (three times!) telling him that he could eat anything he liked - including "unclean" food (a hungry guy hallucinating about food - must be a miracle!). Due to that, a council to deal with Paul going out to convert non-Jews and some sayings attributed to Jesus and written by Paul, Christians don’t feel bound by Kosher food-laws (and are thus free to binge on shrimp cocktails and pulled pork sandwiches). Gradually the early church became less orientated towards traditional Jews and became accepting of Hellenistic Jews and Gentiles.

The story ends with Paul arriving in Rome after using his status as a Roman Citizen to get a real trial, and ends on a cliffhanger - the story deciding not to include his beheading, the crucifixion of Peter, or whatever actually happened to them (since the 'orrible murder stories are a later Christian tradition, see also argumentum ad martyrdom).

## See also[edit]

* RationalWiki:Annotated Bible/Acts
* Contradictions in Acts, a RationalWiki essay

## External links[edit]

* Hidden History in Acts of the Apostles (2003)

## References[edit]

1. ↑ When the writing is this bad, who cares?
2. ↑ This collectivism resembled something like the later utopian socialism, anarcho-communism or Christian anarchism. Compare: Miranda, Jose P. (2004) [1982]. "Christianity is Communism". Communism in the Bible. Translated by Barr, Robert R. (reprint ed.). Eugene, Oregon: Wipf and Stock Publishers. ISBN 9781592444687. Retrieved 2018-07-06.

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Articles about the Bible

Old Testament: |  Goliath • Tamar • Tower of Babel • Abel • Joseph (Old Testament) • Firmament • Baal • Noah • Isaac • Ishmael • Amalekites • Curse of Ham • Jacob • Sodom and Gomorrah • Ezekiel's wheel • Lot • Nephilim • G'Tach • Joseph was Imhotep • Moses • Global flood • Cain • Gibeah • Abraham • Old Testament • Incubus and succubus myths • King David • Serpent seed doctrine • Leviathan • Messiah • Mark of Cain • Asherah • Nimrod • Sirach • Jezebel • Adam and Eve • Moloch • Book of Joel • Garden of Eden • Satan • List of actions prohibited by the Bible •
| Torah: |  Torah • Book of Exodus • Book of Genesis • Book of Leviticus • Book of Numbers • Book of Zechariah • Book of Deuteronomy •
| Old Testament History: |  Book of Esther • Book of Ezra • Book of Judges • Book of Ruth • Books of Chronicles • Books of Kings • Books of Samuel • Book of Joshua •
| Old Testament Wisdom: |  Ecclesiastes • Song of Solomon • Book of Job • Book of Proverbs • Book of Psalms •
| Major and Minor Prophets: |  Book of Daniel • Book of Ezekiel • Book of Isaiah • Book of Lamentations • Book of Jeremiah •
New Testament: |  Mary Magdalene • New Testament • Mary (mother of Jesus) • Joseph of Arimathea • Paul of Tarsus • Good Samaritan • Authorship of the New Testament • Magi • John the Baptist • Principalities and powers • Joseph (husband of Mary) • Nag Hammadi library • Messiah • Jesus • Gospel of Barnabas • Peter the Apostle • Pontius Pilate • Judas Iscariot • Book of Revelation •
| Gospels and Acts: |  Gospels • Q gospel • Gospel of John • Gospel of Mark • Gospel of Luke • Gospel of Matthew •
| Pauline Epistles: |  Corinthians • Galatians • Ephesians • Colossians • Epistle to the Philippians • Epistle to Philemon • Epistle to the Romans • Epistle to Titus • First Epistle to the Thessalonians • Second Epistle to the Thessalonians • Second Epistle to Timothy • First Epistle to Timothy •
| General Epistles: |  Epistle of Jude • Epistle of James • Epistle to the Hebrews • First Epistle of John • First Epistle of Peter • Second Epistle of John • Second Epistle of Peter • Third Epistle of John •
Bible analysis: |  Apocalyptic literature • Authorship of the New Testament • Bible interpolation • Biblical sexism • Bibliolatry • Documentary hypothesis • Evidence for the Exodus • Gospels • Horizontal reading • King James Only • Pesher • Q gospel • Septuagint • Skeptic's Annotated Bible • Ten Commandments • Torah • Bible translation • Word of God • Biblical literalism • Biblical contradictions • List of mistakes made by God • Abomination • Firmament • G'Tach • Arsenokoites • Genealogy of Jesus • Nag Hammadi library • Noah's Ark • Annotated Bible • Slavery in the Bible • Examples of God personally killing people • Herod • The Brick Testament • Evidence against a recent creation • EvilBible.com • List of actions prohibited by the Bible • Biblical scientific errors •
| Bible translations: |  Cockney Bible • Douay-Rheims • Jefferson Bible • King James Only • Septuagint • Vetus Latina • Bible translation • Annotated Bible •
| Apocrypha: |  Didache • Apocrypha • Nag Hammadi library • Book of Judith • 2 Maccabees • 3 Maccabees • 4 Maccabees • Books of Enoch • Books of the Maccabees • Gospel of Judas • Gospel of Mary • Gospel of Philip • Gospel of Thomas • Infancy Gospel of James • Infancy Gospel of Thomas • 1 Maccabees •
Biblical figures: |  Abel • Cain • Ishmael • Jacob • Joseph of Arimathea • Joseph (Old Testament) • Mary (mother of Jesus) • Noah • Paul of Tarsus • Mary Magdalene • Lot • Goliath • Nephilim • Moses • YHWH • Amalekites • Baal • King David • Joseph (husband of Mary) • God • Jesus • Asherah • Nimrod • Habakkuk • Adam and Eve • Herod • Pontius Pilate • Jezebel • Tamar • Judas Iscariot • Satan •
Bible woo: |  Jesus diet • Name it and claim it • Snake handling • Speaking in tongues • Spiritual warfare • The Bible Code • Gematria • Stigmata • Biblical longevity • Hanzi of Genesis • Dr. Bronner's Soap • Presidential Prayer Team • Trinity Broadcasting Network • Zecharia Sitchin • James Ussher • Creation Week • Zion Oil and Gas • The Drama of the Lost Disciples • Roman Piso • Jose Luis de Jesús • Prayer • Black Hebrew Israelites • Jonathan Otto • Benny Hinn • Presents Of God Ministry • Solfeggio frequencies • Ken Ham • Harold Camping • Institute for Creation Research • Steve Quayle • Kabbalah Center • Acharya S • Christian Identity • Peter J. Peters • Ezekiel's wheel • Creation Research • Biblical scientific foreknowledge • British Israelism •
| Scientific foreknowledge: |  Gaps between Science and the Bible • Scientific Facts in the Bible: 100 Reasons to Believe the Bible is Supernatural in Origin • Science Confirms the Bible • Eternal Productions: 101 Scientific Facts and Foreknowledge • Modern Science in the Bible • Biblical scientific foreknowledge •