Prime Minister Of The United Kingdom

How an Empire ends U.K. Politics

God Save the King?

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The Prime Minister of the United Kingdom is the Head of Government of, unsurprisingly the United Kingdom. As the country is a Parliamentary system with a Constitutional monarchy this effectively means 'they are the boss'. This bossness increases due the fact the British Parliament basically usurped the Monarch's absolute power over centuries, meaning that the Prime Minister enjoys both legislative and executive powers. Coupled with the fact the country is also quite centralised and the British do not have a formal constitution results in a situation where the Prime Minister has powers over their people that the American President could only dream of - in fact, they are so wide some commentators call the country an 'Elective dictatorship.'^[1]

History[edit]

The Prime Minister's mediaeval ancestor was the "Favourite," a man chosen by the monarch do the admin work of ruling their country - usually revolving around putting the monarch's dreams of more wealth, territory and status into reality. Successful favourites were folks who could deliver the dream and could become very powerful very quickly; unsuccessful ones often came to a sharp, sticky end. In English history, such persons as Cardinal Wolsey, William Cecil, and the Duke of Buckingham filled this role to varying degrees of success. However, a series of random events led to Parliament (at the start not much more than an ad-hoc advisory body made up of bishops, nobles and squires) to becoming the centre of power, rather than the royal absolutism seen in, say France under Louis XIV.

Three generations of warfare decimated the English aristocracy, as well as leaving the monarch almost broke. The situation became predictable; each time the monarch asked Parliament for more cash, they in return would demand concessions and powers. The need for ready cash became serious after a greedy, vainglorious spendthrift blew through his inheritance leaving him with nothing but a Parliamentary allowance and a pile of debt. Therefore, Favourites ended up being appointed what we would now class as 'Finance Minister' and 'getting Parliament to increase the allowance' became their key duty.

The growth of 'the Favourite' was aided by the fact that with rare exceptions, England/Britain (as it was after 1707) then spent two centuries with rulers who were either drunks, utter incompetents, foreign, dull-witted with bouts of illness, or a lazy obese gambling addict. This meant that over the decades, more and more power drifted from monarch to Parliament almost by default, interspersed with times (such as after the Civil War) which allowed Parliament to exploit royal weakness to make those 'drifts' permanent. The Favourite morphed into the 'First Lord of the Treasury' who used their powers of patronage to build up support in Parliament for their/the monarch's policies (known as the payroll vote). The first recognisable "Prime Minister" was Sir Robert Walpole (1676–1745) who was nicknamed 'Screen-Master General' due to his adept string-pulling and jobbery over twenty years.^[2] By the accession of Queen Victoria in 1837 she merely reigned, not ruled - that had fallen into the hands of an oligarchy of aristocrats, financiers and wealthy merchants (as much as you could tell them apart).

The next tussle was between the two Houses of Parliament—the Lords (unelected peers and bishops) and the Commons (elected members), roughly between the ruling oligarchy and the rising bourgeoisie who desired a form of democracy. Through the century, the latter generally won the war; gaining moral authority as the electoral franchise was extended towards universal suffrage and actual authority as the Lords began to be shorn of powers just like the monarch had been centuries before. And just like the Favourite 'followed the money' into Parliament, our Lord of the Treasury followed the money into the Commons. And as you can't speak in the Commons without being a member of it, the de facto result was to ensure 'Prime Ministers' would have to be in the Commons from now on.

Eligibility[edit]

While technically the Monarch can appoint anyone as 'Prime Minister' modern convention demands that it be a person 'who can command a majority in the House of Commons'—i.e. a person who has enough MPs supporting them to actually get stuff voted through so they can well, run the country. This basically means they have a Hobson's choice of one person—the leader of the party which has 50% +1 of the seats. This also means that after the present Prime Minister has resigned their advice on who their successor shall be is another choice of one; either their successor as leader of the ruling party or the leader of the winning party after a general election. Hung parliaments (one where no one party has a majority) normally end up with the incumbent staying on in a caretaker basis until it's been agreed on who will 'give it a try' next - for example after losing the February 1974 election Edward Heath stayed on until the Liberals made it clear they weren't going to prop his Conservative government up (thus advising Elizabeth II to send for Labour's Harold Wilson) and after losing in 2010 Gordon Brown waited a few days before resigning because he needed to see if David Cameron's Conservatives could reach a deal with the Liberals (which they did). The only edge case would be if the Prime Minister died in office; there's no order of succession or formal deputy and the last time this happened was 1865 (Lord Palmerston). However, it appears in these cases the civil servants would ask the ruling party to quickly select 'a senior member' to be a stopgap PM until a new one was chosen.^[3]

As 'commanding a majority in the House' is the key bit, it is theoretically possible a non-MP/leader of a main party could do the job. However, it is very rare; the last non-MP PM was Lord Salisbury in 1895 (a direct descendent of the Elizabethan Favourite William Cecil) and the last non-leader PM was David Lloyd George in 1916 (and even then it's a technicality, as Lloyd George was the leader of a faction of the Liberals).

Duties/Role[edit]

“”I don’t know why anyone would want the job.

—Elizabeth II to Boris Johnson (allegedly) before appointing him Prime Minister - 24 July 2019.

As a person with many hats and with zero 'role definition' has led the position of Prime Minister to become pretty bloated over the centuries; most historians point to the rise of interventionist New Liberalism and then the demands of the First World War to having been the pivotal point. That the traditional, fairly laid-back 'chair of the board' style (which allowed for many heavy claret lunches, afternoons on the golf course and weekends at country houses) à la Asquith buckled under the demands leading to the 'vigorous and decisive' leadership à la Lloyd George and the workload continued to rise after this. In fact, one of the main doubts these days is whether the role is simply too large for one person^[4] even if their office was extended into a fully-fledged ministry for them to work through.^[5]

The respected British historian Lord Hennessy prepared a shortlist of 47 'individual functions' of the Prime Minister in 2011^[6] - and this did not mention the party functions which any Prime Minister would also be responsible for. Without getting bogged down in the details, the job mainly comprises;

• Appointments. The PM not only has to appoint over a hundred people to the myriad of Government posts but also special advisors, the top rung of the Civil Service, the military, ambassadors, the Church of England, the intelligence services, public bodies, state-owned companies and a few organisations defined in law such as the board of trustees of the Imperial War Museum and the National Gallery. Over time the appointment power in some areas has become more theoretical; for example senior judges are now chosen by an independent (non-political) commission.

• Honours. The PM enjoys not only a slew of positions to dole out but trinkets too; medals, decorations and even titles.^[7] Traditionally a means where the monarch would reward cronies and allies it has increasingly attempted to show a more meritocratic face (the public being able to nominate people etc) and awarding celebrities it still remains relatively dominated by civil servants, political cronies and donors and frequently undergoes 'scandals' of various levels.^[8]

• Policy. The PM as leader of the country lays out the goals of the Government and (sometimes) how they would like to see them achieved. A key element of this is the 'art of the possible'; the PM by hook or crook constructing a policy which at least gives a facade of 'party unity' on the topic and limits chances of a 'backbench rebellion'.

• Decisions. Committees, Cabinet and their Private Office; a myriad of issues calling for resolution. Depending on personal constraints, leadership style and how important they deemed it PMs could become rather 'hands on', sometimes to the point they were micromanagers. However, if it details a flagship policy, an emergency and/or an issue which cuts across various departments it can be argued only the deploying of Prime Ministerial firepower can solve - such as getting a department to accept a decision it opposed. The PM enjoys a lot of 'Presidential' powers here (known as 'Royal Prerogative' aka powers inherited from the monarch) most notably over war and peace; from the ordering the shooting down of a hijacked plane to the use of British nuclear weapons.^[9]

• Public Relations. The PM is the frontperson for both the party and country. From Prime Minister's Questions to speeches, via interviews and 'beer and sandwiches'^[10] - the PM is 'out there', doing their best to sell their policies and decisions to party, public or factional interests. And while the monarch provides significant support in the 'VIP hosting' department, the PM shall need to be a close second in the charming, persuading and (occasionally) strongarming of 'outsiders' - including often people they personally don't like and/or countries at odds with Britain.

• Managing Parliament. A PM without control of Parliament is a crippled PM. Without Parliament, many decisions can be overruled, laws passed that they don't desire, subjected to repeated humiliations etc. Every Prime Minister knows at least a quarter of their predecessors fell after 'losing Parliament'. So they have enforcers to (hopefully) avoid this fate; the Leader of the Commons who controls Parliamentary time and debates while the Chief Whip keeps the MPs in line. Concept being; the former does their best to get the correct legislation through Parliament while the latter does their best to make party MPs support it.^[11]

• Managing Party. The PM is PM because they are the leader of their political party; meaning that if they lose the party they lose power. Therefore, significant attention needs to be given to party affairs; from fundraising and appointing people in key roles to dealing with public image and picking (or blocking) selections of MPs in the next election.

• Dispute Resolution. The PM is normally the court of final appeal; a place where parties show up and hope the 'Solomonic wisdom' goes their way. Often this is seen in Cabinet; where two (or more) Ministers might be seriously bickering over a policy (perhaps serious enough to cause one or more to quit) and the PM is expected to find some way out of it.

• Monarch's Audience. The Prime Minister's theoretical boss, so there's a weekly meeting with them to discuss affairs. It can be assumed there's a reasonable amount of letters and perhaps also telephone calls too. These days, the monarch's role is to 'be consulted, to encourage and to warn'. What actually happens or is discussed is a very closely guarded secret however after Elizabeth's death we got a bit of a glimpse; that their role is mainly as a kind of 'confessor'; aka someone the PM can talk to honestly, knowing they at least are neither after their job or would leak the details afterwards.^[12]

• Member of Parliament. Last but not least our Prime Minister is still an MP, and as such still expected to do the 'constituency work' such as responding to the public's communications, assisting with their issues where possible and generally 'being seen' in the district. So yes, the Prime Minister can and does get emails about broken manhole covers and invites to open a new daycare centre. Admittedly, most of the 'constituency work' will be handled on the PM's behalf by their political agent and a secretary at the office but you never know you very well might get them knocking on your door with a rosette and a leaflet.^[13] No sitting PM has lost their seat in an election (yet), so there's an element of 'not wanting to make history' with screwing up so badly that you're ejected from both No. 10 and the Commons at the same time.

Naturally, being Prime Minister is a very idiosyncratic role and there is no single 'correct' method to be a successful one. Winston Churchill and Clement Attlee are both regarded as 'great Prime Ministers' but in many respects of management/leadership style they are polar opposites.^[14] The period of history is important too; Lloyd George never had to contend with television while Thatcher didn't need to consider the power of social media.

Early Prime Ministers[edit]

After the mighty Robert Walpole set things going with a twenty-year stint up to 1742, there followed a succession of lords this and dukes of that. Only a few stand out from the pack:

• Lord North was PM from 1770 to 1782. He presided over the American Revolution, a slow-burning resentment which he stoked to roaring flames with his punitive taxes and laws. After defeat at Yorktown (and struggling to control a week-long series of religious riots in London), he became the first PM to lose a parliamentary motion of no confidence. But he managed to keep the Falkland Islands British. Yay.
• William Pitt the Younger took the job aged 24, fought off Napoleon and brought Ireland into political union with Britain, creating the United Kingdom.
• The Duke of Wellington, spent his 22 months as Prime Minister getting the first major electoral reform and Catholic emancipation laws through Parliament, despite blaming anything that went wrong in the country on liberals.
• Robert Peel introduced Income tax, free trade and an early industrial safety law, and restricted female and child labour in factories. All rather surprising for a conservative - his batting for that side included creating the country's first police force and making the aristocratic, land-owning Tory party into the modern, business-friendly Conservative Party we all know and love.
• Benjamin Disraeli (Conservative) and W.E. Gladstone (Liberal) alternated Prime Ministerial duties from 1868 to 1885, and presided over a series of progressive laws that greatly improved life for most people in the UK; a majority of men became eligible to vote, women could own property, and trade unions were legalised. They are also the only nineteenth-century politicians that most twenty-first century people can name, if you don't count royals.

Prime Ministers 1900 to 1945[edit]

Robert Gascoyne-Cecil (1885–1886, 1886–1892, 1895–1902)[edit]

Gascoyne-Cecil (Conservative), later 3^rd Marquess of Salisbury, presided over the installation of Workmen's Compensation; the world's shortest war—the Anglo-Zanzibar War; and the Second South African War.

Of interest to the Portuguese, this is the guy who kicked the world's oldest military alliance in the 'nads, almost destroying it, with that infamous (for the Portuguese) 1890 ultimatum.

Arthur Balfour (1902–1905)[edit]

Another (Conservative). His cabinet was split over free trade. Mostly remembered nowadays for the so-called "Balfour Declaration" he made when he was Foreign Secretary promising a Jewish homeland in the Middle East which laid the foundation for the state of Israel further down the line. He was an advocate of eugenics.^[15]

Sir Henry Campbell-Bannerman (Liberal, 1905–1908)[edit]

First Prime Minister officially acknowledged in official publications as such.^[16] Last 'Old Liberal' Prime Minister; a Gladstonian with firm belief in fiscal rectitude, (some) reforms, free trade and a small government. Rather more politically savvy than given credit for while a lot less politically radical than believed; most of his reform proposals floundered and 'C-B' didn't seem to be overly interested in ramming them through. Age (69 on appointment) and poor health might have been partly to blame; the latter causing him to resign in 1908 and dying nineteen days later, becoming the only former or current Prime Minister to die at No 10.

Herbert Henry Asquith (1908–1916)[edit]

Asquith (Liberal) endured a turbulent time, with the rise of the Suffragettes, Home Rule, the outbreak of WW1 and the Easter Rising. Asquith had a huge role in the development of the House of Commons and 10 Downing Street as the major powers of Parliament with the passage of the Parliament Act 1911. He increased social spending via tax increases in the 1909 People's Budget, which the Lords tried to prevent but he forced through the budget and Lords reform by calling two general elections in 1910. However unlike most Liberals he opposed votes for women; the rest of his party tried to hold a parliamentary vote on the topic in 1912 but it failed for procedural reasons.^[17] He led a coalition in World War 1 from 1915, but it collapsed in 1916 thanks to a lot of obscure politicking and he was replaced by Lloyd George with the support of press baron Lord Northcliffe (of the Daily Mail).^[18]

David Lloyd George (1916–1922)[edit]

To date the only Welsh Prime Minister, as well as being the only Prime Minister whose mother tongue was not English. Led Britain throughout the latter half of World War One by means of a Liberal-led coalition government which continued for four years afterwards; was the last Prime Minister from the Liberal Party.^[19] As well as the end of WWI, he introduced other radical changes: votes for some women, Irish independence, raised school leaving age to 14, extended unemployment benefit and pensions to most workers, improvements to public health, compensation for some industrial diseases.^[20] When World War II broke out he became somewhat controversial for arguing that Britain could not defeat Germany again and advocating for an armistice.

Andrew Bonar Law (1922–1923)[edit]

Tory politician Bonar Law was the shortest serving Prime Minister of last century, serving only seven months in office, as well as being the first Prime Minister born outside of the British Isles, in New Brunswick - today part of Canada, but at the time of Bonar Law's birth, a British colony. His brief and underwhelming tenure led to his being nicknamed "the unknown Prime Minister." He was also accused of treason while Leader of the Opposition, after declaring the Conservative Party's unconditional support for Ulster unionist militias at a time it was believed they were planning to rebel against the government.

Stanley Baldwin (1923–1924, 1924–1929, 1935–1937)[edit]

Taking over the reins from Bonar Law, Baldwin become one of the most important figures of inter-war Britain, leading the Tories for fourteen years, including crushing the 1926 General Strike. His 24–29 administration was the most positive, with the creation of a nationalised Electricity Board let to a quadrupling of electricity use in the country along with lower costs, and he gave women new rights including the vote at 21, and introduced state pensions for widows and orphans.^[21] But his championing of disarmament (naively believing Hitler to be a reasonable man) led to the UK being insufficiently prepared for the war that everyone knew would come. The end came with Edward VIII's abdication crisis, which he was unable and unwilling to resolve.

Ramsay McDonald (1924, 1929–1935)[edit]

The first Labour PM remains a divisive figure on the left, but his failures were not all his fault, and whatever you think of his actions in the 1930s, before then he played a great role in turning Labour into a major party. A few months in 1924 were sufficient to prove that a socialist government would not embroil the country in bloody revolution, and his nationalisation of the BBC brought about the rise of one of the most widely respected broadcasting organisations in the world. However, he was later overshadowed by Baldwin over the Depression: he was unable to think of a response except proposing large-scale cuts. He led a minority Labour government 1929-31 but when large sections of his party refused to support his austerity measures, he became leader of a National Government coalition including Conservatives and Liberals and very few Labour MPs.^[22] His 1931-35 government focused on foreign policy with limited success: his pacifism led to appeasement of Hitler, he opposed significant home rule for India, and presided at the failed 1933 London Economic Conference which was unable to do anything about the Great Depression. From 1933 his health deteriorated significantly, and he agreed with Baldwin to stand down in 1935.^[23]

Neville Chamberlain (1937–1940)[edit]

(heavy sigh) Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Winston Churchill (1940–1945)[edit]

A cigar-chomping, top hat-wearing millionaire toff who was rubbish as Chancellor, and whose idea to invade Turkey was one of WWI's biggest blunders, Winston Churchill was an unlikely hero. However, his popular touch and ability to think outside the box were always assets, and thus he was launched into the hot seat to manage the UK's gravest-ever crisis, a job he mostly did well at (Italy's failure to collapse instantly being a major fly in the ointment). However, once peace came, he was as surprised as everyone else to find himself unceremoniously removed from power by an electorate underwhelmed by the prospect of Tory "business as usual." Voters always vote for the future.

Post-War Prime Ministers[edit]

Clement Attlee (1945–1951)[edit]

Clement Attlee (Labour) was an agnostic, and a man who nationalised the utilities and oversaw the creation of the British National Health Service by Health Minister Nye Bevan. As the first Labour Party Prime Minister with enough of a majority to do anything radical, he was a hero of socialists and consistently ranks highly in rankings of Prime Ministers. Was hugely influential in Indian Independence and developing Britain's own nuclear deterrent. He was Deputy Prime Minister in a coalition government with Churchill, and arguably more effective than Churchill at the day to day management of the country in the war effort.

Winston Churchill again (1951–1955)[edit]

Churchill was returned to the office of Prime Minister in '51, but didn't make a great peace time leader. His health was very bad, suffering a series of strokes from 1949.^[24] Most of this second term was spent dealing with foreign affairs, one of which led to the joint UK-US coup of Mohammad Mossadegh in Iran in the early 1950s. He also broke the BBC's monopoly on television by launching ITV, paid for by advertising.

Anthony Eden (1955–1957)[edit]

Eden (Conservative) built an early reputation as a politician by opposing appeasement in the 1930s and as Foreign Secretary during World War Two, but pretty much nothing of note happened under him except the Suez Crisis, which led to his resignation (although he was also seriously ill).^[25]

Harold Macmillan (1957–1963)[edit]

Under the half-American Macmillan (Conservative) the UK tried to join the European Community, splitting the Conservative Party, but was vetoed by France. Famous for the first campaign soundbite anyone can remember - "You've never had it so good." An advocate of decolonization, he told South Africa to take note that "The wind of change is blowing through this continent."

Alec Douglas-Home (1963–1964)[edit]

After Macmillan resigned over health problems, there was some trouble over who would succeed him. It became clear that the Earl of Home was the only one who could command the support of the whole Conservative party, and so was appointed Prime Minister, despite being a member of the House of Lords. He disavowed his peerage, becoming Sir Alec Douglas-Home. A by-election was coming up, and he stood for the Conservatives. He was a Prime Minister, though not in either house of Parliament for 2 weeks, quite exceptional for the 20th century. Though not much happened while he was in office, he was notable as the only Prime Minister to sit two would-be kidnappers down, give them a beer, and talk them out of it. Ballsy.^[26]

Harold Wilson (Labour, 1964–1970, 1974-1976)[edit]

First recognisably 'modern' Prime Minister; media soundbites and a carefully-curated meritocratic public image for television. Partly due to this (also due to historical political opportunism) quite a lot of Labour didn't like him. Launched the largest wave of reforms since Attlee; nationalisations, social reforms (including legalisation of abortion and homosexuality), anti-poverty measures, raft of 'modernisation' (such as Metrication) and the tail-end of decolonisation. Found economics to be a constant headache; the country was repeatedly hit by inflation and currency pressures which then produced industrial unrest, finally leading to devaluation in 1967 which was a major reason for his 1970 defeat. However, did keep the UK out of the Vietnam War, despite near-constant pleading from Washington. On the other side of the coin, was the one who ordered British troops onto the streets of Northern Ireland due to sectarian unrest and violence.

His shock (for him) victory in 1974 revealed a country in an even worse situation than before; as stagflation kicked in and with it rising union militancy and societal unrest. After making a decent attempt to somehow 'cut a deal' with union leaders to 'get their tanks off his lawn', Wilson then shocked everyone by resigning after his 60^th birthday. At the time there were a lot of rumours he'd been directly forced out by the British Deep State, but the truth is he was most likely feeling the first effects of Alzheimer’s, and unlike, say, Churchill, wanted to go out before he was forced out due to frailty.

Edward Heath (1970–1974)[edit]

Under Heath (Conservative), Britain joined the European Community, violence in Northern Ireland got pretty bad, and the economy went a bit rotten, allegedly due to the Trade Unions. When he lost leadership of the Conservative party, he publicly sulked and whined about "that woman" and how everything she did was wrong.

James Callaghan (1976–1979)[edit]

Oh god, an atheist! The economy was getting messy as Callaghan (Labour) entered the office, since trade unions were demanding massive pay rises. When they weren't getting them, they were bringing the country to a halt, and the rises were given. The economy couldn't handle it. Nice man, but didn't have the balls majority in Parliament to say no to the Trade Unions. Best known for the Winter of Discontent, a series of strikes that coincided with the very harsh winter of 1978–79 and the breakdown of Callaghan's attempts at pay restraint. It is widely believed that he said "Crisis? What crisis?" in response, and this increased his reputation as out of touch as well as powerless, but he didn't actually say this, it was a Sun headline.^[27] He is disliked in Scotland for the 1979 Scottish devolution referendum, which found a majority in favour of devolution, but thanks to rules introduced by anti-devolutionists (specifically Labour MP George Cunningham), turnout was too low for the result to be valid and Scotland had to wait another 20 years.

Margaret Thatcher (1979–1990)[edit]

Mrs. Thatcher (Conservative) was elected on a manifesto of bringing the Trade Unions under control (after they ended up spending most of the 1970s on strike and causing countless problems), but then the witch went power-crazy. She sold everything the government owned, crushed the rights of Trade Unionists, led the nation to glorious victory over the Argentinian junta in the Falklands War, hated British involvement in the European Community but signed the Single European Act anyway, and then went crazy and introduced the Poll Tax despite even her closest aides' warnings. The aides turned out to be right, and she finally had to leave the office after 11 years.

John Major (Conservative, 1990-1997)[edit]

Someone has to follow the 'star act', and here it was the dull compromise candidate Major. Managed to turn around a serious lag in the polls to win an unprecedented fourth victory for the Conservatives (1992). In charge during the breakup of the Soviet Union, the Gulf War and the Yugoslav Wars. Made a big thing about 'family values' ('Back to Basics') which made the moral failings of his own MPs even more noticeable. Managed to somehow survive and hold his party together (just about) to get it to it's final death at Labour's hands five years later (1997). Most folks still considered him fairly competent and honest, even if they loathed the party and most within it.

Tony Blair (Labour, 1997–2007)[edit]

First PM born after the Second World War. Signed off the peace agreement in Northern Ireland, brought in the largest raft of social and constitutional reforms since Wilson - from the devolving of power to Scotland and Wales to the expansion of LGBT rights and the first climate change legislation. Won three major electoral victories; 1997, 2001 and 2005 partly on the strength of his own considerable charisma. Disliked by the left of his party due to his firm adherence to Third Way and constant 'spin', became despised by them (and quite a lot of others) after he led the UK into the American-made quagmire which was the Iraq War and the creeping authoritarian under the domestic terrorist threat due to militant Islamism.

Gordon Brown (Labour, 2007–2010)[edit]

As Blair's increasingly impatient heir-apparent for a decade, Brown finally got the big chair—just before things fell apart due to the banking crisis. Which was a bit of a political gut-punch for the man who had been Labour's 'economic overlord' for a decade and had built his whole political persona of being a thrifty and responsible custodian of British finances. Which didn't help when PM; being seen by too many not only as incompetent (he never got to claim the credit from rallying the world's finance ministries in averting a global banking collapse) but also as a stereotypical 'dour Scot' who didn't seem to care about people's concerns as the world slid into a huge recession. As heir-apparent, he was also too tied to the Blair era, meaning (unlike Major) he was unable to present his government as 'new' or disavow previous mistakes. Despite all this, he managed to chisel away enough of the Conservative's lead in the polls to help deny them an outright victory in the 2010 election but not enough to save his own hide.

David Cameron (2010–2016)[edit]

David Cameron (Conservative) came from nowhere in 2005 and ran on a platform of absolutely no policies other than ending Inheritance tax and saying, "Hey, I'm not Tony Blair." Being a much better media performer than Gordon Brown (especially in the first year the UK had televised debates) made a big difference. Aligning himself with massively cutting government spending and hating the jobless, he won the most seats, but didn't receive a majority and had to accept a coalition with the Liberal Democrats. While his cuts did seem to target solving the deficit crisis, many saw his cuts as ideological in nature and leaving Britain a much smaller-government nation. His government refused to single out spending on science and research for protection from cuts.^[28]

In 2015 the Tories won a majority in Parliament, allowing Cameron to push for an even more radically anti-working class agenda.^[29] He made a campaign promise to conduct a referendum on whether or not the UK would stay in or leave the EU, and scheduled a vote on June 2016. He preferred "remain", but allowed members of his party to campaign for Brexit alongside Nigel Farage.

Brexit won, forcing Cameron to resign in disgrace, forever remembered as the bloke who may have broken the union. Though, to be fair it's probably better than being remembered as "that PM that fucked a pig".

Theresa May (2016–2019)[edit]

Theresa May (Conservative), the former Home Secretary, took control of the party after Cameron made the ill-advised vote on Brexit. While she supported Remain, she insisted that Brexit was final, and that the UK would leave the EU in accordance to what the people voted. After repeatedly saying she wouldn't call for an early election, she called for an early election in 2017, confident that Jeremy Corbyn's unpopularity would have her increase her majority. But then came the actual election, and she lost her majority along with her authority, leaving her at the mercy of the DUP and the European Brexit negotiators.

Mired in intra-party turmoil post-election, May went from having a popular and fearsome image (some called her the heir to Thatcher), she lost all of it as everyone realized she was a comically inept, woefully detached elitist who's not half as clever as she thinks she is. When her Brexit deal was rejected three different times by parliament, all humiliating defeats given to her by Jeremy Corbyn, Theresa May finally resigned as leader and PM in 2019.

Boris Johnson (2019–2022)[edit]

The British, nicer (which still isn't saying much), poor-man's Donald Trump, complete with watered-down versions of the media circus acts, stunning incompetence, lack of respect for the rule of law, hatred for the poor, disgust of immigrants and refugees, sheer brutality, and downright sociopathic tendencies belied by Johnson's signature disconnection and narcissism that few can ever reach. In only five months after being voted in by 0.25% of the United Kingdom, Boris Johnson (Conservative) broke the law, failed almost every single parliamentary vote since he became PM (setting a new record each and every time), and failed to crash the country out of the European Union without a deal by October 31, thanks to the previously mentioned repeated failures. But since he ran on a slogan of getting Brexit done, that put him in sharp contrast to Jeremy Corbyn, who equivocated on Brexit due to his party's severe divide between Leave and Remain voters. Johnson's 78-seat supermajority-win in the 2019 election appeared to set the stage for five years of horror as he left the EU, intensified austerity like never before, and showed utter lethargy and incompetence in the COVID-19 response. However, a series of scandals involving parties at Number 10 during lockdown and the appointment of a known sex offender as party whip forced Boris to resign in July 2022, although he remained in office until the next leader was chosen, which leads us to……

Liz Truss (September–October 2022)[edit]

A sentient piece of lettuce pretending to be a cheese-obsessed cosplay Thatcher; became Prime Minister on 5 September, 2022. Things did not go well during her short tenure, after her economic plan spectacularly backfired and led to a devaluation of the British Pound. The resulting chaos led to Truss announcing her resignation on 20 October, 2022, which makes her the shortest serving Prime Minister in Britain’s history.

Rishi Sunak (2022–2024)[edit]

Former Chancellor of the Exchequer under Johnson, Sunak is the richest prime minister in history as well as the first non-white MP to ever become prime minister.

As chancellor, he was shepherding the UK through the COVID-19 pandemic. His Thatcherite policies and proclivities led to untold human misery due to his initial refusal to shut down the economy and his decision to reopen the economy mid-pandemic.

Initially replacing Sajid Javid as chancellor, both Sunak and Javid resigned to protest Johnson's appointment of a literal sex predator to be party whip, leading to Johnson's resignation. Sunak ran against Truss for leadership of the Conservative Party, losing to her after five rounds of voting.

But within 6 weeks, Truss lost support from the public and killed her party's PR so thoroughly, she became the shortest serving prime minister in UK history. The party went "Fuck it" and switched to the runner-up in Sunak, the only person who received the 100 recommendations from sitting MPs necessary to succeed Truss.

Now the first Indian, South Asian, and Hindu prime minister in history, Sunak is also the richest incumbent MP due to his background as a former Goldman Sachs executive. Three guesses as to how different he was from Truss and Johnson. Spoiler alert: he wasn't.

Ended up losing his position in a landslide defeat in the 2024 General Election though he kept his seat as an MP.

Keir Starmer (2024-incumbent)[edit]

The first Labour prime minister since Gordon Brown and the first Labour leader to win a general election since Tony Blair, with the largest margin of victory since 1997.

See also[edit]

• President of the United States

External links[edit]

• List of Prime Ministers of the United Kingdom
• Historical rankings of Prime Ministers of the United Kingdom

References[edit]