Eric Jon Phelps

The body of Joe Biden with the mind of Alex Jones.

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Eric Jon Phelps (1953–) (also known as Brother Eric) is an author and pastor who seeks to create a white ethnostate called ProBaptiCal.^{[1][dead link]} Phelps is a fast-talking (i.e. pulling "facts" out of his arse), white supremacist, flat Earther, conspiracy theorist, Obama birther, and Christian fundamentalist Zionist. Phelps is known in the fundamentalist Christian and conspiracy theorist circles for his magnum opus Vatican Assassins^[2] and the Eric Jon Phelps Show. Phelps is also a writer of alternate histories — and not the Harry Turtledove kind, because Phelps believes these alternate history narratives to be true. He’s best known for conspiracy theories involving the Society of Jesus (the Jesuits) and preaches this anti-Catholic message wherever he goes.^[3]

Phelps is not related to the Phelpses of the Westboro Baptist Church, though the crankery, wingnuttery, and hate-mongering which both hold in common may lead one to think otherwise.^[3] Phelps always says he loves everyone and doesn’t hate anyone, but cloaks his bigotry by hiding behind the Bible. He is known for spewing copious loads of unsubstantiated, fabricated nonsense against Catholics and against innocent people he disagrees with by tarring and feathering them as being members of what Phelps considers a nefarious organization. When he wishes to emphasize some ahistoric idiocy he wishes to spew, he does so in a high-pitched screeching voice. When he speaks to African Americans, he takes the tone of a Southern "Massa" calling African Americans "boys".

TL;DR: Eric Jon Phelps is to racial minorities and Catholics what Fred Phelps was to homosexuals. Smack yourself if you didn't think of that first.

Life[edit]

Phelps was born in 1953 into, as he describes it, an apostate Protestant family and raised as an atheist communist.^{[4][dead link]} His paternal grandparents were communists, but his father developed an anti-communist bias. His maternal grandparents were apostate Protestants^{[4][dead link]} from Beloit, WI, and members of the Ku Klux Klan and the Orangemen — two organizations that sought to eradicate Catholicism.^[5] Phelps indicates his maternal grandfather loved and treated him as his son and that this love was mutual. His grandfather hated Catholics and blacks and was against black and whites integrating and warned him against dating Catholics. He recalls that when he told his paternal grandmother (the communist), whom he describes as greatly intelligent, that the Vatican was working with the Roosevelt White House to supply the Soviet Union weapons, she told him "you are out to sea in a row boat".^[5] She appears to be the only one possessing a smart gene in the Phelps pedigree, which Phelps, himself, unfortunately, did not inherit.

He was raised on Limerick Street in Tara Hills, CA, a predominantly-Catholic town.^[3] He heard the Gospel for the first time when one of his friend’s brothers was saved. After an accident in 1971, while laid up in bed, he got saved after reading the Gospel of John. After high school, he joined the US Air Force where he remained for five years. Upon leaving the Air Force, he joined a Baptist Bible college.^[4] He left the college after he determined that they were apostates and studied at the Lancaster Bible College in Pennsylvania, which he found was even worse.^{[4][dead link]}

Phelps is currently married with four children.^[6] He currently resides in Newmanstown, PA.

The turning point in his life occurred at the age of 10 when his fourth-grade teacher, Ms. Beals (whom he appears to have had a crush on), came in "crying and weeping" and informed the class that the President (Kennedy) had been shot. Always the White Dragoon Knight, Phelps promised to figure out the killer. On seeing Lyndon B. Johnson take the oath of office, he knew from his guilty looks that LBJ did it.^{[4][dead link][7][dead link]}

Phelps has little-to-no formal education in any of the subjects in which he claims to be an "expert" or anything else. Prior to peddling his inane conspiracy theories as a means of a livelihood, he mixed and laid concrete for a living.

Reformation Bible Puritan Baptist Church[edit]

On April 13, 2011, Eric founded the Reformation Bible Puritan Baptist Church of the White European-North American Fellowship in Newmanstown PA.^[8] It's a congregation of White Anglo-Saxon-Celtic-Slavic born-again and water-baptized believers.^[8] He holds the office of elder bishop in this church and founded it to preach of the true gospel of the Risen Lord Jesus Christ to white-raced peoples of North America, Europe, Southern Africa, and Australia. The church is only open to believers who agree with the Confession of the Faith of the church. Membership in the church is at the sole discretion of Phelps.^[8] It is unknown if membership is open to non-White non-Europeans at this time.

The Reformation Bible Puritan Baptist Church hold to the following historic Baptist Distinctives:^[8]

1. Believer’s Baptism by Immersion
2. Autonomy/Self-rule of the Local Church
3. Priesthood of all Believers
4. Two Ordinances: Baptism and Lord’s Supper
5. Individual Sole Liberty/Freedom of Conscience
6. Separation of Church and State
7. Two Offices: Bishop and Deacon
8. Saved Church Membership

As with any fundamentalist, there is a premium placed on being saved. Since church membership is only opened to saved persons, Phelps requires that candidates for membership complete the following 'getting saved' steps before applying:

• Admit you are a sinner and come short of the glory of god
• Be willing to turn from sin and repent
• Believe that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead
• Upon believing in the gospel, god declares you to be righteous and saves you by his grace

Soteriology[edit]

Now that you're saved and have a free ticket to Mt. Olympus; you obviously can murder, rape and pillage, be a slaver, be a racist, hatemonger, liar, fabulist, and a general obnoxious a-hole and never have a worry because once you are saved you are always saved, never having performed a single good deed in your miserable lifetime. Once Ur Anus grandfather god imputes righteousness, you have to just sit on the sidelines and be the biggest f-ing racist clown around, yet the Protestant's sins are being constantly transferred onto Hey Zeus' head while Hey Zeus' righteousness is continually placed on the biggest f-ing racist clown's head. The bigger the a-hole you are, the more you begin to look like Hey Zeus. Ur Anus grandfather god, is so stupid that he mistakes the biggest f-ing racist clown for his grandson god Hey Zeus and lets him into Mt. Olympus. And it gets only better: you are a saint despite being the biggest f-ing racist clown and general d-bag. Salvation! Woohoo!!!

TL;DR: Take everything wrong with sola scriptura and rip the mask off to let the crazy imp go streaking through the neighborhood, pissing all over everyone whose opinions aren't in complete agreement with fundie wackiness.

King James Onlyism[edit]

Phelps is a King James Bible (aka 1611 Authorized Version, KJV) Onlyist.^[4][7] The 1611 authorized version of the bible is the only true word of god and was authorized by the great King James who did so at the behest of the Puritans.^[7] It is the greatest English literary work. It is a second inspiration through the translators who are the most educated of all men. The King James Bible has the breath of god on it. For all his effort,s King James died in obscurity without a marker for his grave.^[7] The reality is that he is entombed at Westminster Abbey next to his wife Anne of Denmark in a rather ornate tomb.

The Arab people should be thankful to the white Anglo-Saxon men for giving them the bible in Arabic translated from the KJV.^[7] The reality is that there were already bibles in Arabic since the 10th Century. In 1671, under the direction of Sergius Risi, the Catholic Archbishop of Damascus produced Bibles in Arabic for the Arab-speaking Christians (who all happened to be Catholics or Orthodox).

Pseudoscience[edit]

Modern science is an invention of the Jesuits, the Catholics, and the Vatican. Bible-believing Christians must go back to the science of the Bible which is the word of God.

Geocentrism[edit]

Phelps favors a return to the Julian calendar and getting rid of the Jesuit and Vatican-invented Gregorian calendar that promotes their heliocentric solar system,^[9] and he takes issue with Copernicus, Kepler, and Newton. According to him, the universe is geocentric. He contends that no one has proven a heliocentric solar system to this day. The heliocentric model has much to do with the Babylon mystery religions' sun worship that began in Babylon and was perfected in Egypt.^[9]

Flat Earth[edit]

Flat Earth model of Prof. Orlando Ferguson to which Eric Jon Phelps subscribes.

Phelps claims that he has woken up to the reality of the flat Earth. Thus, it is one of the more-recent conspiracy theories he has given his voice to — after all, being a demagogue for a few already, what would it matter if another inanity is added to the soup? Phelps uses Bible verses to prove that the earth is flat. The particular flat earth model to which Phelps ascribes is the Ferguson Model as envisioned by Prof. Orlando Ferguson in 1893.^[9][10] According to Phelps, the bible does not teach the existence of a round, rotund earth. Instead, he posits an earth that sits upon the water that allows for Noah's flooding event of Genesis to occur.

He claims that no pilot has seen the Earth's curvature because it would require that the pilot continually descends at the rate of 8 inches per 1 mile of travel. Since this doesn't happen, the earth must be flat.^[10] The spherical earth is a conspiracy of NASA, which merely Photoshopped images to make it look like a sphere, just as they did with the moon landings. According to Phelps, images of the spherical earth have been photoshopped or faked.^[10]

Race relations – and then there were none[edit]

The Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) lists Phelps's church as a hate group.^[3] Phelps has countered the accusation as a preacher of hate by stating that he loves people of all races, claiming that he only believes in the separation of races.^[3] He makes an exception for Jewish people in his country, as he wants them hanging around.^[3] He is one of the good racists, as he indicates that he does not hate anyone excepting sin. He has claimed that the SPLC has targeted his church because the SPLC leaders are loyal to the Roman Catholic Church.

Phelps is a racial segregationist and condemns SCOTUS over the Brown v. Board of Education decision. He also is of the opinion that Amendment XIV to the Constitution of the United States is not law as it was not ratified – a myth that continues to live on to this day. The Warren Court, he surmises should have ignored Amendment XIV in the Brown decision.^[11]

God divided the flat earth and assigned living space (Lebensraum?) for each race, language, and culture to keep people apart. God intended separation and segregation since the time of Noah.^[11] However, the popes are preachers of unity and brotherhood among men and, therefore, are working against god and, thusly, are busy serving the devil.^[11] According to Phelps, in the Millennial Kingdom (heaven?) everyone will be divided by their race, ethnicity, and culture into nations as it always has been the plan of god to keep the peoples apart.

The Jesuits seek to create racial strife between the races to incite a coming race war in order to install a military dictatorship and establish a New World Order and a new Right, fascist government.^[11] The drug trade and Medellin cartel is run by the Pope, the Bush crime family, the CIA, and the Jesuits.^[11] The Jesuits have wrecked the countries in Central and South America in an effort to cause an invasion of the United States by Mexicans and Hispanics loyal to the Vatican. In the ensuing white backlash, white people (specifically, white Anglo-Saxon Protestants) will be driven to desperation by forced integration and miscegenation policies. The desperate white Protestants will round up people of other races and put them into 600 concentration camps around the United States.^[1][11] Phelps pleads with the people of other nations, races, and cultures to leave before they are killed and wants all Hispanics to get out of the United States.^[11] According to Phelps, black savages strip white women, put oil on them, and iron every inch of their skin and gang rape them.^[7]

Integration of professional sports has caused the domination and takeover by black persons who have the advantages of genetics and disposition for sports that were once enjoyed and played by white people.^[11] He laments that there are few white persons playing in the NFL. He questions why, if black people are genetically predisposed for sports which is a quality that is celebrated, white persons cannot celebrate their genetic advantage of intellectual superiority.^[11]

Phelps faults the modern science of anthropology for being devoid of biblical teaching and not referencing scripture.^[11] According to Phelps, pagans, communists, infidels, and atheists make the claim that mankind is naturally good, and this goes against the biblical principle that man is evil (because the bible tells him so).^[11] This contradicts the only two faiths that had anything to with the writing and canonization of the bible: Jews (Old Testament) and Catholics (New Testament) who teach that man is naturally good (yetzer tov) but has a concupiscence which can lead to evil (yetzer ra).^[12][13]

Phelps questions why no black Baptist pastor has invited him to preach in their churches and to their congregations. He calls these Baptist pastors racist, sexist bigots for not having done so.^[1] Perhaps it might be because Phelps is not an ordained pastor and only self-proclaimed as the elder bishop of his anti-black church. Perhaps a black pastor and his congregation do not want a half-witted, racist blowhard preaching at his church. Perhaps, the lack of an invitation to preach at a black church ought to be self-explanatory, but, given the lack of intellect demonstrated by Phelps, a stupid question is merely par for the course.

Slavery as biblical good[edit]

According to Phelps, the bible is not against slavery, and slavery itself is good and fulfills the needs of society.^[5] Phelps claims that the Vatican and the Jesuits could not stand the fact that white Protestants were profiting from slavery, which is the reason for Roman Catholic animosity towards that institution.^[5] He contends that blacks were fitted for servitude and that there are some whites who are the same (Slavs, Irish?).^[5] The Vatican and the Jesuits conspired to cause the Yankees to declare an unrighteous war on the South where the blacks were happy being slaves of white Protestants in Virginia, North and South Carolina, and Georgia. Slavery is a natural societal institution, but the Vatican wanted to upset this natural institution of man. To prevent engagement in this natural institution, the government has to introduce socialism, and that is why the Vatican wants to implement that system.^[5] This is the goal of the Jesuits. According to Phelps, the white race is the greatest servants of god. His evidence is that not one black contributed to Protestant systematic theology. God used the superior race to bring about the Reformation, but he also indicates that because whites are the superior race they have greater responsibilities to bare. He also indicates that all the popes have been white as the most evil people are also white. The blacks can submit to white Protestants or work against them.^[5]

A little later in the interview, he claims that the popes were mulattos, so it is hard keeping track with his stream of consciousness narrative as he frequently is given to contradiction as it suits his immediate narrative purpose. In this case, while discussing why the Catholic Church would be against the Catholic middle class, he explained that all the popes were mulattos and mulattoes would sell their race for anything.^[5] When it suits his purpose, the popes are all white or all mulattoes depending on his narrative. These contradictions in the details lead one to believe that Phelps merely concocts his narrative on the fly rather than giving much thought to the details of his rants. The reality is that African Christians did contribute to the systematic theology of the early Church and are counted among the Church Fathers. This means that their contribution was made solely to the systematic theology of the Catholic Church and not to Protestantism. Minucius Felix, Cyprian, Lactantius, Optatus of Milevi and Augustine were all Africans and contributed to Catholic systematic theology. Augustine (a Catholic saint and theologian), whom many Protestants appeal to for their own systematic theology, was an African Amazigh man.^[14] Tertullian, an ecclesiastical writer, was also an African who contributed much to Catholic theology.^[14] Three popes were Africans^[15] two of whom would be considered black. Also, one of the Medici popes was biracial.

ProBaptiCal, the beautiful, great white onlyist north[edit]

The area of the United States which Phelps claims for his future nation Probaptical

Phelps, under the impression that Hillary Clinton was set to win the 2016 Presidential election,^{[16][dead link]} came unhinged; ok maybe not, because he always gives the impression that he is somewhere out in the deep. He claims that Trump was chosen by the Jesuits to hand the election to “Hellcat” Hillary just as they chose Bernie Sanders to run against Clinton. Trump knows the game and is playing along, controlled by the Jesuits.^[4] Phelps pleads for a separate nation in North America where white, North European Protestants can have a homeland and safe haven, away from the savage blacks who victimize and lynch white persons, where his people will not be attacked and beaten down by the powers that be.^[16] He extolls his audience to support him in his endeavor by donating to the cause.^[16] One has to wonder where everyone else who does not happen to be a white, North European Protestant already residing within the boundaries of the future nation state Phelps envisions will have to go. He claims that Pennsylvania is under U.S, Government occupation and wants the United States to end its occupation of his state.^[9] When Pennsylvania gains independence from the United States, he will make Pennsylvania into a country. He plans to call this new nation Probaptical.^[9] Which is, after all, a Protestant Baptist Calvinist state (yes, everyone else is aware - apart from the Baptists - that Baptists are, indeed, Protestant despite their special pleading otherwise).

The police force will be made up of Calvinist Janissaries based on Papa Doc Duvalier's Tonton Macoute and armed with .357 magnums.^[6] They will be tasked to keep the peace of the new nation. They will be plainclothesmen, enforcing summary justice by shooting every purse snatcher or thief.^[6] They will also have the additional task of ferreting out foreign intelligence agents of all other nations including Catholics and Jesuits.^[6] These persons would be put to death. The Catholic Church and the Roman hierarchy are against strong nations and nationalists^[6] and should, therefore, be considered enemies of the state as they would break down barriers. According to Phelps, the pope is the greatest bridge builder.^[6] All Catholic churches and universities will be closed and turned into museums where the evils of Catholicism will be laid bare for the people.^[6] Likewise, the Freemasonic lodges will be closed and will serve the same purpose as the Catholic churches.^[6] Jews will be permitted to reside but will not be permitted to race mix.^[6][1] However, dirty filth Catholic Jews will be put to death - Geraldo Rivera being one of these detestable person.^[6]

Phelps believes that academia is the bulwark of freedom.^[6] The university will be based the bible.^[6] If a university departs from the Bible as the sole rule of faith, it will be shut down.^[6] If a university's faculty teach what Phelps determines to be revisionist history, they will be put to death or exiled.^[6] Teaching socialism will be considered a crime, though he does not stipulate a penalty for this offence.^[6] Schooling of persons will consist of learning from the English Reformation Bible - the KJV, and learning of the evils of Jesuitism.^[6] Probaptical will be a nation of men who carry the Bible in one hand and a gun in the other.^[6]

According to Phelps, sex is not for fun but for bringing lots of white babies into this world. However, not giving your wife an orgasam in the marriage bed is a sin, according to Phelps, who admits he likes grabbing his wife's vagina.^[6] If a woman has a bastard child, the child will be taken from her and adopted by a married couple gaining the right as a legitimate child in the new family.^[6] Women will earn the equivalent of $500 for each child produced. Mothers will be given money and medals in the same manner as was the case in Hitler's Germany.^[6] The new nation will not issue birth certificates, but families will write the names of their children in the Family Bible as has been done for centuries.^[6]

His nation will be powered by electromagnetic motors which would be under the governance of the church (which would, we assume appoint him pope) and would be a ministry of the church.^[16] The electromagnetic motors will power D cell batteries.^[6] All power in the new nation will be by DC not AC. All cars will be powered by electricity.^[6] He expects the white people from all over the world will flock to this new nation to learn how to govern their own nations in accordance with the bible. He requests that listeners make a donation towards making this dream of an independent white homeland a reality.^[16] This new nation will end the use of the Gregorian Calendar and, instead, implement the Julian Calendar.^[9]

Free trade is a Catholic economic system that was influenced by the Jesuits (though true in some ways, this is, as usual, a forgone conclusion as the Jesuits are to blame for everything).^[6] The nation will have very high tariff against goods manufactured outside its borders. The high tariffs will allow for goods manufactured in Probaptical to trade at fair market value.^[6]

Phelps always thinks on a grand scale; he always goes BIG. After all, this is his own imaginary world where he is the boss. If you cannot be the boss in your own mind, where else can you ever be? Phelps is under the impression that when the nation of Probaptical is created, the denizens of this new nation are going to automatically crown him their leader. If crankery and wingnuttery are the primary criteria in such a leader, even then Phelps would have to contend with every patient at the lunatics’ asylum for that position. He might just win that contest; one may never know.

Such is the Secret Life of Eric Jon Phelps, a tale which should have been narrated by James Thurber. It is the story of a little, unknown man of no consequence from Hicksville USA, of no education but with a grand dream of freedom and conquest.

Phelps's new nation will enshrine and preserve the historic, beautiful, high and mighty, rhythmic English language as the official language of the nation.^[1]

Only persons who profess the following tenets will be allowed to run for office in his new nation:^[1]

• Triune god
• Deityship of Christ
• Virgin birth
• Resurrection
• Redemption through the blood of Christ

Role of women[edit]

Women's primary duty in the ProBaptiCal nation is to sexually gratify their husbands and be mothers who are to receive money and medals for breeding the future generation of white children - and lots of them.^[6] Since this is the woman's primary role in Probaptical, they would not be allowed to hold public office^[17] as this would detract from their primary purpose. Phelps finds that many women emasculate men, and these women he terms "white witches".^[17] Women will not be able to own property, nor will they be afforded equal rights.^[17] Phelps suggests that women who want equal rights must get out of his country.^[17] It is men who fight for the country and not women - with added responsibility comes rights.^[17] Replace white, Anglo-Saxon Protestant with Mohammedan and what do you have? That's right - Sharia law. Recognize it yet?

Criticism[edit]

Attempting to take Phelps seriously is akin to believing that the sky will fall on Chicken Little's head within the next week. As laughable as Phelps's proposition is, it is still worthwhile to examine the repercussions of giving into Phelps's demands. One can only imagine the ludicrous nature of his demand that the United States give him Pennsylvania as HIS homeland to rule over! The insanity of the demand is proportional to the buffoonery of the buffoon making that demand. Given that 29% of Pennsylvania's population is Catholic and 11.3% of the population is made up of Black Americans, one has to wonder how Phelps will manage to convince these people to leave his white-only Protestant-only state. Using standard redistribution, this is about 37% of the population (actually more - as fewer blacks tend to be Catholic, this number is very likely higher, closer to 39%) that will be required to leave the state. This is not taking into account Hispanics (who are largely Catholic anyway) and Asians who reside in the state. They may have to be duly compensated, exiled without compensation, or executed. Any federal party which gave into Phelps demands for a nation he can call his own is likely never again to get re-elected in the United States as 8 million displaced persons denounce the Federal Government and demand war against the fledgling nation of ProBaptiCal. Given that Phelps is a jackass with no worthwhile education and given to imbecility, he will not instill any confidence in businesses or the people as they begin moving out of the state. Of course, there are going to be 8 million persons clamouring for war against ProBaptiCal. It might not be surprising that the day after ProBaptiCal gains independence to find a hanged, drawn-and-quartered carcass of Supreme Theocratic Fuhrer, Phelps, displayed on a makeshift gibbet, which is the usual fate of many unpopular autocrats the world over.

Phelps v. Obama et al[edit]

Phelps filed suit in the United States District Court Middle District of Pennsylvania against Barack Obama and Jacob Lew on 23 December 2015. To this day, no one is certain as to what the suit was about, save, perhaps, maybe, conceivably Phelps himself (one hopes). Phelps attempted to file the suit with volumes of indecipherable documents, so much so that the Clerk of the Court was directed not to file the document.

The district judge who entertained Phelps's attempt to refile the case was only able to decipher that it was something about Phelps wanting to be excluded from paying taxes as a sovereign citizen, perhaps. The plea was dismissed as the court lacked the authority to hear the case because the claims were so attenuated and unsubstantial, absolutely devoid of merit, obviously frivolous, and no longer open to discussion.^[18]

A subsequent refiling was made regarding something about the Pope, Catholics, invasion by Mexicans, etc. Judge Sylvia H. Rambo (an obvious Jesuit underling) could not decipher exactly what Phelps was wanting in relief except that:

The court refused to reconsider the previous dismissal as the judge was not able to decipher a claim which would fall within the court’s jurisdiction.^[19]

Apophenia[edit]

The Emergency Banking Act was enacted on March 9, 1933. Helping us do the math, Phelps adds the number of the month (3) to the date (9) and adds the year (3+3), then divides it by three to get 666. To Phelps, this is Kabbalist numerology.^[7] Unfortunately for Phelps, that day was 11th of Adar, 5693, in the Hebrew calendar which is what is used in Kabbalah numerology. Using the minor Hebrew era (לפרט קטן), one ends up with 35, and, using the major era (לפרט גדול), one ends with 46.

Alternate history[edit]

Phelps is one of the few persons who lives not only in a full-time alternate reality but full-time in an alternative historical universe – that is, if he believes what rolls out of his mouth. Beginning to debunk even a five-minute segment of one of his rants requires a few pages of correction to his ahistorical narrative of world history. In this ahistorical universe, Catholics, Jesuits, Vatican popes, and the Knights of Malta (Catholic, Protestant, and Freemasonic associations use this name) are invariably the antagonists. This is the Manichean world in which Phelps somehow manages to survive. However, many conspiracy theorists consider him among the most learned historians and researchers of our time – which is understandable.

Claims made by Phelps[edit]

The Roman Catholic Church is the continuation of the Roman Empire which itself was Babylonian - the Catholic Church is, obviously, the Whore of Babylon.^[5]
The Roman Empire has no direct connection to Babylon whether religiously or historically. All civilizations at the time had deities; however, there is a major difference between Babylonian and Roman deities. The Babylonians worshipped gods who were in the actual object worshiped (worshiped the sun as a god) while the Romans worshiped personal gods who had governance over the object (Apollo had governance over the sun). The papacy was not a continuation of the Roman Empire nor was the Holy Roman Empire; that was the Byzantine Empire.

Thirty Years War, which began in 1618 and lasted until 1648 in Europe, was the event which ended the Dark Ages, broke the Pope's shackles over Europe, and freed the people to learn and innovate.^[5]
Phelps has not checked with bona fide historians as the Dark Ages (properly known as the Early Medieval Period) began with the Vandals' sack of Rome in 455 and ended with Otto I being crowned by the Pope as Holy Roman Emperor in 962 (though some historians hold that it ended in 800 with the crowning of Charlemagne by the Pope). This is the event that established the Empire that restored stability in Western Europe which was ravaged by barbarians from the East and the Umayyad Moors from the West. The resulting stability allowed the papacy to begin establishing universities with the help of monasteries throughout Europe, many established by Papal Bull or by Papal Charter with the seed funding being provided by the popes. When it was not the pope funding the universities it was the various monastic orders or diocesan bishops who did so. Oxford was founded by the Blackfriars (Dominicans) while the Sorbonne (University of Paris) was established by the bishop of Paris. Whenever the state established the university, it was done so in conjunction and with the cooperation of one of the monastic orders that provided the faculty and staff. Claiming that Europe was shackled by the papacy is disingenuous as the papacy was almost always weak as a state.

During the Civil War the Union Army used Irish Catholic Bummers to gang rape blacks in the South.^[5][1]
It is likely here that Phelps is referring to Sherman's Savannah campaign. The Bummers, so called because they foraged their way, meaning they requisitioned food and material and caused destruction to civilian property. Yes, there was a great deal of property damage to economic infrastructure from which the South took a long while to recover and caused further animosity between North and South. However, violence against civilian was limited, though it invariably did occur as can be easily evidenced. Sherman, Howard, Slocum, and Kilpatrick sought to minimize human casualties while bringing the war to a speedy end. The army was under strict discipline, though Sherman himself acknowledged, "No doubt many acts of pillage, robbery, and violence were committed by these parties of foragers". He reported that no cases of rape were known to him. However, a few rapes did occur in some of the other armies and these were dealt in military fashion - firing squad. Very few Irish would have been part of the XIV, XV, XVII, XX Corps or the associated cavalry division under Kilpatrick as these recruits were from Ohio and Tennessee.

In 1588, the glorious Queen Bess saved the Reformation when she donned armor and led the English in one of the greatest naval battles.^[7]
The English were engaged in piracy, and Francis Drake, who was, after all, a pirate, had raided the port of Cadiz the year prior, burned 30 Spanish galleons, and looted their cargo - all done with the blessing of good ol' Bessy. It was not just Mohammedans engaging in piracy, Merrie England was the greatest pirate state of its time, perhaps even the greatest pirate state there ever was, rivaling the Barbary Corsair Beys. The reality is there was no great naval battle nor did Elizabeth don any armor - there were really no Chicks in Chainmail at the time, even though many nerds playing D&D might wish as much. When the navies did engage, five Spanish ships were sunk and eight English warships were sacrificed as fireships. The Spanish lost around 1,000 men at the Battle of Gravelines. Most Spanish losses were due to cold and bad weather brought on by the Little Ice Age. Most of the English losses were due to a typhus epidemic that affected the English marines. Elizabeth, after promising to pay later, refused to pay the sailors for taking part in the battle.^[20]

The King James Version of the bible was translated at the behest of Puritans.^[7]
The Puritans already had the Geneva Bible (GEN) which had been translated to their liking with all references to the church removed. Since they already had their own bible, they had no reason to want the King James Version of the Bible. When the Pilgrims came to the Americas on board the Mayflower, they brought with them the Geneva Bible, not the KJV because it was the bible which they prefered above all others. The Puritans who had access to the KJV, and owning the Geneva Bible was a felony, but, yet, consistently chose the GEN over the KJV.^[21] All persons who worked to translate the KJV belonged to the Established Church (Anglicans). When Oliver Cromwell quotes from the Bible, he quotes the Geneva Bible, not the KJV.

George Washington and James Madison were Baptists^[6]
No, both were members of the Church of England, Anglicans. In 1789, the Anglican Church in the United States changed their name to The Protestant Episcopal Church in the United States of America (or The Episcopal Church, for short). Sorry Phelps, they were not Baptists, but they certainly were Protestants. Phelps wanting to make the foundational instruments of the United States Baptist documents converted these Founding Fathers to his own denomination.

Ludwig Beck was a Lutheran who lead the Operation Valkyrie to kill Hitler.^[22]
Beck was in reality a Catholic, and the last remaining Catholic Generalfeldmarschall (apart from post war a conversion) in the German Army and he lasted only until 1938. All the catholic Generalfeldmarschalls were fired by Hitler by 1938, a year before the invasion of Poland in 1939 which precipitated World War II. While Operation Valkyrie was not a Catholic plot to kill Hitler, most persons who took part in were Catholics and of these most attributed their participation in the plot to their Catholic faith as the factor in doing so, and this was true for the several Protestants who took part in the coup. Beck was not the leader of this plot, as he had been forcibly discharged in 1938 and had little to no contact with the General Staff since that time; however his name was lent to draw others conspirators into the plot but did not play a major role in the plot. Beck was executed by shot to the back of the neck.

South Africa, Rhodesia. Canada and United States are historic Protestant nations.^[1]
Obviously spoken by someone without any education in history. Before the conquest of these lands by European settlers there were people livings in these areas who had their own religions. South Africa and Rhodesia was populated by Huguenots were driven out of France because they hand tried to overthrow the French king and create for themselves a theocratic state, which did not sit well with the rest of the population which was Catholic (>90%). This did not sit well with the French who slaughtered 4,700 of the upstarts in the St. Bartholomew's Day Massacre and the 4,000 man Huguenot army at the gates of Paris running for cover. No longer wanted in France, they went on to enslave black people in South Africa and Rhodesia and create an apartheid regime which disenfranchised to native population. Canada has been historically a Catholic nation, not a protestant one as it was first colonized by the French. Catholic make up two thirds of the professing Christians in Canada. The United States was first colonized by the Spanish. A large swath of land east of the colonies was French while Florida was Spanish and so was the West Coast. So none of these are historic Protestant nations. The largest single Christian denomination in the United States continues to be Catholicism.

JesuitsDidIt[edit]

The Jesuits have mechanized all the major world events, forever seeking to infiltrate and take over organization and individuals and then use these to spread disinformation. Phelps claims that the Jesuits have infiltrated all international organizations.^[4] Jesuits hated nationalism and are devil worshipers and Satan worshipers.^[9] If a Protestant pastor is not preaching about Jesuit infiltration of America, they are really Jesuits.^[4]

Bill Clinton and Donald Trump are Jesuit coadjutors – a silly nonexistent title or office which fundamentalists and conspiracy peddling cranks award anyone they disagree with. Texe Marrs, Hillary Clinton, Steven Anderson, Joel Osteen, Rick Warren, the Bush family and John MacArthur are likewise Jesuits or undercover Jesuits.^[4] If any Christian ministry is not preaching openly against the Jesuits, Phelps contends is a sign that the ministry is working with the Jesuits.^[4] This rule did not apply to Steven Anderson or John MacArthur, two better known anti-Catholic cranks because while they preach against Jesuits, they disagree with Phelps theology so they cannot be anything but Jesuits. Logical.

He claims that he has not been invited by CNN and Larry King for any interviews because King is a Jewish Freemason who works for the Pope.^[4] Being a bat-shit crazy, crank and windbag would not have anything to do with it.

Some more of his whacked-out beliefs:

Assassinations[edit]

• Phelps claims that the Jesuits murdered the US President Abraham Lincoln. Phelps bases his claim on the anti-Catholic screed Assassination of Lincoln, A History of the Great Conspiracy by Thomas Mealey Harris.^[4][23]
• Guess who murdered Kennedy? Yeah, it's a foregone conclusion. The JesuitsDidIt with the help of Cardinal Spellman.
• Jesuits have killed 14 American Presidents.^[7]
• Jesuits murdered SCOTUS Justice Antonin Scalia because he was pro-gun^[4] (Jesuits murdered one of their own High Great Grand Dragon Phurbas "with moose antlers" - does not make sense, but then again what does in the reality of Phelps).
• Jesuits attempt to poison Eric Jon Phelps - which caused his heart to beat faster. No, no, it really was not from the crack being smoked, really.
• The Jesuit Thomas Jefferson murdered George Washington, a great bible believing man of god, by giving George Washington an anthrax laced handkerchief via Tobias Lear. Anthrax is one of the Jesuits biological weapons.^[7] Unsure if Phelps was aware that Washington was a freemason (who according to Phelps are under the control of the Jesuits) while Jefferson was not.

Genocide[edit]

• Jesuits converted Eric Jon Phelps' "beloved, federal, Protestant, Baptist Republic into a Holy Roman, XIVth amendment, corporate, fascist, socialist, communist American empire from sea to shining sea".^[7]
• The Jesuits have been putting black people in inner cities so that they can be used to create a race war in America.^[4]

Jesuit Startups[edit]

• Rationalism was invented by the Jesuits. Phelps claims that rationalists are friendly towards Jesuits because they are in control of the atheist movement and responsible for the rise of communism.^{[4][dead link]}
• All secret societies, even those which are anti-Catholic such as the Freemason and the Ku Klux Klan are working with Jesuits. All the Greek college and university fraternities, including the Skull and Crossbones are run by the Jesuits.^{[4][dead link]} This is the Hegelian dialectic which the Jesuits have engaged in.
• Jesuits began Freemasonry and Freemasons are their underlings.^[5] That is why Catholics face excommunication for becoming a Freemason and Freemasons are hostile to the Catholic Church - makes perfect sense. He did not read the encyclical Humanum Genus^[24]
• Pierre Teilhard de Chardin SJ (evolutionary anthropologist, paleontologist, geologist and philosopher who worked on the discovery of the Peking Man and a Jesuit) started the New Age movement to bring about the Dark Ages and the destruction of Protestantism.^[5]
• Jesuits started the Illuminati; Adam Weishaupt was not a Jew but a Jesuit.^[7] In reality, he was neither a Jew nor a Jesuit.

Wars[edit]

• The Napoleonic Wars were caused by Jesuits. They wanted to avenge being expelled from Western Europe by France, Spain, Portugal, Papal States and were exiled to Corsica where they schemed with Napoleon to declare war on all the Protestant states and destroy the beautiful, wonderful Protestant Reformation and the wonderful protestant states of Venice and the Dutch.^[7]
• The Opium Wars (1839–1842 and 1856–1860) were organized by the Jesuits to gain control the opium trade in China.^[7] Obviously, it was not about the the beautiful Anglo-Saxon people selling dope to Chinese people and getting them addicted.
• World War II was a Jesuit Counter-Reformation where they killed all Bible Believers in Europe.^[4] They murdered "beautiful" white men, White Lutherans men, White Orthodox Russians, White English Anglicans, White Dutch Reformed, White Presbyterian Scots, White Baptist Americans as they are set to destroy White Protestants.^[9]
• Airborne nuclear war is a hoax, and was invented to start the Cold War. Bombs dropped were magnesium flash bombs with Uranium or Plutonium inert slugs. When the magnesium flash bombs were dropped, the Jesuits detonated the nukes at the ground level.^[25]

Terrorism[edit]

• Phelps claims that the Jesuits caused 9/11 and did so with the help of the Knights of Columbus.^[4]

Conspiracies and general nutbaggery regarding the Jesuits[edit]

• The Jews do not control the world; the Jesuits do.^[7]
• The Jesuits detonated a thermonuclear bomb in the Pacific Trench to cause the Fukushima Disaster.^[7]
• The Jesuits are getting ready to marshal an invasion of the United States by a united Sino-Russian-Arab invasion force to attempt to put an end to the Reformation.^[7]
• Jews are not the authors of Communism, the Jesuits are. Peter Jan Beckx tutored Karl Marx in the writing of the Communist Manifesto, so that the world can blame the Jews for communism.^[1]
• Hitler did not write the Mein Kampf; the Jesuits were behind it.^[1]
• Jesuits run New Orleans.^[4]
• The Jesuits are not a part of the Catholic Church structure and are strictly a military order.^[4] They are one of the many Catholic sarcoidal orders and have always been a part of the Catholic Church.^[4]

Miscellaneous Conspiracies and general nutty or false claims[edit]

• National Security Agency (NSA) logo's silver key represents the Pope's temporal powers. The fact holding the key denoting being tasked with securing the nation's security had not dawned on Phelps.
• The Rothschilds were employed by the popes and were the popes' bankers.^[7] Rothschilds were not the popes' bankers though since 1929 many Jews have handled the banking for the Vatican, but these persons did not belong to any of the banking families.
• The Temple Mount was deeded in September 1993 to the pope.^[7] It is managed by the Jerusalem Islamic Waqf.
• 60% of Jerusalem is owned by the Vatican.^[7] Apart from the privately owned land, the State of Israel is the largest owner of land including 99 year leased lands in Jerusalem.
• Jerusalem is the Latin Kingdom of Jerusalem that is what the pope calls Israel.^[7] This would be news to the pope himself. Perhaps, the pope should appoint Phelps to the position of Secretary of State.
• Columbine shooting was a Black Ops.^[7] Yep, surprised as anyone else.
• FSB, CIA, NSA, FBI and the Mossad are working for the pope.^[6] Wonder why each one conducts "wet jobs" on the other. Right, forgot Hegelian dialectic. Never mind.
• Judge Judy, a Roman Catholic whore for the pope.^[1] Everyone else, including Judge Judy other was under the impression that Judge Judy was Jewish, but given that Phelps is an expert we must all accept his claim - and that includes you too, Judge Judy. Oy veh.
• Italians invaded Ethiopia (Abyssinia) to get their hand on the Ark of the Covenant, which they got. A friend of Phelps has the pictures of that solid gold box.^[1] Someone's been watching of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom way too many times.
• Peter was never in Rome and his tomb was found in Jerusalem.^[26] The Protestant run University of the Holy Land has debunked this claim.^[27]
• Dalai Lama is the Buddhist pope and is a freemason.^[26] There is no pope in Buddhism nor does he belong to a freemasonic lodge.
• Buddhism is an idolatrous religion which worships the Buddha.^[26] Buddhist is agnostic with regard to the divine. Buddha is not considered a deity.
• Body builders are homosexuals and are idolatrous who promote the worship of the male human body.^[26]
• The pope claims the title of Lord God, the Pope.^[28] No such title is known to have been claimed nor given to the pope except by Phelps himself.
• Triple crown worn by the pope represents heaven, hell and earth.^[28] The papal crown represents the church in its three stages, the Church Militant, Church Triumphant and the Church Penitent.
• Foremost division within Nazi SS (Schutzstaffel) was the Charlemagne division.^[28] The reality was the Charlemagne division (33rd) was made up of French volunteers hastily organized in 1944 and were ill trained and ill equipped. The Foremost Waffen SS divisions were the Leibstandarte Adolf Hitler, Das Reich, Totenkopf and Hitlerjugend.
• Anton LaVey was a Roman Catholic and the Jesuits wrote the Satanic Bible.^[28] Anton LaVey was not even a Christian and did not belong to any Christian denomination including Catholic.
• Roman Catholics are not Christians because they do not believe in Bible.^[28] The only reason Phelps has a Bible is because the Catholics put it together. Anyone who is baptized and believes in the Trinity would be a Christian - that is what constitutes a Christian.
• All President Donald Trump's bodyguards are Russian Spetsnaz.^[28] All presidential bodyguards are members of the U.S. Secret Service.
• Islam is Roman Catholicism for the Arabs, Blacks and people of color as it is anti-Christ and anti-biblical.^[29]
• Alexander I of Russia instituted the Protestant bible in Russia.^[29] Like all Orthodox, the Russian Orthodox bibles contain the general Catholic canon of the Bible. The Orthodox reject the Protestantism and the Protestant bible. However, in keeping with the "White" message Russians are included (dismiss elsewhere, as there it depends on Phelps' mood swings from one day to the other). However, the Orthodox consider Protestantism a heresy, and reject sola fide, sola scriptura and embrace Sacred Tradition just like Catholics. Orthodox can be considered Catholics without a pope, though this is not entirely true.
• Jeb Bush runs the drug trade in the United States from Florida.^[4]
• Knights of Malta caused the war in Iraq.^[4]

The sinners whom god hates[edit]

Ultra Dr. Evils[edit]

Jesuit Temporal Coadjutors[edit]

Knights of Something or other[edit]

Undercover Jesuits (Jesuit Temporal Coadjutors in hiding)[edit]

Co-conspirators, CIA agents[edit]

Organizations and groups[edit]

Uncategorized baddies[edit]

In a nutshell[edit]

See also[edit]

• King James Video Ministries — fellow travelers and spawn

External links[edit]

• Eric Jon Phelps Show available on 24/7 World Radio on Apple's iTunes

References[edit]