Death Cafe

Social meetup concept with a topic of death

A Death Cafe is a scheduled non-profit get-together (called "social franchises" by the organizers) for the purpose of talking about death over food and drink, usually tea and cake. The idea originates with the Swiss sociologist and anthropologist Bernard Crettaz, who organized the first café mortel in 2004. Jon Underwood, a UK web developer, was inspired by Crettaz's work, introduced the death cafe to London in 2011, and launched the Death Cafe website. They have since been held in many countries.

## Format and purpose

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The Death Cafe is not a physical location but an event, usually lasting two hours. Usually there are a dozen participants, who are free to discuss their understanding, thoughts, dreams, fears and any other aspects of death and dying. Tea and cake assist with creating a nurturing and supportive environment. Some Death Cafes have specifically created an opportunity for health-care professionals to talk about death.[1] Venues include homes and rented halls as well as restaurants and cafes;[2][3][4][5] a cemetery[6] and a yurt have also been used.[7]

The Death Cafe website created by Underwood states the purpose as "to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives".[8] Facilitators have said that there is "a need among people to open [the] closet"[3] into which death, the "last taboo", has been placed,[2] to reduce fear and enable people to live more fully.[2][3] Crettaz said that his aim was to break the "tyrannical secrecy" surrounding the topic of death,[2] and that at these gatherings, "the assembled company, for a moment, and thanks to death, is born into authenticity."[9] Underwood said that "we have lost control of one of the most significant events we ever have to face."[7]

Death Cafes have helped to relax the taboo of speaking about death, particularly with strangers, and encouraged people to express their own wishes for after they die. The open-ended discussions also provide an avenue to express thoughts about one's own life stirred up by the death of a family member.[1] According to one commentator, Crettaz wanted to revive the pagan tradition of the funeral feast, "where the living would renew their bonds while letting go of what weighed on their hearts".[10]

## History

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Crettaz organized the first café mortel in 2004 in Neuchâtel[2][11] and in 2010 brought the idea to Paris. He published a book titled Cafés Mortels: Sortir la Mort du Silence (Death Cafes: Bringing Death out of Silence).[12]

In 2011, inspired by Crettaz and with his guidance, Underwood held the first London Death Cafe at his home.[2] He subsequently developed the Death Cafe website, generating guidelines with his mother, psychotherapist Susan Barsky Reid, and the concept took off globally.[3][13][14] The first US event was organized by Lizzy Miles, a hospice worker, in summer 2012 near Columbus, Ohio.[15][16][17] By June 2014, the idea had spread to Hong Kong,[18] and it was subsequently popularized in Shanghai by a non-profit organization that provides hospice services to cancer patients.[19] In February 2013, a Death Cafe in London was filmed.[20] The first Latino Death Cafe was held in San Diego on April 25, 2015.[citation needed]

Café Totentanz or Totentanz-Café is used in German-speaking areas.[11][21]

Underwood died in June 2017; Death Cafe has since been run by his mother, his sister Jools Barsky, and his wife Donna Molloy.[22] A qualitative study by Jack Fong, The Death Café Movement: Exploring the Horizons of Mortality, was published in 2017.

After hosting a Death Café in Perth, Scotland, counsellor and social entrepreneur Rachel Weiss was inspired to use the model for talking about menopause. Weiss hosted the first Menopause Café in 2017 in Perth and there are now cafés across the world.[23]

## References

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1. ^ a b Lizzy Miles and Charles A. Corr, "Death Cafe: What Is It and What We Can Learn From It", Omega, October 29, 2015, pp. 6–7.
2. ^ a b c d e f Gary Singh, "Expiration Date," Silicon Alleys, Metro Silicon Valley, July 23, 2014.
3. ^ a b c d Deena Prichep, "Death Cafes Breathe Life Into Conversations About Dying", NPR, March 8, 2013.
4. ^ "'Death cafes' gaining popularity", CBS News, August 19, 2013.
5. ^ Nita Lelyveld, "Passing thoughts at L.A.'s first Death Cafe", Los Angeles Times, April 15, 2013.
6. ^ Associated Press, "At these coffee klatches, death is on the agenda ", The Wall Street Journal, October 21, 2013.
7. ^ a b Eleanor Tucker, "What on earth is a death cafe?", Family, The Guardian, March 21, 2014.
8. ^ "What is Death Cafe?", Death Cafe.com, retrieved July 24, 2014.
9. ^ Clare Davies, "The Death Café", Aeon, September 11, 2013, archived from the original on July 28, 2014.
10. ^ Ondine Millot, "Cafés mortels: trépas sur le pouce", Libération, October 27, 2010 (in French).
11. ^ a b Karen Schärer, "Die Todes-Café: Wenn man sich im Restaurant trifft, um über den Tod zu plaudern", Aargauer Zeitung, December 3, 2013, archived from the original on October 23, 2015 (in German).
12. ^ Molly Guinness, "Never say die? Far from it in Paris death café", The Independent, November 1, 2010.
13. ^ Helen Carter, "Death Cafe: Discussing mortality over tea and cake", BBC News, January 31, 2014.
14. ^ "Sunday, 15 December 2013: Death Cafe", Spiritual Outlook, Radio New Zealand National, retrieved July 24, 2014.
15. ^ Paula Span, "Death Be Not Decaffeinated: Over Cup, Groups Face Taboo", The New Old Age, blogs, The New York Times, June 26, 2013.
16. ^ Janice Lloyd, "'Death cafes' normalize a difficult, not morbid, topic", USA Today, April 7, 2013.
17. ^ Jaweed Kaleem, "Death Cafes Grow As Places To Discuss, Learn About End Of Life", Huffington Post, February 4, 2013.
18. ^ Christy Choi, "At Hong Kong's Death Cafe, it is love and life that is on the menu", South China Morning Post, June 15, 2014.
19. ^ Fan Yiying, "After a Year of Loss, Chinese Find Solace in 'Death Cafés'", Sixth Tone, April 3, 2021.
20. ^ "Tea and mortality; the rise of Death Cafés", Dying Matters, February 12, 2013.
21. ^ Sascha Stienen, "Im Totentanz-Café", Katholisch.de, May 12, 2013.
22. ^ "Jon Underwood, 'Death Café' founder – obituary", Daily Telegraph, July 13, 2017.
23. ^ McElhone, Nora (2024-10-11). "Perth's Rachel Weiss on how she broke the age-old taboo around the menopause". The Courier. Retrieved 2025-03-06.

## Further reading

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* Bernard Crettaz. Cafés Mortels: Sortir la Mort du Silence. Geneva: Labor et fides, 2010. ISBN 9782830913903. (in French).
* Jack Fong. The Death Café Movement: Exploring the Horizons of Mortality. London: Palgrave-Macmillan Cham, 2017. ISBN 978-3-319-54255-3.

## External links

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* deathcafe.com
* Totentanz Café.de (in German)

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