Canada

Map of Canada.

Canada

Demographics
Population:	41,012,563
GDP (million):	2,242,182
GDP p/cap.:	54,866
Life expectancy:	82.6
Development Index:	0.935

Government
Democracy Index:	8.69
Corruption Index:	76

More
Education Index:	0.894
Religiosity:	42

“”Canada could have enjoyed:  English government,   French culture,    and American know-how. Instead it ended up with:  English know-how,   French government,    and American culture.

—John Robert Colombo[1]

Canada, also known as the Great White North, Soviet Canuckistan,^{[note 1]} America's Hat,^[3] and America Junior,^[4] is the second largest country in the world by total area (after Russia)^{[note 2]} and fourth by land area.^{[note 3]} It is a crowned republic located directly north of the contiguous United States, and it also has a small land border with Greenland on a tiny island due to a territorial dispute that was settled in 2022.

Americans and Canadians generally have no grudges against each other. But minor disputes do come up from time to time, as is expected in any relationship.^{[note 4]} Indeed, the two remain close allies and major trading partners for most of their respective histories as nation states and share the world's longest undefended border. As of 2020, the two countries have a similar rank on the human development index, with Canada taking the 16^th spot and the United States in the 17^th spot.^[5] The Economist ranks Canada as more democratic than the US.^[6] While Canada is officially on the metric system, you will still find the Imperial System being used haphazardly.

Canada is a part of the Commonwealth of Nations. Its capital isn't Toronto,^{[note 5]} it's Ottawa, Ontario. Its current monarch is King Charles III of the United Kingdom. He is officially referred to as the King of Canada if he is on Canadian soil, making his family the Canadian royal family. Canadians tend to forget about the royals, until a foreigner asks them who that woman on their colourful money is^{[note 6]} or until the royal family's expenses have to be covered by taxpayers; in the latter case, Canadians have a less than positive attitude towards the Windsors.

The current Prime Minister of Canada is Justin Trudeau.

Language/Langue[edit]

Château Frontenac in Quebec City.

Canada has two official languages: Canadian English and/or Canadian French (or Quebecois), a dialect of French that native speakers of European French find quaint and rather amusing.^{[note 7]} French Canadian has its own category of swear words based on religious trappings, e.g. "Tabarnac!" (from tabernacle). Canadian spelling uses lots of extra U's and E's for no reason, but uses the letter Z about as much as American English (i.e. -ize instead of -ise), and uses sensible American automotive terms (e.g., trunk rather than boot). There is still a veiled rivalry between the English and French parts of the country, exemplified in each of their respective expressions for fleeing cowardly, "To go the French way" and "Filer à l'anglaise" (translated as "To run away like the English"). While Canadian people religiously place the letter U in words such as "colour" and "favourite", most other spelling rules are frequently ignored. For example, "centre" is often spelled "center", "licence" is often spelled "license", "cheque" is often spelled "check" ("bank" is never spelled "banque"), "encyclopaedia" is often spelled "encyclopedia", "realise" is often spelled "realize", "aluminium" is often spelled "aluminum", and there is a store called Canadian Tire, while there is no such store as Canadian Tyre.

Most Canadians (like every English speaker outside of the USA) pronounce the last letter of the alphabet, "zee", as "zed."^[7] However, they do not pronounce "bee" as "bed", despite its origin from the Greek letter "beta".

Some strange language-related laws have been enacted over time. For example, Law 101, which allows signs to be publicly displayed in Québec only if they are mainly written in French. If there is another language used (not just English), the caption has to be 50% smaller. The law also stated that company names had to be entirely French, which explains why the coffee chain "Tim Hortons" doesn't include an apostrophe before the trailing "s", because that would make it English, therefore evil, even if the company was founded by hockey player Tim Horton. Some other chains like "Taco Bell" simply boycotted the whole province rather than translating their name to French. The province also had its own language police tasked with fining companies that didn't respect the language laws, mostly in ethnic neighbourhoods like Chinatown. There is an urban legend in Montréal about a parrot that was arrested by the language police after multiple offences of repeating an ad slogan in English in front of a store. Luckily, the death penalty had been repealed in 1967 for such horrendous crimes.

Health care/Assurance-maladie[edit]

Canada has had universal health care since 1966. Over 70% is provided by government tax revenue, while around 27% is paid through the private sector for prescription drugs, dental care, among other things. Richer Canadians may head South for healthcare because, while it is uncommon for Canadians to die while waiting for specific medical operations, they do sometimes prefer the slightly faster American system, for those with deep pockets, that is. However, they also do not have people dying because they could not afford to pay for their treatment, something that happens constantly in countries without universal healthcare such as the United States.^[8]

A good majority of Canadians^[9] are satisfied with their coverage.

However, while Canada's system certainly works and has proven to be popular among Canadians, it is far from the best one around.^[10] At present, wait times can be long, sometimes frustratingly so.^[11] Meanwhile, some medical facilities have been closed due to mass resignations.^[12] Overcrowding can happen and, in extreme cases, lead to death.^[13] It is evident, therefore, that the Canadian healthcare system is understaffed and underfunded. To make matters worse, the system is one of the costliest of any developed nation. About 50% of government spending goes towards the nation's healthcare program, and it is projected to reach 80% by 2030,^[14] an unsustainable number.

Despite being politically contentious as some politicians consider it unacceptable that foreigners with deep pockets are able to gain immediate access to medical care while citizens are put on a waiting list, medical tourism could be seen as a source of growth for Canada's economy. Canada is currently a major destination for medical tourism. However, according to the Conference Board of Canada, in 2013, Canadians spent $447 million on healthcare abroad when foreigners spent only $150 million in Canada.^[15]

Flag/Drapeau[edit]

This is Canada.

Since 1965, the official national flag of Canada has been The Maple Leaf (French: L’Unifolié), a red-white-red triband with a giant red maple leaf superimposed over the centre. It is now considered very much a national symbol of the country, representing all Canadians of every stripe and it is literally plastered all over the country to say this is Canadian. Canadians can even get various promotional tools from the government to show off the flag which they can download or purchase.^[16]

This was Canada.

Before the Maple Leaf, there were two official flags of Canada. One was the Royal Union Flag (aka the Union Jack), yes the same flag as the UK, which even today is flown over federal buildings whenever it's the King's birthday. When there needed to be a distinctive Canadian flag, the other flag, the Canadian Red Ensign was flown. The Red Ensign consists of a British red ensign with the Canadian escutcheon as its badge. The flag is still flown over war graveyards, historic buildings and re-enactments today. However in recent years, it has been re-appropriated by the far-right such as the Proud Boys, as a symbol of a traditional Anglo-Saxon Canada against the multicultural mosaic of the Great Far North.^[17][18]

Gay marriage/Mariage homosexuel[edit]

Same-sex marriage was legalized across Canada on July 20, 2005 with the passage of the Civil Marriage Act. Prior to this federal law, many provinces had already passed legislation allowing for same-sex marriages, as while the federal government has constitutional jurisdiction over marriage, the provinces...oh hell, just read the preamble to the Civil Marriage Act if you actually care about the nuances of the division of Canadian constitutional powers.

Abortion/Avortement[edit]

Abortion is fully decriminalized in Canada, having been completely removed from their criminal codes. Therefore it is legal at any point during pregnancy, regardless of the reason, and it is available on request throughout the 24th week of gestation, or the first two trimesters. It is a publicly funded medical procedure under the federal Canada Health Act, and is paid for by the provincial and territorial healthcare systems. First legalized in 1969 for medical reasons, abortion has not been subject to criminal restrictions since 1988, when the Supreme Court found the existing laws to be unconstitutional, thus legalizing it on request for the first time. Following two failed attempts to create new laws shortly thereafter, no serious attempt has been made to enact any abortion legislation since. While there are no laws specifically concerning abortion, it is nonetheless subject to any laws regarding healthcare in general, and can only be legally performed by a licensed medical professional. Although abortion is legal throughout pregnancy, it is regulated by provincial healthcare guidelines set out by the governing medical bodies, and physicians are expected to maintain a standard of ethics. Every province has a gestational age limit, and no province offers abortion on request at or beyond 25 weeks, which is the approximate point of fetal viability. Any abortion after this point may only be performed if a physician determines it to be medically necessary. Although these regulations exist, they are not set into law, making Canada one of only a few countries without any legal restrictions on abortion. Over 90% of abortions take place during the 13 weeks, or the first trimester, and over 99% take place within the first 25 weeks, or first two trimesters. All abortions in the third trimester are performed due to medical complications. Despite the lack of legal restrictions, Canada has a fairly low abortion rate compared to other countries, having declined steadily since decriminalization. One of the largest remaining issues is access to services, as many rural communities have no providers nearby.

Firearms/Armes à feu[edit]

Although firearms are considerably more regulated there than they are in the United States, there are over two million Canadians who are licensed to own guns as of 2016, which is understandable considering the large amount of bears in much of the country.^[19] Canadians are allowed to use force, including lethal force with a firearm, to defend themselves, others, and their property, provided this use of force is justified by a belief on reasonable grounds that a threat was present and that the defensive actions taken were reasonable in the circumstances.^[20][21] Interestingly, despite this, Canadians refuse to shoot each other or themselves at anything approaching the same rate as Americans.^[22]

Multiculturalism/Multiculturalisme[edit]

Toronto Chinatown.

Canada was the first country in the Western world to adopt multiculturalist policies, under Pierre Trudeau in 1971. Now its in the top 20 countries for net migration in the world.^[23] However, while Canada does admit immigrants on humanitarian grounds, it does not accept people with disabilities or those whose immediate family members suffer from the same.^[24]

To the shock of Islamophobes, Canada, having some of the most lenient LGBT rights and abortion laws available, has had comparatively little problems integrating Arabs into secular society compared to Europe.^[25] The most significant terrorist plot was halted due to the efforts of Muslim CSIS (Canada's CIA) agents, Sharia was banned in Ontario after conservative and moderate groups lobbied against it,^[26] and the electoral riding with the largest Muslim population in Canada continues to elect openly gay politicians.^[27] YouTube commenters also went crazy when they saw a Sikh RCMP officer repping the flag at a Stanley Cup game.^[28]

It is, however, a mistake to consider Canada to be a thoroughly secular country. While Canadians tend to reject organized religion, many still hold religious beliefs. For example, 67% believe God exists and 53% think he plays an active role in the world. Of the entire population, only 19% declare they are non-believers. Population growth due to immigration likely contributes to the continued significance of religion in Canada.^[29] A recent poll reveals that about half of all Canadians view Islam unfavorably, though that number is decreasing, with Quebec leading the way.^[30]

Indigenous affairs/Affaires autochtones[edit]

Forced assimilation of natives at St. Paul's Indian Industrial School in Manitoba, 1901.

It is estimated that 1.3 million (3.8 per cent of) Canadians have Aboriginal ancestry, half of whom are Registered Indians. In the Constitution Act 1982 Aboriginal peoples of Canada include the Indian (a term sometimes considered pejorative, and now often replaced with "First Nations" in everyday use), Inuit (part of the people once called Eskimos, now considered to be offensive by some) and Métis peoples (ethnic groups formed from mixed Indigenous and French ancestries). Indians registered under the Indian Act are termed Registered Indians (once called Status Indians) and are entitled to benefits which may not be available to other Indians. Due to the desire for political correctness, there are now multiple often-interchangeable terms in use to refer to these people. (such as "Indigenous peoples" slowly replacing "Aboriginal peoples"), often confusing older Canadians (and others too).

The gap in life expectancy between Indigenous Canadians and other Canadians is now seven years. Infant mortality rates have been halved since 1981 but are still higher than those of other Canadians. The unemployment rate of Registered Indians on reserves is three times the Canadian average. Between 1984 and 1994 the percentage of Indian children remaining in school until year 12 doubled to 75 per cent and post secondary enrolments tripled. In 1997-98 federal expenditure on indigenous matters is estimated at C$6 billion (0.7 per cent of GDP).

The Constitution Act 1867 assigned exclusive legislative authority to the Federal Parliament over 'Indians and lands reserved for Indians'. The Constitution Act 1982 entrenches Aboriginal rights in the constitution and requires the federal and provincial governments to consult with Aboriginal people prior to making any legislation that relates directly to them. Indigenous people's lands represent 6.3 per cent of Canada's land area; they control access to minerals in most of theses areas and receive royalties or compensation for mining. The Canadian Government's 1998 'Statement of Reconciliation' included a declaration that:

"As a country, we are burdened by past actions that resulted in weakening the identity of Aboriginal peoples, suppressing their languages and cultures, and outlawing spiritual practices. We must recognise the impact of these actions on the once self-sustaining nations that were disaggregated, disrupted, limited or even destroyed by the dispossession of traditional territory, by the relocation of Aboriginal people, and by some provisions of the Indian Act."

The Statement included an apology for the Government of Canada's role in the development and administration of special residential schools:

"Particularly to those individuals who experienced the tragedy of sexual and physical abuse at residential schools, and who have carried this burden believing that in some way they must be responsible, we wish to emphasise that what you experienced was not your fault and should never have happened. To those of you who suffered this tragedy at residential schools, we are deeply sorry."^[31]

Illegal immigration/Immigration illégale[edit]

The government of Justin Trudeau has been trying to correct its previous message that entices prospective immigrants to come to Canada because it gives the false impression that Canada has an open-border policy. Some of them even entered the country thinking the Prime Minister invited them.^[32] There has in fact been a surge in the number of illegal immigrants across the US-Canadian border recently.^{[33][note 8]} By September 2017, more than 32,000 asylum claimants have crossed the border into Canada, many of whom "irregular".^{[note 9][34]} Under the Canada-United States Safe Third Country Agreement, a refugee who lands in Canada cannot claim asylum in the U.S. and vice versa. This is intended to prevent refugees from "country shopping", so to speak, since both the U.S. and Canada consider each other a "safe country". Unfortunately, this agreement has gaping loophole: it can be circumvented by avoiding official ports of entry.^[35][36]

Official estimates suggest Canadian immigrants lead the world in unauthorized visa overstays in the U.S.^[37]

Sports/Sports[edit]

Like the US, plenty of professional sports abound in Canada.

Ice Hockey/Hockey sur glace[edit]

Hockey is Canada's most popular sport.^{[citation NOT needed]} There are currently seven Canadian teams in the NHL.

• The Vancouver Canucks have existed for over 50 years and still haven't won a Stanley Cup. They came close, however, in 2011 but lost to the Boston Bruins in 7 games, which triggered an enormous riot in downtown Vancouver on June 15^th 2011.^[38]
• The Calgary Flames play in an actual barn at Scotia Bank Saddledome and have been irrelevant since 1989, when they won their only Stanley Cup to date.
• The Edmonton Oilers are considered the Flames big brother and share a major rivalry with them, known as the "Battle of Alberta". They have five Stanley Cups.
• The Winnipeg Jets used to play in Atlanta GA as the Thrashers, but after it finally became clear nobody in Atlanta gives a shit about hockey^{[citation NOT needed]}, they emigrated to Winnipeg.
• The Toronto Maple Leafs are Canada's biggest embarrassment.^{[citation NOT needed]} The good news is, they have 13 cups. The bad news is they haven't won since 1967. To put this into perspective, The Andy Griffith Show was still in production when the Leafs won the their most recent cup.
• The Montreal Canadians have the most Stanley Cups in the NHL. They also hold Canada's most recent cup, won in 1993. Unsurprisingly, this is the team where all the Canadian bandwagons have flocked too.
• The Ottawa Senators exist.^[39]

In 2020, Canada ended up hosting the entirety of the Stanley Cup Playoffs due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Games were played in Rogers Place and Scotiabank Arena, home of the Oilers and Maple Leafs respectively, without fans in attendance. The Tampa Bay Lightning beat the Dallas Stars in six games and won the 2020 Covid Cup Stanley Cup.

Canada is also home to the Canadian Hockey League (CHL).

Baseball/Le baseball[edit]

Canada is also the only country outside the United States to have a Major League baseball team. Currently the Toronto Blue Jays are the only Canadian team that is part of the MLB; however, at one point there also was the Montreal Expos (who emigrated to Washington, D.C. in 2004 and became the Washington Nationals.) ("Expo" was short for "Exposition" in reference to a fair held in Montreal in 1967.^[40]) The Toronto Blue Jays won the World Series in 1992 and 1993, despite having a Canadian on the team (Rob Butler is the only Canadian to win a World Series with a Canadian baseball team). The Blue Jays temporarily played in Buffalo New York during the 2020 season, due to border travel issues related to the COVID-19 outbreak.

Ever since the Expos - who played in an awful stadium and had their only potential championship season cut short by a strike - left, there has been talk about MLB moving or expanding into Montreal once more. Of course, half of the Franchise relocation talk in any sport is just to extort money out of cities to build the existing franchises bigger stadiums. On June 20th 2019, the Tampa Bay Rays announced plans to consider playing the 2^nd half of future seasons in Montreal, essentially becoming a 2 city team^[41]... you read that right, a two city team. To the utter shock of no one, this idea has been killed dead by MLB, and was likely only a wedge for the owner to extract some public funding for a stadium.

Basketball/Le basketball[edit]

Toronto is also home to Canada's only NBA team, the Toronto Raptors, who won the NBA Finals in 2019 over the Golden State Warriors.

Football (soccer)[edit]

Professional football (soccer) teams in Canada can be found in two different leagues, Major League Soccer (MLS) and the Canadian Premier Leauge. Canada has three Major League Soccer (MLS) teams, The Vancouver Whitecaps, the Toronto FC, and Montreal Impact: which would be great, if anyone gave a shit about soccer in Canada (some do). Canada has its own football (soccer) league called the Canadian Premier League, which was formed in 2017 and began in 2019. The league has 8 teams, from the cities of Ottawa, Edmonton, Calgary, Winnipeg, Victoria, Halifax, York and Hamilton. The Vancouver Whitecaps, Toronto FC and Montreal impact have refused to move to the CPL because they will earn less money. Expansions into other major cities have also been planned.

Football (The REAL... or in this case not, football)[edit]

An even bigger joke than the aforementioned is the Canadian Football League (CFL), a league that uses a way larger field than American Football, only 3 downs instead of the standard 4, and a bunch of other brain-meltingly unnecessary changes. Understandably, most Canadians don't give a shit about the CFL, as 52% of Canadians prefer the Superbowl over its Canadian brother, the Grey Cup.^[42] Leave it to the CFL to also end up driving a 120 year old/9 time championship team, the Ottawa Rough Riders, into bankruptcy and eventual disbanding due to... of all things... FINANCIAL ISSUES. Thankfully, for the 50 people in Ottawa who care, a new team joined in 2014 called the Ottawa Redblacks.

In 2020, the season was cancelled due to the COVID-19 pandemic, as unlike other major sports, the CFL relies too heavily on gate revenue to play in any type of fan-less environment.

Beer/Bière[edit]

Canadian beer drinkers are especially proud of their beer, thanks to a myth about Canadian beer being stronger than American beer.^[43] In fact, beer commercials account for roughly half of all displays of Canadian patriotism since the most popular beer happens to be called Molson Canadian.^[44]

Food/Nourriture[edit]

Poutine (not to be confused with Putin or putain) is a made in Canada dish made of French fries, 'hot chicken sauce' and cheese curds. It is commonly served at Canadian McDonalds. The American version in northern states often substitutes cheese curd with shredded mozzarella.

Canadian bacon (not the movie) is referred to internally as back bacon and is often maple-flavored.

Spawned from Canada is Tim Hortons, a popular fast food chain that serves coffee, donuts, and other stuff. Although founded in Canada, they have since expanded to other countries. They can be found on just about every corner of existence in Canada.

Cannabis/Cannabis[edit]

As of 17 October 2018, recreational cannabis was legalized across the country. What was once a stereotype of people from a certain western province was now legal for purchase in any province or territory in Canada, the rub being that said provinces and territories were left to figure out exactly how they were going to control it. The minimum age to purchase cannabis is 19 in most provinces and territories (18 in Alberta; 21 in Quebec).^[45] However, the years following legalization has not led to a drastic upswing in crime.^[46]

The city that fun forgot/La ville que le plaisir a oublié[edit]

Ottawa, Canada's capital city, is supposedly "The city that hosers fun forgot", but it is probably the international adultery capital of the world; about 20% of residents have Ashley Madison accounts.^[47]

How Canada got its name/Comment le Canada s'est fait nommer[edit]

Way back when Canada became a nation, a group of citizens met at a Tim Hortons Country Style to decide what the new country would be called. Somebody just happened to have a game of Scrabble and they decided to take turns drawing letters, and thus would the country be named. The first person drew the letter C and called out, "C, eh?" The second person drew an N and called out, "N, eh?" The third person drew a D ("eh?").

Ha ha. But seriously, it's a misunderstanding of the Huron-Iroquois word for "village" (kanata).^[48]

Just to be clear, Canada has nothing to do with Kannada, a Dravidian language spoken in southern India.

U.N. Peacekeeping/Casques bleus[edit]

Canada has built up a reputation for UN peacekeeping, largely thanks to its creation of modern peacekeeping during the Suez Crisis in 1956. Lester B. Pearson, head of the Canadian U.N. delegation and future prime minister, was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for this. However, the 1993 Somalia Affair, in which Canadian soldiers tortured to death a suspected thief during a U.N. mission in Somalia, led to a significant reduction in Canadian contributions to peacekeeping efforts.^[49] Apart from a handful of missions, notably Mali, most recent peacekeeping missions have been token contributions.

Canadian peacekeeping success is largely a myth in recent years, perpetuated by selective memory and the rhetoric of various prime ministers. In recent years, the U.N. has stopped waiting for Canada to contribute.^[50]

Science/Science[edit]

The Canadian Space Agency (CSA)^{[note 10]} currently has in orbit the Microvariability and Oscillations of STars (MOST), or colloquially the Humble Space Telescope, the smallest of its kind.^[51] Its name is likely a reference to its American counterpart, the Hubble Space Telescope, one of the largest ever put into orbit. Speaking of space, the Canadarm, a remarkable feat of robotics, plays a key role in the logistics of the International Space Station. It was in fact the first piece of robotics of any size being deployed in space. Although the algorithms used are quite commonplace nowadays, it was a true technological breakthrough in the 1980s, when it was introduced. There are now two such devices, the original Canadarm and the Canadarm 2, working in tandem.^[52] The CSA partners with NASA and the European Space Agency (ESA) for many of its projects.

In medicine, diabetes patients can thank Canadian medical researchers who first isolated insulin. They earned the Nobel Prize in Medicine or Physiology in 1923.^[53] More recently, the Canadian Public Health Agency, in collaboration with the United States Army, succeeded in creating a vaccine against the Ebola virus.^{[54][note 11]}

Unfortunately, however, a recent survey reveals that a surprisingly large number Canadians confuse (scientific) facts with opinions, as are that of those holding unscientific views. Fifty-two percent of respondents think genetically modified food is unsuitable for consumption. This is in fact one of the topics in which there is a stark contrast between the scientific consensus and public opinion. Forty-seven percent do not believe in the reality of (anthropogenic) global warming and climate change. And nineteen percent assert there is a link between vaccination and autism. In all, one sees a widespread lack of understanding of the scientific method, which is not healthy for a democracy. On the bright side, though, a majority would like to better understand science and how it affects the world.^[55]

Science fiction/Science-fiction[edit]

One of Canada's main exports is science fiction shows, such as the Stargate franchise, Sanctuary, Lexx, and Orphan Black. Also The Starlost, though Canadians pretend that didn't happen. Sydney Newman, creator of the British science fiction show Doctor Who, was also Canadian. Also, science fiction novels by Robert J. Sawyer, Robert Charles Wilson, Spider Robinson, and other dudes with the syllable "Rob" in their names. And Cory Doctorow. And William Gibson.^{[note 12]}

...and Margaret Atwood. And William Shatner, who plays Captain James T. Kirk in the Star Trek franchise.

Quebec sovereignty/Souverainisme québécois[edit]

For many years, Canada has had an issue with the Quebec sovereignty movement, which aims for Quebec to gain independence from Canada. Notably, the paramilitary group Front de libération du Québec (FLQ) tried to overthrow the Quebec government to establish a socialist "worker's society" (read: what a French-speaking equivalent to Hugo Chávez-era Venezuela could have been), which led to the October Crisis. The FLQ also made a manifesto, which stated that then-Quebec premier Robert Bourassa would have had to face "100,000 revolutionary workers, armed and organized" in "the coming year" (which never happened, owing to the FLQ's self-destruction), and even called Pierre Trudeau "a queer". The majority of the FLQ members were later paroled (which was counter-productive for the Quebec sovereignty movement considering they rejected the FLQ), and all of those who voluntarily defected to Cuba had returned to Canada, with some completing short prison sentences in Canada.

Some affiliated with the Quebec sovereignty movement are also to blame for the notorious Charter of the French Language, making Quebec's sole official language French (even if Quebec residents speak other languages like English or Spanish) which has been challenged legally several times throughout the decades. When Quebec's educational broadcaster Tele-Quebec was given a proposal to add English-language programming, they objected saying anglophones were already well-served by commercial English-language broadcasters... despite the proposal calling for the addition of cultural & educational English-language programming. The then-Bloc Québécois leader Martine Ouellet also stated, in her infinite wisdom, that she felt it was "not surprising" that the Anglophones of Quebec felt "entitled to demand more."

Royal Canadian Mounted Police/Gendarmerie royale du Canada[edit]

The Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) are the official federal and national police service of Canada, operating mostly (but not totally) outside of Quebec and Ontario, in areas that lack standard police authority. Despite their name, they are no longer an actual mounted police force, as horses are now only used at ceremonial events (And sometimes for riding through the Tim Hortons drive-thru^[56]). In total, they provide service in more than 150 municipalities, 600 Indigenous communities, and three international airports within Canada.

For decades, the RCMP have been endlessly parodied in popular culture. The popular Dudley-Do-Right cartoons star the titular character as a dimwitted realistic stereotypical Canadian Mountie who has nothing better to do than to save helpless women tied to railroad tracks. In later years, even the British got in on the fun with Monty Python's Flying Circus, featuring a group of Mounties singing the chorus in The Lumberjack Song in the lumberjack sketch. Indeed, the RCMP today is about as iconic as the Maple Leaf (the actual leaf, not the hockey team in Toronto).

Children's television/Télévision pour enfants[edit]

Another one of Canada's main exports is children's television series. Notable Canuck kids' shows include Degrassi, Franklin, Little Bear, PAW Patrol, and Johnny Test. Also Caillou, which (American) soccer moms have blamed for almost everything bad their kids do except for maybe growing up to be a quack, Christian apologist, or a New Atheist. Canada has had it's own kids' TV shows, notably Mr. Dressup (a Canadian equivalent to Mister Rogers' Neighborhood) and The Friendly Giant. The CBC had a long-running Canadian version of Sesame Street, originally titled Canadian Sesame Street and then Sesame Park, though most Canadians forget it existed thanks to the American version overtaking it in popularity. Another case of original programming is the afternoon block The Zone, airing on the cable channel YTV (considered Canada's answer to Nickelodeon).

Famous Canadian/Canadiens célèbres[edit]

• Ted Cruz: Now a United States wingnut conspiracy-licking senator. Major COVID denialist
• John Edgar Dick: inventor of cancer stem cell
• Henry Morgentaler: abortion rights advocate
• Pete Parker (Not Spider-Man): one of the first people to ever broadcast an ice hockey game
• Steven Pinker: Famous neuroscientist
• James Randi: Famous magician and debunker
• Alan Watt: Conspiracy loon with a laughably bad website
• William Shatner, oddly enough

See also/Voir aussi[edit]

• Canadian provinces
• Political parties of Canada
• They put gravy and cheese curds on French fries
• Why can't I own a Canadian?
• Arctic
• North America
• North American Union
• NAFTA
• Trans-Pacific Partnership
• Stephen Harper
• Lauren Southern
• Toronto Sun
• CBC

Sexy Canadian videos (SFW)/Les vidéos canadiennes sexy (SFW)[edit]

• Rick Mercer explains Canada
• Canadian Beavers
• Want Canadian citizenship? Waking up Canadian
• I'm Glad I Live in Canada
• In Canada

Notes/Notes[edit]

References/Références[edit]