Emotional intelligence

## Definitions

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“  | The term ‘emotional intelligence’ does not yet appear in dictionaries; as such, its definition is still an unsettled issue as are the boundaries of this new domain.
Bar-On (1997)  | ”

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“  | Emotional intelligence concerns the ability to carry out accurate reasoning about emotions, and the ability to use emotions and emotional knowledge to enhance thought.
Mayer, Roberts and Barsade (2007  | ”

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“  | “…the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions."
Salovey and Mayer (1990  | ”

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## Topics

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Emotional intelligence (EQ) has become a popular topic for staff training in organisations during the late 1990s and 2000s. Some of the topics commonly taught include:

1. EQ: why it can matter more than IQ
2. The framework
3. Personal competencies
4. Self awareness
5. Self management
6. Positive psychology - how to use your strengths to enjoy your work and improve performance
7. Group EQ and teams
8. Social competencies
9. Social awareness
10. Relationship management
11. Solutions focused coaching strategies

## An Emotional Intelligence Framework

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SELF AWARENESS

* Emotional self awareness: attuned to inner signals and guiding values. Able to be candid and authentic about own emotions and guiding vision.
* Accurate self-assessment: knows own limitations and strengths. Exhibits a sense of humour about themselves. Graceful in learning and in receiving feedback. Knows when to ask for help.
* Self confidence: knows own abilities and can play to own strengths. Self assured and happy to take on difficult assignments.

SELF MANAGEMENT

* Self Control: Can manage disturbing emotions and impulses. Calm and clear under stress.
* Transparency: an authentic openness to others about one’s feelings, beliefs and actions.
* Adaptability: flexible in adapting to new challenges. Can juggle multiple demands without losing focus or energy.
* Achievement: High personal standards, continually seeks ways to improve.
* Initiative: controls own destiny. Cuts through red tape or bends the rules in order to achieve better outcomes.
* Optimism: Sees situations as an opportunity rather than a threat.

SOCIAL AWARENESS

* Empathy: able to attune to a wide range of emotional signals.
* Organisational Awareness: politically astute. Able to network and read the key power relationships.
* Service: delivers high level service to clients and customers

RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT

* Inspiration: creates a compelling vision that inspires others to follow.
* Influence: is persuasive, influential and engaging.
* Develop others: cultivates other’s abilities through feedback, coaching and opportunities.
* Change catalyst: recognises and drives change.
* Conflict Management: is able to manage conflict through understanding different perspectives and finding common ground.
* Teamwork and collaboration: is an able team player and team builder.

from Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence see http://danielgoleman.info/topics/emotional-intelligence/

## How to become more emotionally intelligent

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(adapted from LexisNexis)

1. Be aware of your body. Posture and gesture reflect your feelings. Practise reading body signals.
2. Notice which situations or people make you uncomfortable. Work out why.
3. Anticipate situations you don't like. Think what you want to achieve and keep focused.
4. If you feel you are going to lose it, count to 10. Then ask: do I want to shout or do I have an alternative?
5. Ask for feedback. Knowing how you come across identifies strengths and weaknesses.
6. Give feedback not criticism. Challenge behaviour, not people.
7. If criticised, acknowledge appropriate responsibility then see it as an opportunity to solve a problem.
8. Twice a day listen to someone without interruption. Then repeat what they say: 'So you think ...." It helps you understand others' feelings.
9. Identify and cultivate key people who would be useful when difficulties occur. They will respond more willingly when you need them.
10. Be available to talk to people; this is more important the higher up you go.
11. Set achievable targets, eg I'll make two points at the meeting.

Behaviours for Inclusion (Judith Katz - Change Champions Fieldguide)

1. Greet others authentically
2. Create a sense of safety for you and your team members
3. Address misunderstandings and resolve disagreements
4. Listen carefully to the person speaking until that person feels understood.
5. Communicate clearly, directly and honestly
6. Solidify the team’s vision of its tasks and its relationship to the organisation’s mission.
7. Hear all voices. Allow for options.
8. Ask others to share their thoughts and experiences and accept their frame of reference.
9. Speak up when people are being excluded.
10. Make careful choices about group actions and schedules. Treat everyone’s time as valuable and their presence as critical
11. Be brave.

## Short articles, tools and resources

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* Salovey & Mayer on emotional intelligence 1990 (Melissa Karnaze)
* Entitlement-thinking (Leadership Freak)
* Emotional intelligence (EQ) (Businessballs)
* Ten tips to improve your EQ (eqi.org)
* Ladder of Inference (Chris Argyris and Society for Organisational Learning) Diagram
* Search for Learn-About-Emotional-Intelligence 5min30sec video by Daniel Goleman
* 20min video Brené Brown - Wholeheartedness (TED)
* The Art of Possibility (Ben Zander)
* EQ self assessment tool (Institute for Health and Human Potential)
* Authentic Happiness and Positive Pyschology questionnaires (Dr. Martin Seligman, Director of the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania)
* The Emerging Field of NeuroLeadership (David Rock)
* Maintain Your Mental Wellbeing (David Rock)
* Science of Motivation (Dan Pink)
* Conflict is the Stuff of Life - 12 steps (Conflict Resolution Network)
* Turn conflict into connection and collaboration (John Kinyon)
* 9 Unexpected Questions that Create Engagement (Leadership Freak, Dan Rockwell)
* WikiLove and emotional intelligence have much in common
* The Path to Eldership (Tjanara Goreng Goreng)
* Three part assertive communication

1. Identify the 'real problem'. The presenting behaviour is rarely the real problem. The real problem is often the emotional reaction as a consequence the thinking and emotions from a flight or fight response.
2. State your feelings using 'I' statements. Be direct, honest and specific.
3. Offer solutions and/or negotiate mutual agreement for resolution.

* Karpman drama triangle — a useful model, supporting emotional intelligence.

## References

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1. Mayer, J. D., Roberts, S. D., & Barsade, S. G. (2008). Human abilities: Emotional intelligence. Annual Review of Psychology, 59, 507-536.

## See also

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| Search for Emotional intelligence on Wikipedia.

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* Introduction to emotional intelligence (Foundations of education and instructional assessment; Wikibooks)
* Emotion knowledge
* Emotional intelligence (Applied history of psychology; Wikibooks)
* Emotional intelligence (Social and cultural foundations of American education; Wikibooks)
* Emotional intelligence (Emotion and adolescence)