Creating Communities

—Belonging

## Introduction

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Perhaps the first communities gathered around a campfire

A community is a place where you feel you belong. A community is formed when someone identifies as being part of that community.  Community members share mutual concern for each other’s welfare.[1] Communities are groups of people who keep coming together over what they care about.[2]

Do you feel like you belong, or do you feel lonely and isolated? While the word community can have a broader meaning, and encompass a broad range of topics, this course focuses on human communities that elicit a feeling of belonging.

## Objectives

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The objectives of this course are to help students:

* Assess the suitability of communities you may wish to join,
* Improve participation in communities you are a member of,
* Leave unsuitable communities,
* Create a new community to meet your needs.

This course is about creating communities. It is likely that you can fulfill your needs by finding and joining an existing community, saving you the effort of creating a new community. Many communities already exist. Searching on-line, asking acquaintances, or using a service such as meetup can help you find communities that match your interests. In any case, the materials in this course can help you evaluate existing communities or help you become a more effective community member.

All students are welcome and there are no prerequisites to this course. Students may benefit from studying the Wikiversity courses Alleviating Loneliness,  Social Skills, Being Friends, and Knowing Someone along with this course.

This course is part of the Applied Wisdom curriculum.

## Characteristics of a Community

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Communities share several characteristics that make them distinct from gatherings or cults. A community must elicit a sense of community among its members while allowing members to leave at any time without penalty.

A community is more cohesive than a group or gathering. While a group is several persons or things that are located, gathered, or classed together, a community is distinguished by membership, shared purpose, and the other characteristics described below.

### Belonging

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We gather in a community to attain a sense of belonging and alleviate loneliness.

Belongingness is the human emotional need to be an accepted member of a group. Whether it is family, friends, co-workers, a religion, or something else, some people tend to have an inherent desire to belong and be an important part of something greater than themselves. This implies a relationship that is greater than simple acquaintance or familiarity.

Belonging is a strong feeling that exists in human nature. To belong or not to belong is a subjective experience that can be influenced by several factors within people and their surrounding environment. A person's sense of belonging can greatly impact the physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual emotions within themselves.

Roy Baumeister and Mark Leary argue that belongingness is such a fundamental human motivation that people feel severe consequences for not belonging. Were it not so fundamental, then lacking a sense of belonging would not have such dire consequences. This desire is so universal that the need to belong is found across all cultures and different types of people.

### A Sense of Community

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You have attained a sense of community when you feel you belong to some group. We gather in communities to gain a sense of community; to feel that we belong.

Formally stated, a psychological sense of community is "the perception of similarity to others, an acknowledged interdependence with others, a willingness to maintain this interdependence by giving to or doing for others what one expects from them, and the feeling that one is part of a larger dependable and stable structure".

Alternatively, a sense of community has been defined as "a feeling that members have of belonging, a feeling that members matter to one another and to the group, and a shared faith that members' needs will be met through their commitment to be together.”

#### Assignment

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1. Study the Wikiversity course Alleviating Loneliness.
* Take steps to alleviate loneliness.
2. Study the Wikiversity course Social Skills.
* Develop your social skills.
3. Study the Wikiversity course Being Friends.
* Make friends.

### Shared Purpose

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Communities form to pursue some shared purpose. This may be as simple as having fun together, or as ambitious as promoting world peace. Be clear about why the community gathers.

The expression of this purpose may also be known as the mission statement of the community.

Consider these questions when designing your statement of shared purpose:

* "What do we do?" (or “Why are we here? or “Why do we gather?”) — clearly outline the main purpose of the community, and what we do. Is this compelling? Does this elicit passion in you and potential community members?
* "How do we do it?" — mention how our community plans on achieving the purpose.
* "Whom do we do it for?" — the members and beneficiaries should be clearly identified in the purpose statement.
* "What value are we bringing?" — clearly outline the benefits and values of the community.

Ensure the values are consistent with your well-chosen moral reasoning.

#### Assignment

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1. Complete the Wikiverity course Finding shared values along with the likely founders of this new community.
2. Consider this list of communities and their shared purposes.
3. Carefully consider the shared purpose that inspires the formation and continuation of the community you are creating.
4. Communicate, refine, and adopt a statement of the community shared purpose.
5. Repeat steps 2-3 until you find an inspiring statement that encourages people to join and work together to meet the shared purpose. Simplify. Find the essential purpose that inspires you and the other community members.  Ensure the statement highlights the essential work of the community.

### Boundary

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Because people decide to join a community, some boundary is required to differentiate community members from non-members. When people are inside the boundary of the community, they can feel safe in sharing the values that define the community.

The boundary can be as simple as self-selection. With self-selection people can become a part of the community simply by stating they are part of the community. Alternatively, the boundary may be more formal or more difficult to cross.

If the community can reject a potential member, or eject a current member, the community has a boundary.

It is important to allow visitors to explore membership without needing to become members. Visitors should be welcomed to explore and sample the membership without obligation. If they find the community attractive, they can decide to join.

It is helpful to be clear about what behavior is not welcome, and how disruptive members can be removed from the community.

### Initiation

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In general, an initiation is a rite of passage marking entrance or acceptance into a group or society. Initiation is the process of crossing the community boundary and joining the community. Completing the initiation officially welcomes the new member and recognizes the new member as belonging to the community.

This initiation can be as informal as receiving a welcome message from a community leader, or as arduous as initiation rites typical of an organized religion, military organization, hazing, street gang, or fraternal order.

If members of your community have adopted a distinctive name, as in these examples, then refer to new members using this name.

### Rituals

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A ritual is a sequence of activities involving gestures, words, actions, or revered objects. Rituals may be prescribed by the traditions of a community. Rituals mark a time or event as special or important.

Strong communities create both formal and informal rituals.[3] Eating together is a simple yet powerful ritual.

Sasha Sagan wrote the book For Small Creatures Such as We[4] to highlight the role of ritual in our lives. She recognizes ritual as ways of finding meaning in our unlikely world. We often perform rituals to mark anniversaries of important events. In the book she describes rituals that are common among many cultures that celebrate birth, passing of a week’s time, each of the seasons, daily rituals, coming of age, anniversaries and births, wedding, feasts, death, and others.

A community ritual typically has an opening segment where members are welcomed, the intention of the gathering is described, some community tradition may be recalled or enacted, and a brief description of the events is provided.

The body of the ritual will recall the shared purpose and accomplishments of the group and invite participation.

Finally, the ritual will be closed with an acknowledgement of the members participation and accomplishments, followed by dismissal of the participants as they are sent off into the world outside of this community.

#### Bonding Rituals

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While typical communities have simple rituals, some more intense communities practice rituals that promote bonding among the members to develop especially close interpersonal relationships. While bonding will increase in-group strength, it can also act to alienate those in the out-group. Avoid vilifying those who are not community members.

All Blacks Haka

Examples of bonding rituals include:[5]

##### Synchronized Movements

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Whirling dervishes

These include parades, marching, swaying, and dancing. Prominent examples include.

* Military and paramilitary marching, formations, cadences, and exercises.
* The Hacka or other traditional dances.
* Ecstatic dance,
* The whirling dervishes.

##### Synchronized Singing and Chanting

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These include group singing, group chanting, group recitation, call and response, and reciting pledges as a group. Laughing together also promotes bonding.

##### Feasting Together

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Eating and drinking together strengthens interpersonal bonds. Larger groups, laughing together, reminiscing, and drinking alcohol together all foster bonding.

### A Gathering Place

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Basilica of St. John Lateran

Communities gather in a place that fosters the purpose of the community.

Religious groups gather in church buildings, cathedrals, synagogues, mosques, monasteries, or temples. Storytellers have long gathered around the campfire. Sports teams gather on the field. Clubs gather in the club house. Families gather at the homestead. Friends gather at the pub. Increasingly, communities gather in video conferences or chat rooms.

Each of us has some third place where we enjoy gathering.

#### Assignment

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1. Consider these examples of communities and their gathering places.
2. Identify your third places.
3. Establish a suitable gathering place for your community.
4. Welcome members into this gathering place.
5. Display your community symbol and conduct your community rituals consistently at this gathering place.

### Stories

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Stories bind the community together. Sharing stories deepen the community connections.

Community members necessarily share one origin story that describes the formation of the community and its animating purpose. Other stories show how the shared values of this community are carried out by real people. Community members are encouraged to share personal stories describing how the community has touched their lives, or the lives of others.

Telling and retelling stories is an important and fun community activity.

### Symbols

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Symbols are integral to each community's identity, helping members recognize and connect with a shared purpose, interest, or ethos.

Nations and militaries have flags, religions have sacred symbols and icons, clubs have insignias, organizations have emblems and badges, companies have logos, and products have trademarks and brands.

#### Assignment

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1. Consider these examples of communities and their symbols.
2. Work with the founding members of your community to design a symbol that captures the purpose of your community.
3. Engage other members of the community in selecting or refining the symbol.
4. Share the symbol with members. This can be done via stickers, emblems, lapel pins, jewelry, flags, name tags, tee shirts, or other media.
5. Incorporate this symbol into the initiation of new members, perhaps by presenting them with some token or swag that displays the symbol.

### Inner Rings

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While the community boundary separates community members from outsiders, important distinctions also exist within the community boundary. Consider these concentric rings:

* Outsiders unaware of your community,
* People curious about the community,
* People interested in the community,
* Visitors,
* New members, novices,
* Long-time members,
* Founding members, elders, masters, sages
* Active community members, committee members,
* Board members, council members, officers,
* Board president, and
* The founder.

Activities often span these rings, and distinctions among several rings may be informal or non-existent. For example, those in the innermost rings are typically active in recruiting new members, welcoming new members, and helping all community members participate in community activities. Those in the innermost rings may also have the deepest concern for all members. Many members will seek to join the inner rings, some will not.

It is best when structure arises naturally as the community grows and matures. It is unwise to have too many inner rings, to have excessive barriers separating each ring, or for members to aggressively seek the next ring. As C. S. Lewis warns:

> “Of all the passions, the passion for the Inner Ring is most skillful in making a man who is not yet a very bad man do very bad things.”[6]

## Avoid Cults

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A cult is a relatively small group which is typically led by a charismatic and self-appointed leader, who tightly controls its members, requiring unwavering devotion to a set of beliefs and practices which are considered deviant (outside the norms of society).

This term is also used for a new religious movement or other social group which is defined by its unusual religious, spiritual, or philosophical beliefs and rituals, or its common interest in a particular person, object, or goal.

Cults differ from communities in these several ways:

* Voluntariness: Group and community memberships are usually voluntary, while cult memberships may involve manipulation or coercion.
* Leadership Dynamics: Groups and communities may have more democratic or consensus-based leadership, whereas cults often have a more authoritarian, single-leader structure.
* Social Interaction: Communities typically emphasize mutual support and shared resources, while cults may involve isolation and strict control of members' interactions.
* Purpose and Goals: Groups and communities form around a variety of purposes, while cults often center around the beliefs and goals set by a leader.

If you are facing formal or informal barriers to exit, you are in a cult, not a community. It is best to exit as soon as you can.

## Transformational Communities

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Communities form for any variety of reasons and to serve a variety of purposes. Your community may exist only for the enjoyment of the members and may not have any more grand purpose. However, if your community is formed to make a difference by transforming some social structure or addressing some grand challenge, then please study the Wikiversity course Transformational Communities.

## Assignment

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1. Create your community.
2. Enjoy participating in the community.
3. Enjoy pursuing the shared purpose.
4. Welcome new members who are enthusiastic about participating in the community.

## Recommended Reading

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Students interested in exploring communities may wish to study the following materials:

* Block, Peter (2009). Community: The Structure of Belonging. Berrett-Koehler Publishers. pp. 264\. ISBN 978-1605092775.
* ‬Richardson‪, ‬Bailey‪ (‬August 20, 2019‪). ‬Get Together: How to Build a Community With Your People‪. ‬Stripe Press‪. pp. 192\. ISBN ‬978-1732265196‪. ‬
* Putnam, Robert D. (2000). Bowling Alone. Touchstone Books by Simon & Schuster. pp. 544\. ISBN 978-0743203043.
* Owen, Harrison (April 21, 2008). Open Space Technology: A User's Guide Paperback. Berrett-Koehler Publishers. pp. ‎192. ISBN 978-1576754764.
* Brooks, David (October 24, 2023). How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen. Random House. pp. 320\. ISBN 978-0593230060.
* ‬Vogl‪, ‬Charles‪ (‬September 12, 2016‪). ‬The Art of Community: Seven Principles for Belonging‪. ‬Berrett-Koehler Publishers‪. pp. 216\. ISBN ‬978-1626568419‪. ‬
* Dunbar, Robin. Friends: Understanding the Power of our Most Important Relationships. Abacus. pp. 432\. ISBN ‎ 978-0349143576.
* Sagan, Sasha (October 5, 2021). For Small Creatures Such as We: Rituals for Finding Meaning in Our Unlikely World. G.P. Putnam's Sons. pp. 304\. ISBN 978-0735218796.
* King, Larry. How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere: The Secrets of Good Communication. Crown. pp. 224\. ISBN 978-0517884539.
* Cain, Susan (January 29, 2013). Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. Crown. pp. 368\. ISBN 978-0307352156.
* Denworth, Lydia (January 26, 2021). Friendship: The Evolution, Biology, and Extraordinary Power of Life's Fundamental Bond. W. W. Norton & Company. pp. 320\. ISBN 978-0393541502.
* ‪Cope, Stephen (‬March 26, 2019‪). ‬Deep Human Connection: Why We Need It More than Anything Else‪. ‬Hay House Inc.‪. pp. 288\. ISBN ‬978-1401946531‪. ‬‬‬‬‬‬

I have not yet read the following books, but they seem interesting and relevant. They are listed here to invite further research.

* Celebrating the Third Place: Inspiring Stories About the "Great Good Places" at the Heart of Our Communities, by Ray Oldenburg PhD
* The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters, by Bernadette Dunne, Priya Parker, et al.

## References

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1. ↑ Vogl‪, Charles‪   (September 12, 2016‪). The Art of Community: Seven Principles for Belonging‪  . Berrett-Koehler Publishers‪. pp. 216\. ISBN 978-1626568419‪.  Chapter 1.
2. ↑ ‪Richardson‪, Bailey‪ (August 20, 2019‪). Get Together: How to Build a Community With Your People‪  . Stripe Press‪. pp. 192\. ISBN 978-1732265196‪.
3. ↑ ‪Vogl‪, Charles‪   (September 12, 2016‪). The Art of Community: Seven Principles for Belonging‪  . Berrett-Koehler Publishers‪. pp. 216\. ISBN 978-1626568419‪.  Chapter 4.
4. ↑ Sagan, Sasha (October 5, 2021). For Small Creatures Such as We: Rituals for Finding Meaning in Our Unlikely World. G.P. Putnam's Sons. pp. 304\. ISBN 978-0735218796.
5. ↑ Dunbar, Robin. Friends: Understanding the Power of our Most Important Relationships  . Abacus. pp. 432\. ISBN ‎ 978-0349143576.  Chapter 8.
6. ↑ C. S. Lewis, “The Inner Ring” was the Memorial Lecture at King’s College, University of London, in 1944.

* v
* t
* e

Emotional Competency

* Studying Emotional Competency
* Dignity
* Recognizing Emotions
* Mapping Moods
* Subjective Awareness
* Forming beliefs
* Resolving Anger
* Resolving Dominance Contests
* Confronting Tyranny
* Overcoming Hate
* Appraising Emotional Responses
* What you can change and what you cannot
* Attributing Blame
* Coping with Ego
* Apologizing
* Forgiving
* Foregoing Revenge
* Communicating Power
* Earning Trust
* Practicing Dialogue
* Candor
* Deep Listening
* Understanding Fairness
* Transcending Conflict
* True Self
* Clarifying values
* Finding Equanimity
* Cherishing awe
* Alleviating Loneliness
* Social Skills
* Being Friends
* Knowing Someone
* Creating Communities
* Toward congruence

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